Effectively managing change in chaos

This quote "In life, there are only two things you can fully control. Your effort and your attitude. Everything else is not up to you." by S. McNutt. It was the first thing I read upon re-entry to my office after a few weeks of absence for a family emergency. I was meditating on how stressful the past weeks had been, due to losing my father and journaling, as I usually start my days, and this popped up on Instagram. It spoke to me.

"Everything else is not up to you."

The past few weeks have been particularly unnerving and stressful due to the untimely death of my father. At the time he passed, my business was running great, my home life felt secure and in balance, and I was pursuing a dream with my husband to telework from a beautiful place, for a long period while we considered real estate opportunities for a future vacation home, or second residence in a dream location. However, in an instant, a long-distance phone call informed me that my father had passed completely unexpectedly, and my world went into a tailspin.

To give you context, here is a little bit more about the situation...We were off the coast of Puerto Rico, on a remote island that can only accessed by a small puddle hopper (as in 8 seats or less), or a sporadic ferry. Hurricane Beryl was encroaching on the Windward Islands to our Southeast, and being touted as a Category 5 storm.

As if that wasn't enough, I randomly developed food poisoning...To save you the gory details, I was bleeding, and vomiting violently, unable to keep even water down for over 48 hrs, so I had to go to the island's emergency clinic. There is no hospital on this island. I spent hours there, hooked up to an IV for dehydration. I had a barrage of tests... they couldn't figure out what was wrong with me. Given the weather, I couldn't be medivacked to the main island either.

If you want a perfect opportunity to "Let go, and Let God", this was it. I was not in control of my health, the weather, or the fact my father died in my home country of Canada...and I had no way of getting to him for multiple reasons.

Once stable, and finally back at home...I went into an overdrive tailspin/tornado of action as soon as my boots hit the ground in this situation. As soon as I was healthy enough, my natural, go-to "take care of things" response.

Very early on, a few people created an extreme sense of urgency, stress, and drama. The water got murky quickly, and soon I found myself reacting, instead of what I call #proacting.

Conscious, deliberate, methodical response to events that destabilize. Something I teach my clients to help them navigate uncertainty in life, and business successfully. After all, the only certainty in life is change. Business leaders who lead organizations (whatever the shape or size) must have the capacity to be resilient in the face of change, to practice effective change management, or else they will find themselves in a mess, and their teams will be lost, without clear direction.

In recent weeks as I began to try to wrap my head around the complex situation of my father's untimely death some folks did some deplorable stuff, given the situation.

In order not to lose it completely while under extreme stress, I had to steal myself, put my head down, and plow forward. All I could do was my best.

I realized #extremeselfcare was going to be paramount, and essential in to get myself through this horrible situation, and I made that a priority.

I let my best friend and husband know, in advance, I was under extreme stress, and probably not going to be at my best, and perhaps even a bitch on wheels. I told my support team I needed their help, and patience while I tried to get a grip on the situation, my emotions, and the mountain of overnight admin that appeared and had to be taken care of.

I set the stage to keep things simple, easy, and as low-stress as possible to give myself breathing room.

I ate, slept, and did a lot of walking, and yoga. Work took a back seat indefinitely...until I was ready. All clients, referral partners, and upcoming professional obligations were placed on hold.

I made sure to see friends to create bright spots of distraction from the stress, and uncertainty.

I could not control the situation but I could control my response.

As things started to wind down for the first time in weeks this weekend, I realized there was one thing keeping me sane in the thick of the storm. And that was constantly reminding myself every time things got close to too much to bear that the only thing I could control was myself.

Whew, it's a big one, and hard to remember in the heat of the moment. It's technically three things...

What are the 3 steps to keep calm and manage effectively through a chaotic situation, time, or anything that hits you out of the left field and throws you off?

#1. Acknowledge this was a highly charged and stressful situation

#2. Control your perception

#3. Be deliberate, methodical, and proactive versus reactive thus effectively controlling my response to the situation

Being in control of myself, and my response to the situation allowed me to maintain a manageable and sustainable grip on the situation rather than spiral out of control, or worse, completely crater.

So...this begets a few questions.

What are you getting thrown at you out of left field?

What is throwing you into a tailspin, or forcing you to navigate through uncertainty?

Who or what is pushing your buttons?

What is dragging you down?

How do YOU want to get through this and what can you do to maintain your peace in the chaos?

I'd like to know which place finds you feeling least in control, and reacting versus proacting. Is it:

Work?

Home?

Social?

The general state of the World?

Please let me know by commenting below, and if you feel inspired to, share tips on what you do to keep sane in chaos I would love to know.

Are you wondering if you could benefit from learning some tools and resources to help you better cope with unexpected change or stressful situations as a leader, business owner, or executive? Please feel free to reach out on LinkedIn, and let's talk about it. If I am not the right fit to help you, I am happy to help you find the right person to the best of my ability. You can find out more about my work at MonykaBerrocosa.com. Thank you for reading this article, and remember you're probably doing better than you think.

#changemanagement #managingchange #proaction #navigatingchange #personalgrowth #leadershiptips