Effective Listening Tips for Leaders

Listening Like Your Life Depended on It… Because it Does!

“The art of effective listening is essential to clear communication and clear communication is essential to successful leadership.” - Unknown

“God gave us two ears and one mouth to listen twice as much as we speak.” – Charles C. Showell

The art of effective listening is one of the most difficult skills to acquire. We all want to be heard and we all want to share our knowledge and opinions with others. Listening requires two things I feel are truly essential to success. The ability to pay attention to the information being offered by another individual and the ability to harness our inner child, commonly referred to as our ego. If we can’t keep our focus, it often causes us not to listen as effectively as we should. Effective listening means that you must totally tune into what the other person is saying or sharing. To accomplish this takes time and patience. We can’t get distracted by our cell phone, other people, or other things that may cause us to miss important information that the individual is trying to communicate. We cannot look around the room, we must try to tune in by maintaining eye contact with the individual. Eye contact not only assures the person speaking of our interest in their communication, but it also keeps us from being distracted by outside influences.

I remember the days in college, those long lectures. The days in corporate America sitting through those long meetings. Staying focused and absorbing the information is not always the easiest things to do, but the dividends and rewards proved it important to stay tuned in. Here are a few things that helped me.

Maintain eye contact with the speaker let them know that you are interested in what they have to say, it gives them a signal that you are processing the information they are communicating to you. Think about the last time someone you were giving someone important information and they were looking off into space or were easily distracted by things going on around in the area. Did you find it annoying? Did you feel it was easy to communicate with the person? Did you feel they were listening to you or interested in what you had to say? As a leader, we must give the people around us the confidence that we are both interested in what they have to say, and we are paying attention when they need our opinion or council.

Listen to the words and try to draw a mental picture of what the person is saying. Drawing a mental picture allows you to maintain your focus and relate to the information and specific concepts. Our mind easily creates pictures to help us conceptualize ideas and process information. As you listen to a person deliver information tune in with your senses.

Keep focused, but also keep an open mind, try to stay away from drawing conclusions or anticipating what is coming next. Try not to draw conclusions or develop responses to the information you here. Focus on the information and concepts the person is relaying to you.

Be attentive, if sitting move to the edge of your seat as you make eye contact. If standing, maintain eye contact and keep an open posture, refrain from crossing your arms or grasping your hands. This is non-verbal communication that subconsciously, inhibits our ability to process information. Stay relaxed and comfortable, this allows you to remain open to accept information.

Don’t interrupt the person speaking. It is rude and offensive to interrupt the communicator; it can also cause them to lose their train of thought or forget an important aspect of what they want to tell you. Interrupting usually occurs because the interrupter is not actually listening to the entire thought, but formulating a response based on an issue a topic or an idea that they want to expand upon or give their opinion on. As a leader, we have to be very careful of the messages that we are sending. Interrupting your team members when they are speaking sends some very negative messages:

1.     I’m not really interested in what you have to say.

2.     What I am communicating to you is much more important than what you have to say.

3.     I am the Boss; so, do what I say.

4.     I don’t have the time for a conversation, just do this and move on.

5.     I don’t find value in you or your opinions.

6.     I know more than you and so what I have to say is more interesting and important than what you think.

All these negative messages lead to the demotivation and can lead to the destruction of a positive environment within your organization. People want to feel valued and appreciated and listening to their opinions, ideas, and issues are important to building a positive working relationship and environment.

This process works in everything we do whether at work, at home with our family or other areas where we have a leadership role.

I remember an issue that I personally had while in a leadership role as a referee. I referee youth soccer games and one of the most difficult things in this role is maintaining control of the game. Players have opinions they want to express; most are not positive. Fans or (parents) have opinions of calls and the flow of the game, again mostly not positive. And of course, the coaches have their opinion of every call. As a younger referee, I struggled dealing with the relationship with many coaches they were often very vocal and at some points, they could be very disruptive to the flow of the game. I had a senior official who was evaluating me one day to help me improve as an up a coming referee. What he told me changed my performance and way of handling difficult situations by beginning with calmness and listening.

I was in the middle of an intense game and one of the coaches was riding the officiating team very hard arguing every call. The evaluating official pulled me aside at half time and gave me some amazing words of wisdom. He said the next time the coach speaks in a manner that needs to be addressed handle it in this manner.

1.     Walk over to the coach calmly and with a non-confrontational expression.

2.     Ask the coach what his issue is? Then most importantly listen without interruption.

3.     Once the coach finishes his point, thank him for his opinion.

Now, not always did the final part of that conversation end the way the coach would have liked, but it allowed me to gain respect throughout the league as a referee that was fair, listened to coaches’ opinions, and handled games with a high level of professionalism.

As a leader you may not have the ability to end each listening session with a result that pleases everyone, including the communicator, but you want to be viewed as a leader who is fair, firm when necessary, compassionate when appropriate, but most of all consistent in your performance and treatment of all members of your team. Being a good listener allows you to learn more, make better decisions, and encourage your team to think through situations. They develop an appreciation for their value to the team and overall organization. All because their leader listens to them attentively!

Listening attentively shows appreciation and the value of others. As leaders creating a positive mental attitude in the members of our team begins and ends with us and our actions. Take action and you will enjoy the positive results. If you are a good listener already, then continue to utilize and grow your listening skills. If you are not a good listener, please re-read the principles in this section and practice them in your daily encounters with your team. The results will amaze you in a very short period of time. Listen like your life depends on it, because often times it does. The success or failure of your teams’ accomplishments of its goals and objectives is directly attributable to its ability to communicate effectively. Great communication begins with great listening skills.