Effective Communication – Chapter 3

The Power of Words and Phrases on your life.

Did you know that your ability to communicate effectively determines 85% of your success in life??

It’s true! And it’s the main reason why great leaders are also great communicators.?

It’s important to understand that just because you can talk, doesn’t mean you can communicate well.?

Unlike talking, effective communication means actively listening, motivating your listener, and most importantly, empowering them to take action.?

Almost all of our problems in life and in business are a direct result of ineffective communication. This often leads to wasted time, wasted money, and frustration.?

Luckily, effective communication can be learned.?

And like any other skill, the more you practice, the better you’ll become!?

Power Words & Phrases?

Words are so powerful, they can literally affect your body’s biochemistry: what you say can positively or negatively affect both yourself and those you talk to.?

That’s why it’s important to be aware of your “transformational” vocabulary: understanding which words and phrases push you forward and which ones keep you stuck.?

Examples of phrases to avoid are: “I’m depressed,” “I’m frustrated,” or any phrase beginning with “I can’t.”?

Essentially, the words you attach to your experience will inevitably become your experience.?

While it’s normal to feel these feelings, it’s important to not let them transpire in your communication with others.?

True leaders know how to confront difficult situations and communicate them in ways that motivate and inspire others to overcome them.?

Today we will discuss 6 such Power words and Phrases that successful leaders repeat every day, and they can change the way you look at life.

1?“I will recognize, praise, and empower someone today.”?

You may not realize it, but you are surrounded by people who work hard with little or no recognition. Be the person who recognizes at least one of them for their work every day. This phrase follows the psychological rule of reciprocity: “If you make me feel good about myself, I’ll make you feel good about yourself.”?

The most successful people I’ve ever met are those who go out of their way to make others feel good about themselves. Not only will you give respect, you’ll earn the best kind of respect—the respect that comes from making a difference, however fleeting, in another person’s life.?

2?“I can do better.”?

Successful leaders don’t expect to be perfect, but they understand they can always do better. Think back on your day, week, or month. Think about things that went well and the things that didn’t. Here’s the important part: take ownership of your mistakes.?

Successful leaders acknowledge their mistakes, don’t blame others, and take responsibility for their actions. Motivate yourself to greatness by setting high standards, exhibiting honesty, and being the person others want to be like.?

3?“Saying nothing at all”

True leaders are confident people, and many times don’t feel the need to talk. So, never speak to please yourself—when you do, you please no one. Instead, practice the art of Active Listening.?

It’s so easy to interrupt someone in mid-conversation. Not only is this annoying, but you make the other person feel less important and show that you’re not fully interested in what they’re saying. Commit to paying attention, and follow the Golden Rule for Active Listening: as in life, treat others the way you’d like to be treated.?

4?“You did a great job with X. Here are some suggestions for next time.”

Most people get uncomfortable with the subject of criticism. That’s because destructive criticism can lower a person’s self-esteem. Constructive criticism, however, enables others to improve their performance and work on becoming better.?

Acknowledge a person’s strengths before providing feedback for improvement and then reiterate their strengths again. This will elevate their self-esteem and will increase their chances at productivity. Remember to be honest, and to occasionally shift the focus from that person unto yourself.?

5?“I have a number of solutions...”?

Instead of focusing on the problem, look for ways to find several solutions. Don’t make excuses, blame others, or simply give up.?

Great leaders are visionaries, and always see things beyond what others see.?

6?“I hear you.”?

Empathic, reflective communication creates enduring connections, both up and down the corporate hierarchy.?

Make others feel good about themselves and satisfy their deepest needs—value their importance to lift their confidence and boost their self-esteem.?

6 Tips to Make You Look and Sound More Confident?

You can have the best ideas in the world, but unless you also have confidence and conviction when you express them, you might as well be speaking to a wall.?

These 6 expert tips will prepare you for success in any professional or public-speaking situation:?

1.????Slow down?

This advice seems obvious until you realize how unnatural if feels to speak slowly. We tend to rush our speech when we’re nervous, and frustratingly, that’s usually the time we’re trying to get something important across.?

Slowing down can also help cut out filler words (“um” and “like”) that undermine authority with the sound of uncertainty.?

2.???Stand up straight?

Good posture signals a sense of poise and certainty. That same good posture can do wonders for making you sound more confident. Standing (or sitting) up straight gives your lungs the chance to fully fill with air, which helps you avoid the dreaded vocal fry, where your voice cracks on the way out.?

3.???Rehearse, but don’t sound like it?

True confidence comes from that sweet spot of knowing what you want to talk about but not rehearsing to the point where you sound like you’re reading a script.?

If you’re going into a high-tension situation (like asking for a raise or asking someone on a date), run through the scenario in your head a couple of times. Playing through the scenario beforehand often helps you stay more relaxed and in the moment when you’re having the real conversation—even when you don’t know how the other person is going to answer.?

4.??Say it like you mean it?

One of the best things you can do to strengthen a message is just be yourself. Many of us fall into the trap of overthinking what we’re going to say, and then not listening to what the other person is saying.?

Take a few calming breaths to bring yourself back into the moment, and don’t feel the need to speak if you have nothing to say.?

Never articulate a statement as a question?

A little uptick at the end of a sentence transforms even a definitive statement into a plea for approval. If you’re confident, you make statements that reflect your knowledge and opinion. If you’ve got a question, ask a question. Don’t mix the two.?

5.???Use your hands?

The body language that accompanies your message is just as important as the words coming out of your mouth. Audiences perceive speakers to have more positive traits such as warmth and energy when they use a variety of gestures.?

While some physical gestures, such as fiddling with clothing or touching your hair, can distract or convey a lack of confidence, using your hands when you speak is a great way to communicate your excitement and knowledge about the topic.

6. Never articulate a statement as a question?

A little uptick at the end of a sentence transforms even a definitive statement into a plea for approval. If you’re confident, you make statements that reflect your knowledge and opinion. If you’ve got a question, ask a question. Don’t mix the two.?

Thank you for reading.

Tomorrow we will look at words and phrases that should be avoided at all costs, and what to say instead.