Effort 5 – I Did Something Today
For 30 days, I will share the joys, pains, and dirty little secrets of my life with multiple sclerosis. My goal is to find a reason to convince you to support/share my fight against MS. Please donate today: https://main.nationalmssociety.org/goto/eleanor.
This is Effort Number 5…
Oh, how I love my coffee cup! Every time I looked down, I chuckle a bit — its simple matter of fact is so true. That are not imaginary friends in my case; I only have one, my inner voice.
I sent my inner voice into a little bit of a tailspin as we were thinking of today’s blog post. I kind of like fucking with him. Here’s how our altercation unfolded:
***
I did something today, something I haven’t been able to do for quite a while.
[Good for you. What was it?]
I successfully rode a bike today. I didn’t think I could, but I did.
[You ride a bike all the time. Isn’t that kind of your “Bike MS” thing?]
Not a trike, today I rode a bike. A bicycle.
[Wonderful… Where’d you go?]
I didn’t go anywhere. It was in the gym, on the stationary bike.
[Bike, trike, stationary, whatever. So, what you are telling me is that you’re excited about the fact that you, the man has been doing Bike MS for 17 years – even though you didn’t ride this year, though you could, but you didn’t – is excited because your rode a bike – though you thought you couldn’t, but you did. *inside eyes rolling* How was it?]
Well, simply put: it took a lot of work, but it was easy. It felt absolutely wonderful, but it hurt like hell. I solved all of my problems, but I need to figure out a good solution. It was very disheartening, but I was so happy. I am back, but I’ve got a long way to go.
[*a completely lost looked no overcome his imaginary face* You’re an idiot, but congratulations]
***
Because of issues with balance, my cycling has been continually forced to take a different approach. My bicycle turned into a recumbent bicycle, which turned into a recumbent trike. The transition kept me out there on the road, although not without its obstacles. Besides having to buy more and more expensive cycles, there was always a learning and development curve. Another issue is the vastly different muscle groups used. Cycling legs and ’bent legs are very different.
The third difference, the frustration factor, is the fact that recumbent trikes are slow. Excellent on downhills, OK on straightaways, I always referred to anything within an uphill grade as riding “like I am towing a sea anchor.”
The fourth, the trigger, is the worsening of my own MS. Foot drop is a general term used to describe an inability to flex your ankle upwards, raising the ball of your foot. Basically, nerve issues caused by MS will prevent muscles from pulling your foot up. At the same time, nerve issues may also cause spasms, pulling your ankle downward and in.
As my foot drop worsened, peddling a cycle became more and more difficult. With the aggravated position, my ankle would snap in the opposite direction than it should. That hurts. It also makes the constant rotation very difficult. For a long time, my pedaling was basically a one leg/foot operation with his partner offering nothing but cumbersome resistance. Being young and dumb, I was just able to push through.
[You haven’t been young for a long time…]
Anyway, maybe just dumb. I muddled through one century ride at Bike MS on my trike, as well as the 206-mile Seattle to Portland ride.
But as my foot drop worsened, my muscle spasms and resistance would pull my foot in too much. I was constantly banging into the crank arm on the pedal, interrupting my attempts to do a one-legged push uphill dragging that sea anchor of a recumbent trike. Suck factor = epic!
A friend of mine is an elite para-cyclist, training for the Paralympic Games. Although she rides a two-wheel bike, her invitation exposed me to a world where I said, “that’s what I want to do!” My consideration is not Paralympic-level performance. Instead, this is the trigger I have been looking for – the reason, the excuse – to push my body past this point I’ve been stuck at for months.
You cannot use a recumbent trike. At the organized level, everyone rides upright tricycles.
Goal #1: learn to ride an upright tricycle.
[Let’s make that Goal #2.]
Goal #1: figure out how to cycle again with some level of performance beyond garbage. At West Point, instructors would grade my performance a, “High Zero.”
It took a lot of work, but it was easy
I’ve explored so many different options, both attempts to relax the muscles pulling down as well as strengthening the muscles pulling up. I’ve also worked then different types of AFOs (ankle-foot orthotics), like the current braces I wear. I won’t go down that rabbit hole and bore you to tears…
[Too late!]
…but I will tell you where I ended up for now. It’s a simple AFO that aggressively pulls your foot up, using constant pressure to overcome the spasms pulling down. Also helping with the dorsiflexion, I only had moderate issues with the inward turn of my ankle. Overall, the experiment was a success!
It felt absolutely wonderful, but it hurt like hell
It took a while to apply the brace and adjust everything for my foot. When I climbed on and started peddling, oh my! It was like…well, riding a bike.
[You used in that stupid pun a couple of blogs ago. Get some new material.]
It was wonderful. I didn’t want to overdo it, however. Quite some time had passed since I rode. Certain muscles don’t work anymore, others don’t have the strength they once held. Ligaments and tendons were not used to the upright bicycle position. I cranked down the tension anyway and rode for 30 minutes, a good time allotment for evaluation. 6.62 miles on a moderate uphill course. Not an impressive number, but if you compare it to the average distance of my rides over the last eight or nine years on an upright bike (0.00), it’s OK.
Did I mention my legs hurt now? The muscles hurt.
[Waaah!]
I solved all of my problems, but I need to figure out a good solution
This adjustment, one I probably should have worked at a long time ago, is the change I need to get back into an aggressive training program. Or, to get into an aggressive training program, depending on how successful you thought I was in the past.
[Back when you 80 pounds heavier?]
Anyway, the brace is good, but I need better. This was just a cheap solution purchased online for immediate evaluation. I kept my regular AFO on, to provide some protection should this one fail. It did, a couple of times, but that was a combination of inexpensive production and an untrained/amateur user. I’ve got some more work to do, more research to conduct, and people to talk with.
Regardless, those are opportunities. I solved all of my problems.
It was very disheartening, but I was so happy
New pains and new obstacles are never an appreciative realization. Personally, I’m sick and tired of more of that. It has been a while, however, since I have seen an upside of these proportions. It will take years to realize the picture I’m forming in my mind. That, right there, is a wonderful thought!
I am back, but I’ve got a long way to go
I put myself back on a bike today. I have targeted goals of performance, as well as timelines and outlines for training plans. I’ll save those for a later conversation, for I made a promise to myself that, in this blog series, I was going to talk about now – the present, and about the past that got me here. That’s what my focus is. My intent is to raise donation support so that the evolution of treatment and care continues in the positive direction I have seen. My intent is to raise donation support so that all the setbacks, failures, and damage I have experienced don’t happen to our next generation.
My intent is to raise donation support so that the words “You Have MS” are only present in the lore of historians and storytellers.
The hope is my story will inspire your donation in this fight.
Because it is a fight.
The fight is not over and it won’t be over until a cure is found.
It will never stop…nor will we
It will never quit…nor will we
This is why we ride!
Please donate today: https://main.nationalmssociety.org/goto/eleanor
100% of the royalties earned from my books go to the National MS Society, to support our fight: https://neverstopneverquit.com/books
Never Stop… Never Quit…?
Kevin Byrne
Portland, OR
www.neverstopneverquit.blogspot.com
Never Stop… Never Quit… Reg. U.S. Pat. & Tm. Off.