The Effects Of Bullying

We have worked with over 5,000 families and this has given us incredible insights into the challenges parents face raising their children from the age of four to eighteen. In the last two years, we have interviewed more than 2,000 parents and have found that three transitions that a child goes through keep coming up in our conversations.?

These transitions impact the whole family, not just the child, and are the root of many challenges that children face. These transitions typically (although not always) happen in the following order:

1. Changing schools
2. Adolescence
3. Separation and loss

We will look at each of these three transitions in detail to give you an insight into why they are so important for your child.

First transition is changing schools

The most common difficult transition young people make is from primary to secondary school, between the ages of ten and twelve. This is a crucial time. As a child’s immediate community suddenly changes, their friendships also change and they have to quickly create new friendships in a harsher social environment – where they have gone from being the oldest, to the youngest – in order to fit in and prevent isolation.?

On top of this, there is increased pressure from a more demanding academic schedule. A huge amount of benefit can come from having a sustained community like a club or activity where they feel at home, respected and happy at this stage.

A common mistake we find parents making is to take their child out of any club they’ve been attending as they go through this transition in the hope that they will make new friends and take up new clubs or opportunities in their new school. This is a mistake for three main reasons:

1. It’s a gamble that the child will make friends quickly and not be isolated in their new school. They might not fit in perfectly to one of the new clubs they have the option to join.
2. They might have worked hard to build a strong sense of community in their current club. Taking this away from them at the same time as losing the community of their primary school can be too much of a shock. Consistency in daily or weekly routines (like going to a particular class) can do wonders for maintaining and improving confidence.
3. The benefits of a strong community are built up over many years, so they have a powerful cumulative effect if a child stays in that community. They can teach the new skills they possess to others, and this leadership has a profound effect on their sense of self, their sense of pride and the development of their character.

To gain a deeper understanding of bullying we must first have a deep understanding of the difficult times a child may face, which can often be a perfect time for bullying to occur. When a child’s community or emotional state is disrupted, they are far more likely to be targeted and experience bullying.