Educate Yourself Today to Save a Life – Yes, It’s Really That Urgent! ?????

*Trigger Warning: Suicide references*

5-minute read ?? (Yes, I’m breaking all the rules with a long article, but trust me, it’s worth it - it could save a life. ??)

The Urgency

There are a few things I’m very passionate about, and EDI is one of them. This week (November 13-19) marks Trans Awareness Week ?????, a crucial time to educate ourselves about trans issues in the context of the current political and social climate. ??

Over the past decade, there has been an alarming rise in violent attacks against trans people. The number of police-recorded transgender hate crimes in England and Wales alone jumped from 313 in 2011/12 to 4,790 in 2023/24 – that’s a staggering 1432% increase ?? (Statista).

But the situation is even worse than this. A recent survey found that 88% of trans people often don’t feel able to report even the most serious incidences (Stop Hate UK). ?? So, the number is likely much, much higher.

When we correlate this with the political position over the last 7 years, it’s not hard to see why. Despite making up less than 1% of the population (0.5% in England and Wales, 0.6% in the U.S.) trans people have been kicked around like a political football in recent years. Things are only likely to get worse, especially in the US. The recent election has intensified concerns. ??? Adding to this, Elon Musk, who estranged his own daughter for being trans and even claimed she was dead, has been appointed to a government position ??.

My hope is that this post encourages at least one person to reach out to a trans person and show their love, support, and allyship ??. Even better if it prevents one more life from being lost. ??

Gender Dysphoria Explained

The majority of the population share a common privilege. Our sex assigned at birth is congruent with our gender identity (our internal wiring). It’s not something most of us have to give much, if any, thought. But for trans people, the opposite is true. Their gender identity (internal wiring) does not align with their sex assigned at birth, creating dysphoria. ?? This dysphoria can lead to a feeling of being trapped in the wrong body and cause extreme distress.

“Oh, but how can that be true, it just doesn’t make any biological sense” I hear a few of you say. ??

Let’s take a moment to reflect on the concept of privilege. I’m gay ??, and if you're straight, you’ll never fully understand what it's like to be attracted to the same sex. That’s just not in your wiring. But just because you can’t understand or personally relate does not make it untrue. It is my very real, lived experience. It is not a debate. I exist. It is part of who I am, my fabric, my internal wiring. Whether you think I exist or not has no bearing on the reality – I exist in this world as a gay person. And, I am not mentally ill, I am just wired differently to you. I am an example of the rich diversity that exists between us humans (wouldn’t it be boring if we were all wired the same! ??)

Likewise, trans people are not a new-age concept, a theory, an ideology, or a debate. And gender dysphoria is not a mental illness. Trans people are very real people, with very real lives, living and breathing human beings like you and I. Again, they’re simply an example of the display of diversity amongst us humans. ?? What’s more, they’ve existed since time immemorial in different cultures across the globe, like gay people.

“What about these labels though ‘cis’, ‘trans’, 'non binary', I don’t want to be associated with them, especially as they're a threat to our womanhood/manhood?!” I hear a few of you say..

If we’re starting from the premise that trans people exist, which we must, because they do (currently around 262,000 trans people to be precise in the UK ), then it is useful to have a term that differentiates trans people from people whose sex at birth does align with their gender identity (intrinsic wiring).

The term ‘trans’ in Latin simply means ‘across’. It’s used to explain that this individual’s gender identity (intrinsic wiring) is different i.e ‘across from’ the sex they were assigned at birth. For some trans people, their gender identity is male while their sex assigned at birth is female, for others it's the other way round. For some other people, the binary of male or female just doesn't feel entirely comfortable. Remember, as humans we exist on a spectrum of great diversity. So for them, they prefer to identify as non-binary.

The term ‘cis’ means ‘on the same side’. So, it’s used to explain someone whose sex at birth aligns is the same as their gender identity (internal wiring). Using the terms ‘trans', ‘cis’ or 'non-binary' is therefore not some insidious plan to dismantle womanhood or manhood. On the contrary, the terms are used to acknowledge the fact that a cis person’s very real and lived experience is different from a trans/non-binary person’s very real and lived experience. Like a gay man’s lived experience is very different from a straight man’s experience. ??????

"I don't buy into all this pronoun malarky though - how can 'they' be used for an individual " I hear some of you say..

I used to teach and part of my role was to mark scripts. The scripts had to be centrally moderated which meant we discussed the attempts. All the scripts were anonymous so we didn't know anyone's name.

"What did do you think about what they did in the first part of the paper?"

"They clearly knew what they were doing in part (a)"

Not that difficult.

You would have done it a million times over too:

"When a new student joins the class, it’s important that they feel welcome and included. Make sure you give them lots of support."

"Aw, cute dog, what's their name? Can I give them a treat?"

We're not inventing the wheel here!

“What about bathrooms though?!” ?? I hear some of you say..

Unsurprisingly, trans people have been using toilets for many years. More surprisingly, this has only gained widespread attention in the past decade due to relentless political posturing of far-right wing politicians seeking to use a minority group to make small gains. These tactics have led to a surge of media hype ?? (fear sells) and social media rhetoric (divisive content generates profit) which have instilled fear. And what’s behind hate? Fear. So, it’s not surprising that hate levels have risen too. ??

But let’s step back and think about this logically for a moment. What we hear is that trans people are, on some fundamental level, a threat to cis women’s safety. But where has this rhetoric come from? Statistics? Nope. There is absolutely nothing to support this wild assertion. In fact, an in-depth study was carried out by the Williams Institute at UCLA School of Law which found absolutely no empirical evidence whatsoever to substantiate this. Further, on an anecdotal level, I’ve never heard anyone in my wider circles experience this– have you?

So where then? ??

See the thing is, trans rights have been used as an easy wedge issue to distract from other, more pressing political concerns. One quickfire way to get political buy-in is to create an enemy, spread fear and provide the public with a solution. So, what better way to do this than to conflate trans women with predatory cis men. Genius, right? Well – not for Tories as they didn’t secure enough votes, but it certainly helped Mr T in his campaign.

But this tactic is also hideously cruel, and it deflects from the very real issues in society which politicians have failed to do little about. As Kathryn Bromwich writes in her poignant article in the Guardian (very much worth a read): “sexual assault, plummeting rape convictions, stalking, unequal pay, the erosion of reproductive rights, workplace discrimination, rampant online misogyny, an institutionally sexist police force, healthcare inequality, insufficient childcare provisions, or never being allowed to age” are the real problems.

The truth is, cis predatory men have been and still are a very real threat to women’s spaces. But let’s stop tarnishing the whole trans community with this predatory brush. It’s a worn out, baseless narrative that has no legs – one that is causing serious damage to trans people who are the real victims here.

A US survey in 2015 involving 27,715 transgender people across the United States showed that:

• 1 in 10 said that someone had denied them access to use the loo
• 1 in 8 said they were harassed, physically attack or sexually assaulted when accessing or using a loo
• More than 50% avoided using public bathrooms altogether for fear of being assaulted.?
• Nearly 1/3 actually limited the amount they ate and drank to avoid using the loo when they were ate?
• Close to 1 in 10 developed a urinary tract infection or kidney infection from holding their bladder for fear of using public restrooms.

Again, this was nearly a decade ago, the statistics now are likely to much higher.

Even if, somewhere, someone had a negative experience, or even if we are merely discussing hypotheticals, why should an entire community be denied their basic right to exist because of the actions of a few predatory cis men who took advantage? Let’s consider a very real example: gynaecologist Robert Hadden, who was sentenced to 20 years for abusing women under his care. Does this mean we should ban all cis men from practicing gynaecology? Of course not. Predatory behaviour is abhorrent, but it must never be used to stigmatise or scapegoat entire groups of people.

We must move beyond the harmful assumption that trans people pose some inherent threat to public spaces. There is absolutely no evidence linking gender dysphoria to predatory behaviour. Instead of perpetuating baseless fears, our focus should be on addressing the predatory actions for what they are—individual crimes— not excuses to discriminate against entire populations.

“So what you’re saying is that us cis women aren’t allowed to have a say?” I hear some of you say...

Absolutely not! The world is built around cisnormative standards which means there are some very important conversations to be had when it comes to trans inclusion which are tricky and nuanced and everyone deserves a say. But, for any of these conversations to be meaningful and bear fruit, firstly, we must start from the very basic premise that trans people exist and secondly, we must actually involve trans people in this dialogue. ??

“Ok, I’m with you now but I don’t think we should be teaching our kids this stuff, they’re too young - right?” I hear some of you say.. ??

Wrong. Like sexual orientation, being transgender is an intrinsic part of who a person is, it is not a choice. Education about gender diversity helps create understanding and acceptance, reducing stigma. It does not "create" transgender people in the same way that teaching people about being gay does not make them gay. We learnt our lesson with S.28 and the damage that caused for gay people by restricting LGBT+ education, let’s not subject trans people to the same torture.

And while we're on the topic of children, the harsh reality is that thousands of innocent kids, teenagers, and young adults have silently watched in fear in recent years as the world has turned on them with metaphorical pitchforks. ?? Statistics show that this hostility is not just harmful—it’s putting their lives at serious risk. ??

In a recent US study by the Trevor Project in 2024 involving 18,000 LGBT+ young people:

• 90% said their well-being was being negatively impacted due to?recent politics
• 46% of transgender young people had seriously considered attempting suicide in the past year ??
• 1 in 10 had actually tried ??
• States that passed anti-transgender laws saw suicide attempts increase by as much as 72% ??

A similar study carried out by the Trevor Project in the UK showed similar unsettling statistics:

• Over half of LGBTQ+ young people (58%) having seriously considered attempting suicide and 1 in 5 (19%) having actually tried ??. The figure specifically for trans youth was much higher (around 30%) ??.
• Further, the study showed that a majority (58%) of LGBTQ+ students said they avoided bathrooms at school due to a fear of safety ??.

My heart goes out to them and the parents of trans kids who must be terrified at this time ??.

But on the flipside, The Trevor Project found in both studies that LGBTQ+ young people who reported living in very accepting communities and/or had schools that accepted them had much lower rates of suicide attempts compared to those that didn’t. Further, a study carried out by the American Academy of Paediatrics found that receiving the right healthcare (gender-affirming care) led to a significant reduction in depression and suicidality in youth:

• a 60% decrease in moderate and severe depression ??
• a 73% decrease in suicidality ??

"But come on, isn’t this all just a bit ‘woke’?" – I hear some of you say…

Fun fact: the term ‘woke’ originates from the word ‘awake’ ??. Its etymology reflects being ‘aware’ or ‘well-informed,’ particularly about social inequalities. In this sense, I proudly embrace the term. Yes, this entire post is woke, and anyone who supports a trans person’s right to exist is woke too. Woke and proud—that’s me ?. However, I suspect some of you are using ‘woke’ in its politicised sense—the version implying excessive political correctness or radical liberalism. If you’ve read this far, the answer should be clear: there is nothing excessive or radical about acknowledging someone’s right to exist ??. Trans people have been part of human history and cultures worldwide since the beginning of time. Recognising that is simply being informed.

"What can I do to help?"

Great question!

Thank you for reading all the way through—I appreciate it ??.

Affirming and supporting trans individuals has been shown to significantly reduce mental health risks ??. You can be an ally by recognising the existence of trans people and voicing your support in any way you can. Here are some practical steps you can take:

? If you do nothing else, share this article ??.

? Educate yourself—read, listen, and learn about trans issues and experiences ??.

? Challenge microaggressions—whether in conversations with friends, family, or on social media ??.

? Intervene if you witness abuse:

- If you hear a trans person being verbally abused, intervene if it's safe and appropriate. If not, report it to authorities ??.

-If you see a trans person being physically abused, call the authorities immediately ??.

? Show your support directly:

-Reach out to trans individuals in your network—at work, on social media, or in your community—and let them know you stand with them ??.

-Offer your time and/or money to charities that support trans rights and wellbeing if you can ??.

? Respect pronouns - use the pronouns someone shares with you (e.g., he/him) ?????.

To Trans People

If you’re trans and reading this, I really hope you’re holding up okay ??.

Despite what I have said here, there really is a lot of love for you ??. I wrote this to educate others, but I have painted a negative picture ??. If this has upset you, I apologise. Equally, I am sorry if I have made any errors in my explanations, I’m speaking from a place of privilege, albeit with good intentions and I’m always open to learning ?.

Please know that you are not alone ??. Some friends and I, as part of the Rainbow Coaching Collective (a group of LGBTQIA+ coaches) are starting up free online circles soon to create safe spaces for community members to connect and chat ??. You don’t need to be in the UK to join ??. To sign up, visit Rainbow Coaching Collective or email [email protected].

Additionally, there are excellent charities offering help, support, and guidance for trans people and their families. For example:

? Mermaids – ??♀?

? The Trevor Project ??

? Gendered Intelligence ??

? Stonewall ???????

? PFLAG – Support for parents ??

Let's stop the hate and get on the right side of history everyone, much love ??