Effective Leaders are Relationally Authentic: "Are You?"

To contact the deeper truth of who we are, we must engage in some activity or practice that questions what we assume to be true about ourselves - A. H. Almaas.

Relational authenticity is a leader's capacity to relate to himself/herself and others in more genuine, truthful, and deeper ways. Simply stated, relational authenticity is being who you truly are in the presence of others - it’s being real, it’s being genuine, and it’s being reliable. Relational authenticity requires the development of a leader's authentic presence. Authentic presence involves getting in touch with and developing one’s inner self (identity) at the deepest possible levels (physically, emotionally, and spiritually). 

The development of a leader's inner self (essence, purpose, wisdom, character, and energy source) exerts powerful external attractors and sows the seeds of healthy and inclusive human relationships.  A leader's authentic presence in turn nurtures connection, understanding, and caring for the well-being of others and can only be accomplished through personal experience. It promotes caring for the collective good (team & organization) and fosters greater personal responsibility for authentic behavior in pursuit of a higher purpose.

Relational authenticity begins the moment one makes a commitment to engage in relational practices that inspire the evolution of more healthy relationships – relationships born of mutual understanding, compassion, and caring. Making a commitment to engage in relational practices that promote healthy relationships is an expression of enlightened self-interest (Block, 1987). Enlightened self-interest in leadership requires that leaders be more self-aware of their interpersonal effectiveness and take personal responsibility for developing the knowledge and skills to act in more authentic ways.

Relational authenticity is a conscious choice for leaders because it requires that they act in accordance with their most deeply held values and beliefs. It is also courageous because it requires that they be honest with themselves about the quality (nature) of their relationships, good or bad, and be willing to act to nurture or improve them. It also requires that leaders be willing to give and receive open and honest feedback in the spirit in which it is normally intended – to build, edify, and improve. The ability to let relationships unfold in unexpected and irrepressible ways is at the heart of relational authenticity.  

Here are 7 ways I have found in which leaders can be more relationally authentic and effective:

1. Provide people with opportunities to participate in learning activities that encourage their individual freedom of self-expression and contribution in support of collective goals.
2. Provide people with opportunities to participate in activities that provide them with a higher sense of esteem, appreciation and enjoyment. 
3. Provide people with opportunities to participate in activities where they can express their vulnerabilities, openly describe their current realities, and experience others without feeling as though they will be judged or ridiculed.
4. Provide people with opportunities to participate in activities that allow them to make genuine and heartfelt commitments that promote coordinated action.
5. Provide people with opportunities to participate in activities that utilize their distinctive strengths, talents, and competencies towards the achievement of a shared and more meaningful purpose. 
6. Provide people with opportunities to participate in activities that allow them to experience deep emotional journeys of discovery about shared visions, beliefs, and values with respect to the well-being of the team or organization.
7. Provide people with opportunities to participate in activities that allow them the freedom to agree and disagree, converge and diverge, and be both an individual and be part of a community.

Concluding Thoughts:

Relational authenticity is an essential condition of leadership effectiveness. Leaders who are relationally authentic align their intentions with their actions, thereby bringing about a deep sense of hope, pride, and satisfaction for themselves and others. Relational authenticity increases trust and trust strengthens interpersonal connections. Strong interpersonal connections deepen relationships and help to create purpose and meaning. Purpose and meaning fosters mutual appreciation and reinforces commitment and self-expression. Being relationally authentic in small ways keeps leaders whole – acting in ways that provide us with a sense of greater clarity, congruence, and conviction.