Effective leadership, at times of change

"Self-care. Being there for your team. Deliver. Know what makes you happy. Remember that you are not alone. You'll need all of this"

I felt very much in Yoda mood, this morning, while having breakfast with a friend, who's a young, ambitious, self-aware leader at a scale up which is ...(sounds familiar?) going through a lot of change.

They started saying that they need to be there for their team - a dozen people that are finding tough to navigate months of significant change, and recurrent uncertainty.

We talked about how important, and difficult, is to project confidence while also showing vulnerability, how we both tend to default to "transparency, and regular sharing" and how in the real world this is at easier said than done: there is info that you are not allowed to share, and there is also info that when shared, with the best intention, with others who have less experience and/or context ends up making their life more difficult (instead of easier).

I then said that self-care is key. And added that I am not necessarily great at walking the talk, here. Even if I know how much this matters. That when we fell short, and end out of balance, the impact is big.

How can we lead and inspire, from a place of anxiety and/or low energy and/or irritability?

We both could see how both these things mattered.

So, I moved on, or ... better ... I raised the bar :-)

I said "and, you need to deliver".

Some of the changes my friend's company is going through have to do with new people with big roles (those that typically start with C) having joined. Those people are key stakeholders for my friend.

I had to remind my friend that - yes, you need to be there for your team, and yes, you want to make sure you take care of yourself - and yet ... bringing results also continue to matter - and may in fact matter even more than before.

They smiled, silently. Then said, quietly ... "I wish there was someone there for me, too... The last 9 months have not been easy ..."

I smiled back. "You are never alone. We never are. When you look for them, there is always someone you can lean on".

I then shared that for most of my career - with a couple of exceptions - I worked at companies, where, as a leader, I didn't get any "formal support" - ie no leadership development program, or similar, was in place.

And, that something that had really worked well for me had been to seek the support of a leadership coach. I had done it a few times, over the years, and every time, got so much value back from those few hours of conversation.

I also told my friend that my most recent coaching experience dated just a few months back, and that in this case I did not have to pay for the coaching - as I was lucky enough to have a peer in the company with those skills, and available to work with me. I encouraged them to explore this too, or otherwise lean on their network and community. #WeAreInThisTogether

Finally, my friend told me that they were missing so much something they loved about their previous role - they shared a concrete example that I then abstracted into "the ability to execute - directly, not via others - discrete, tangible pieces of work". They missed the sense of fulfilment and joy they received from this.

I told them this awareness was so amazing! And that I had, funny enough, gone through a similar journey during my most recent coaching engagement - to make sure I had a clear and fresh awareness of what brings me joy, and what this meant in terms of what choices I was then making in terms of what work to play, and how to play it.

And I told them that in fact I had also helped someone from my own team, just a few months before, on a similar reflection. As I sincerely believe that knowing what makes us happy, and making sure that at least part of our "work mix" brings us joy is ... essential.

The coffee was over (and the croissants too).

Self-care, being there for the team, bring results, know that we are not alone, know what makes us happy.

A hug, until next time.