Effectively Assessing and Managing Bullying and Chronic Incivility: It’s Time to Retake the High Ground in the Battle of Sustaining Healthy Workplace

In addition to my private coaching practice, I am the professional Internal Coach for a trauma center in the Greater New York area and several professional nursing organizations. These roles allow me to listen to RNs across the country. Every day, I come across postings in the media that suggest that nurses are struggling with burnout. However, that is not what I hear from those I coach or interact with at conferences. When I ask what insights they’ve gained from their COVID-19 experience, almost to a person, they share that they now know they are stronger than they ever thought they could be. That is the language of growth, not burnout. It is vital that every leader understands and supports their staff’s new sense of confidence, competency, and empowerment.

There Is No Putting the Genie Back in the Bottle

When you have successfully navigated a life event that challenged you in body, mind, and spirit, there is no going back. The experience remodels you in ways that may take months to discover. You’re undeniably different, and things you may have tolerated before are now impossible to ignore. If we are to retain our incredibly resilient and talented staff, our leadership mandate becomes, do all you can to create and sustain a positive, healthy workplace that will support the staff’s new sense of self and promote further growth.

Effectively Addressing Disruptive Behaviors in the Workplace: The Time is Now

Strategic initiatives that drill down on the tenets of a healthy workplace, such as communication, collaboration, and recognition alone, fall short of spotlighting the one issue that consistently undermines these blueprints. The disruptive behaviors of chronic incivility and bullying contribute significantly to ailing and debilitating work environments. The time to effectively address them is now. The consequences of not doing so are more significant than ever. As leaders, we must reclaim the high ground in the battle to retain talent and support our growth-oriented staff and our organization’s future. This commitment requires clearly understanding who and what you are dealing with.

Chronic incivility: Behavior That is Not Abusive or Threatening

People who engage in uncivil behavior are irritating, rude, and have low emotional intelligence. However, unlike bullies, they do not make you feel humiliated, vulnerable, or threatened. Think of that colleague who, if they called out sick and you had to work short-staffed, you know you’ll have a better shift. The uncivil suck all the energy and joy out of the department with their chronic complaining, drama, and inability to get their work done.

The danger they pose to the department is simple. Tolerating incivility breeds staff contempt for the leader, and that contempt will eventually morph into a contagion that spreads through your team. Your department’s culture and brand will be sorely damaged.

Effectively Managing Chronically Uncivil Behavior?

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The remedy begins by escalating the situation to the administration and human resources to form an alliance. If you don’t have their buy-in, do not proceed. Be sure to comply with any collective bargaining agreement.

1.????? Consistent documentation is key and may need to continue for months.

2.????? The agreed-upon plan with Administration and HR should include managerial vigilance followed by consistent anecdotal documentation of uncivil behavior despite repeated coaching, counseling, retraining in performance standards, and progressive discipline.

3.????? This is time-consuming, arduous work, but staying on course is essential to avoiding undermining all efforts. Your attention to self-care is vital.

4.????? If department leadership changes, it is crucial that they are fully briefed and continue with the plan.

5.????? Updating Administration and HR is fundamental to ensuring that you are offering the staff member every opportunity to advance.

6. It is important to include the behavioral issues and interventions in a performance evaluation, should one be due during this process.

7.????? Include training to build emotional intelligence to access money, time, and resources.

8.????? Consider a referral to the organization’s Employee Assistance Programs.

9.????? A one-hundred-day performance improvement plan may be the last step.

10.? The outcome should either be that the staff member consistently does better through hard work and support or that the organization has an airtight reason to terminate employment. ?

Bullying: Behavior That is Abusive or Threatening

The Joint Commission declared in 2016 that bullying is a behavior that is aggressive, deliberate, and ongoing. Bullying, like all abusive behaviors, is about power. It causes detrimental effects on the target and is a campaign to undermine an employee or manager.

I submit the disruptive behavior known as bullying is the mentality and noxious temperament of a narcissist in action. Narcissists form relationships based on usefulness not a sense of human connection. Once someone is no longer useful, they’re ignored. Important to understand the profile of a narcissist to gain valuable insights into the thinking of a workplace bully.? ?

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According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual Disorders (2013), published by the American Psychiatric Association, narcissism is a personality disorder characterized by the following traits:

• An exaggerated sense of self-importance. Demonstrating an arrogant, superior manner.
• Belief that they are unique. Expect people to defer to them because they are special.
• Expects recognition without notable achievements.
• Believe they are superior and can only be understood by equally excellent individuals.
• Possesses a sense of entitlement. Expects special considerations and accommodations.
• Lack of concern for the needs or feelings of others.

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The Narcissist’s Secret Weapons

1.????? They are smart, highly skilled, and masters at polarizing people. They count on these traits to create the perception that they are indispensable. This gives them confidence that the leader will hesitate to address indiscretions or behaviors because the leader relies on the bully’s expertise to operate the department.

2.????? They possess the following manipulative characteristics: attractive, charming (when they feel it is a useful tool), and seductive. They can tell you precisely what you want to hear. If you confront them with their behavior, they often make you believe they are sincere in their desire to change if you only give them one more chance.? This ploy gets the leader to enable the behavior to continue unwittingly.

3.????? They are shapeshifters capable of distorting reality so that you begin to question your own judgment. They employ dysfunctional forms of communication known as plausible deniability and gaslighting. They can talk over and around a conversation until, in the resulting chaos, you look like the aggressor, and they look like the victim.

4.????? This ability to manipulate facts and influence perception is why it is essential that you never try to address the behavior of a bully without the full buy-in and collaboration of Administration and Human Resources.

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The Cycle of Bullying/Abusive Behavior

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Bullying, like all abusive behaviors, follows a predictable cycle. As with domestic, elder, or child abuse, the cycle is the same. There is an event followed by a period of remorse and promises of reform. The abuser’s behavior is repentant and overly kind for a time. This reformed conduct cannot be sustained. Eventually, the abuser becomes triggered, and another incident happens.? This is also the pattern of behavior exhibited by a (narcissistic) bully. It is vital to understand that the bully cannot sustain any stated guarantee of reform and will repeatedly resist responsibility for their actions by insisting that the onus lies elsewhere. ?

Effectively Managing Bullying Behavior

The solution begins with escalating the situation to Administration and Human Resources and agreeing on a unified approach.? If you do not have this alliance, do not proceed. Narcissists react to criticism as if it were a physical threat. Their response goes beyond the conventional reaction of denial, defensiveness, and anger. It triggers a need for retaliation and revenge. The bully’s skill in using plausible deniability, playing the victim, and gift for playing one entity off the other will misrepresent your intent, and you’ll risk ruining your reputation and career.

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Why is it difficult for a narcissist (bully) to embrace a new behavior? To align yourself with a plan to change, you must first accept that a problem needs addressing. A narcissist is incapable of accepting that something within them needs changing. They do not believe rules apply to them. They expect that they will always receive accommodation for their specialness.

1.????? Be sure to comply with any collective bargaining agreements.

2.????? Consistent documentation is essential and may need to continue for months or longer, depending on the bully's length of employment. I recommend making a spreadsheet that demonstrates any bullying behavior toward the staff, colleagues, visitors, vendors, consultants, etc. over time and also captures the interventions you offered.

3.????? If department leadership changes, it is crucial that they are fully briefed and continue with the plan.

4.????? Updating Administration and HR is fundamental to ensuring you offer the staff member every opportunity to level up. ?

5.????? Once you have exhausted the coaching, counseling, training, and progressive discipline interventions, the one-hundred-day performance improvement plan is your last option. ?

6.????? Once a PIP is issues be prepared for the bully’s response. Being mindful of your own needs during this time is vital to your wellbeing and ability to withstand their relentless push back.

7.????? Expecting a narcissist to comply with a PIP is foolhardy. They will use every nagging, manipulative tool and threat in their arsenal to sabotage you and influence the people you report to. They will try to wear you down, so you’ll lose resolve. It’s important to remain focused on being the champion for your staff.

8. It is important to include the behavioral issues and interventions in a performance evaluation, should one be due during this process.

9. If you can access money, time, and resources, include training to build emotional intelligence. Consider referring the bully to the organization’s Employee Assistance Programs.

10.? The end game for a bully is an exit from the organization. This decision may be voluntary or made by the organization.

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Standardize Your Documentation to Support Objectivity

Allegations of bullying need to be treated the same way you’d react to a sharps exposure. Immediate action is required. An essential step in the investigation is collecting statements from the individuals involved. Objectivity is essential. Using a standardized format is important to this process. I recommend using the Five W Format.

·???????? Who: Who was present?

·???????? What: What transpired?

·???????? Where: Where did the event take place?

·???????? When: When did the event take place?

·???????? Witness: Were there any other witnesses?

Using standardized tools helps the investigator obtain the essential information while supporting objectivity and reducing the risk of the report being clouded with subjectivity.

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The Long-Term Solution: A Culture of Civility and Citizenship

A healthy workplace is built from within. It features staff that are resilient, lean in, and dare to grow. It is led by those with the courage to insist on nothing less than civility. A culture of civility is built by citizens of a department not employees. Citizens invested in offering their personal best each day. Organizations cannot afford to bleed talent; therefore, the leadership imperative for the 21st century is to create and sustain a work culture that fosters civility, citizenship, and growth.

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REFERENCES

·???????? American Association of Critical Care Nurses. (2016). AACN Standards for Establishing and Sustaining Healthy Work Environments: A Journey to Excellence 2nd edition. American Association of Critical-Care Nurses available at www.aacn.org.

·???????? American Nurses Association. (2015). Position Statement: Incivility, bullying, and workplace violence. An online article found on the Worldwide using Google. file:///C:/Users/Phyllis/Documents/BULLYING%20&%20INCIVILITY/ANA%20WPV%20Position%20Statement%20FINAL.pdf

·???????? American Nurses Association https://www.nursingworld.org/practice-policy/work-environment/end-nurse-abuse/

• American Psychiatric Association. (2013). Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition. Arlington: American Psychiatric Association.
• Caristo JM, Clements PT. (2019). Let’s stop “eating our young”: Zero-tolerance policies for bullying in nursing.?Nursing2020 Critical Care.?

·???????? Garcia MG, Allen S, Griffis L, Tidwell J, Watt J. (2021). Incorporating a Civility Program Into a Healthcare System: Journey or Expedition? Clinical Nurse Specialist.

·???????? Harvard Business Review. (2024). How carewashing alienates employees. An online article found on the Worldwide using Google. file:///C:/Users/Phyllis/Documents/BULLYING%20&%20INCIVILITY/How%20%E2%80%9CCarewashing%E2%80%9D%20Alienates%20Employees.pdf

·???????? Pfeifer LE, Vessey JA. (2017). An Integrative Review of Bullying and Lateral Violence Among Nurses in Magnet? Organizations. Policy Politics & Nursing Practice.

·???????? Quinlan, P. (2018). Bringing shadow behavior into the light of day: understanding and effectively managing bullying and incivility in healthcare. Louisville: Professional Woman Publishing.

·???????? Society of Industrial and Organizational Psychology. (2015). Workplace bullying: causes, consequences, and intervention strategies. An online article found on the World Wide Web using Google. https://www.siop.org/whitepapers/workplacebullyingfinal.pdf

·???????? Stoddard, J. (2017). Civility Matters: Overcoming workplace incivility using an interactive education intervention. An online article found on the World Wide Web using Google. https://digitalrepository.unm.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1000&context=dnp

·???????? The Workplace Bullying Institute: https://workplacebullying.org/

·???????? The Workplace Bullying Project: https://www.dhirubhai.net/company/workplacebullyingproject/

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