Effective Networking: Solutions for a Hesitant Networker

Networking is often considered one of the most uncomfortable aspects of professional life. Many people, myself included, find it daunting. Yet, despite our apprehensions, networking is a skill we’ve all practiced since childhood, whether we realised it or not. Think back to the connections (or lack thereof) made in the school playground. The difference now is that as adults, the fear of rejection has intensified for many of us, triggering our fight-or-flight response in social interactions.

Understanding the Hesitation: The Roots of Networking Anxiety

Networking anxiety often stems from a fear of rejection. A memorable piece of advice I received came from a trainer who told me and a colleague, Stuart Cooper BEng (Hons) , that our discomfort with sales stemmed not from a lack of skill, but from an inability to handle rejection. While harsh, this insight was accurate. It also highlighted another issue: our efficiency mindset. We often feel uncomfortable wasting time—ours and others'. If a sales call or networking opportunity seemed unpromising within the first 20 seconds, our instinct was to bail, as we hated the feeling we were wasting someone else’s time.

The Importance of Patience

However, some things are worth the effort and may require more time than we initially anticipate. Another wise lesson I learnt is that timing is crucial. Meeting someone at the wrong time doesn’t mean they aren’t a valuable connection. Staying invested in a potential relationship can pay off in the future when circumstances change.

The Rewards and Benefits of Networking: Business and Personal Growth

Ironically, some of my closest relationships, both personally and professionally, were formed through networking events. One of my closest friends is someone I met through a cold call, despite my strong aversion to such calls! This illustrates a key point: to reap significant rewards, we must sometimes endure uncomfortable experiences.

On a positive note networking can provide a wonderful hit of dopamine when a meaningful connection is made. Often, the reward isn’t immediate business success but the pleasure of a positive interaction and the addition of a valuable person to your network. Effective networking builds a supportive community. When you need guidance or support, your network is who you call. I now have people in my network who will always pick up my call or return it as soon as they can. This reciprocity extends both professionally and personally.

Networking is essential not only for business success but also for personal career development and community building. In a business context, networking can lead to new opportunities, partnerships, industry insights, and recommendations. On a personal level, networking helps craft a career journey rich with diverse experiences and perspectives. Your network can provide mentorship, friendship, and a sense of belonging in your professional world.

Making Networking More Enjoyable

Over the years, I’ve trained myself to not let negative interactions affect me as much as they once did. Here are some strategies that have helped:

1. Embrace Rejection: Receiving a “No” is at least a clear message, allowing you to move on to find more fitting connections.
2. Recognise Mutual Fit: Not everyone will be your cup of tea, and that’s okay. It’s important to be comfortable excusing yourself from conversations that aren’t beneficial. A polite “Please excuse me, it was lovely to meet you” with a smile is sufficient.
3. Get Comfortable Being Uncomfortable: The discomfort is only temporary and is often the gateway to meaningful connections.
4. Remember People are Kind: It is rare for people to be rude. They may be direct, but only a handful of encounters are truly awful. These encounters are temporary.

Conclusion

While networking can be intimidating, understanding its value and developing strategies to manage discomfort can transform it into a rewarding experience. By pushing through the initial unease, you can build a network that provides lasting professional and personal benefits. Ultimately, effective networking is about building a community that supports you and that you support in return. The relationships you cultivate through networking can offer invaluable resources and connections, making the initial discomfort worthwhile.