Effective Strategies for Handling ‘I Don’t Know’ Moments (leadership vulnerabilities 2/5)

In the previous blog, we delved into the concerns and benefits of embracing the phrase “I don’t know.” This article will explore practical strategies and scripts for employing those words confidently and gracefully in various scenarios.

Common Scenarios and Responses:

1. When Asked a Factual Question in a Meeting. It happens to us all, we may be behind on our research, our minds may go blank, or we simply don’t know. Here are some approaches to take and scripts to use:

· “That’s exactly what I’m seeking to answer.” This shows your boss that you are with them, and the information will be forthcoming.

· “Let me find out” or “Let me look into that and get back to you with what I discover.” Or “Great question; let me prioritize a response and circle back.” When expressed in a supportive and self-assured way, you say you are willing to work to locate the answer. You show yourself as cooperative, valuable, and a resourceful team player.

· “I want to ensure I have the most updated information, let me confirm with you by 5 pm today,” or “That’s a good question, and I want to give you an accurate response; let me get back to you by the end of day.” This shows that you are on top of this work, and it is fast moving, so you want to return with all the correct information.

· If you have a general idea, you can respond at a high level and avoid specifics.

o For example, if somebody asks how the campaign went you can say, “Initial numbers showed it went well, but let me dig into it more, run some reports, and send exact figures to you by the end of the day/week.” This shows you as somebody who airs on the side of providing accurate information.

· As a leader, you may not know the ins and outs of every project in your department, let alone your function, that’s ok, you can redirect your response to another.

o “I’m not sure I’m the best person to answer that.” Then you follow up with the person you think is most appropriate. If the person is in the meeting, you can turn to them, “Jill, I know you are running lead on this project; what information do you have now that you might share?” Or you can say, “My information suggests that Jill would have better insights on this topic; let me turn it over to him.”

o If the person is not at the meeting, you can say, “let me connect you to Bill. He has been doing a great job leading this project, and I want him to provide the most updated information.”

2. When Asked an Opinion Question. For example, “What is your take on remote work,” and you do not have an established perspective yet:

· If you have no idea, you can say: “That is an interesting and complex question. I want to ensure I give it the full attention it deserves; let me ponder it a little more and follow up with my thoughts.” Or “let me flush out my thoughts once I have the headspace to give this more direct consideration.”

· If you have a vague idea, you can say, “That is a good question, I can briefly share my preliminary thoughts, but I want to reflect on this question longer and get back to you when I organize my ideas even more.” Or, “I have a vague idea but want to reflect on this question longer to provide a detailed perspective.”

· If you want to enlist others’ perspectives or if you simply are unsure where to look, you can say, “Thank you for the question; I appreciate you bringing it up. I do not have a strong perspective on the topic right now, but I’m curious to learn what others think?” Or “I have that same question, what thoughts do you or the rest of you have?”

· When you know of the best person to answer, “Why don’t we ask Bob, this is a topic they have been living and breathing so it would be helpful to start with their perspective.

3. When Asked a Question Adjacent to the Topic. If you are presenting on a topic and know everything about it but get asked a question about something tangential. For example, “How does the program you’re proposing for one target group impact another?”

· “We haven’t studied working parents, but here’s what I can tell you / what I know: Seniors, whom the grant designated as the target audience, responded favorably in our initial studies.” This strategy brings the discussion back on topic and ensures that all your hard work and research are not wasted.

· “My best guess would be this…” You can offer an explanation based on what you know, a working hypothesis or a few ideas that can be a launching point for a brainstorming session.

· I’ll note this for further investigation; let’s return to our main topic.

4. When You Want to Empower the Team to Find the Answer. You can ask probing questions to get a clearer picture or guide them toward finding solutions. Your actions will also have demonstrated your commitment to finding an answer, and your team will respect this. Such questions include:

· “What else have they read or been told about the issue?”

· “What have you tried to do, and how did it go?”

· “How important is the issue and its connection to our key priorities?

· “Who is impacted by this the most, and what is the cost if nothing changes?”

· That’s an interesting concept; how would you go about testing the idea?

· I’m curious to learn what others think.

5. When Asked a Question that Sort of Makes Sense. Don’t assume you should know the answer, ask them questions to get more information to possibly react to or you can refer them to another team. You can say,

· “Can you provide more context?”

· “That’s an interesting question. What’s driving it?”

· “I’m not entirely sure. Can you point me in the right direction, or do you know someone who might have the answer?”

· “I’m not familiar with this topic, but there are experts in our team/department who will likely be able to assist you.”

6. If You Already Responded and Were Unhappy with It.

· You can say, “I tend to be a deeper processor, I do not like to fire off my first thoughts, but instead take my time with concepts to think about. Let me ponder this more and offer my revised thoughts next time we connect.

· “Let me take some additional time; my best ideas usually emerge on the drive home or while I’m making dinner, let me get back to you on my point of view a little later.”

· “My best ideas happen with reflection. Let me get back to you once I’ve had the time to do that.”

7. When Asks a Question that Does Not Deserve a Response. Some people ask questions just to derail the agenda, embarrass, or trap you. They pose absurd hypothetical questions that are unrelated, so do not feel like you have to play their game and answer them. You can say:

· “That question will take us in a different direction, I’m happy to meet with you later to discuss this topic or focus on your specific interest.”

· “Thank you for the question, let’s connect offline to address it in detail, or I want to be mindful of time and stick to the agenda topics for this meeting.”

8. When you Do Not Know an Answer and Should not be Expected to Know. You can say.

· This is out of my purview; I’d recommend consulting with John in Finance for the best response.”

When you say ‘I don’t’ know’ with honesty and confidence, without sacrificing integrity, you seize the opportunity to showcase humility and earn respect from others.

Quote of the day: “The more I know, the more I realize I don’t know.”?—?Albert Einstein

Question: How have you seen others respond in similar situations that might be helpful to you? Comment and share below; we’d love to hear from you!

As a leadership development and executive coach, I work with leaders to strengthen their communication, contact me to explore this topic further.

The next blog in this series 3/5 will focus on the concerns and benefits of asking for help.