Edition 62 - a spot of reflection

With only two weeks to go until Christmas (eeek!) this is my last Pondering Careers article for the year, so it seems like a good time for a little bit of positive reflection.

Hence, this week we'll be talking about what reflection actually does for us (hint - more than you think), some ways we can reflect without getting into a death spiral of overthinking, and to put my money where my mouth is I'm going to look back on Edition 32 of Pondering Careers which was all about my goals for 2024.

I have mixed feelings about reflection

I'm a chronic overthinker, and spend waaaay too long wondering if I said the wrong thing, or wishing I could go back and do things differently. Which is a problem when we start talking about reflection, because that's the process of actively looking back on what's taken place and evaluating the outcomes, leading to a high risk of overthinking.

But, I also know how powerful reflection can be.

Let me explain with an example; Last night, I was talking with Linc (13yrs) before bed, and we were talking a little bit about his anxiety. He's my youngest, but the other two never really had much of a problem with anxiety, so tackling this is quite new to me, and I've been leaning a lot on my own experiences with anxiety as a teenager in our conversations.

Linc's been trying a couple of different things like box breathing (see below for a video explainer) and I asked him how he was going. He told me that he's been using a different technique - whenever he starts to feel anxious, he thinks about a time when he did something really well. Sometimes he thinks about mountain biking, or working in the garden with us, and other times he thinks about helping his friends out in class, but he finds it's working really well.

He's learnt that a quick bit of time spent reflecting on a successful moment is a great way to tackle his anxiety.

And therein lies the power of reflection - it's not really about evaluating your goals and working out what went wrong, it's actually all about building self-efficacy.

In the Ponder Program, we have a couple of reflective lessons in Module four which aim to do just this (although we don't use big words like self-efficacy with students), and they're designed to build active reflection skills through celebrating their wins.

This process transfers our experiences into examples of success that we can use to inform our beliefs about what we are capable of.

If you are curious about self-efficacy and it's relevance to career development, the American Psychological Association has a great tip sheet here.

Reflection can help us with these three things

Look, it probably helps us with more than this, these are just the three things that I really find work for me when it comes to reflection.

Reflection gives us evidence

First up, reflection gives us evidence of what we are capable of. We look at what we've done or achieved, and that information demonstrates that we should be able to do the same or better in the future.

This often feels like it should be a no-brainer, but it's 100% not.

For example, employers often rate the skills of their new hires more highly than the employees rate themselves. The reason for this is that the employer has been there and seen it before, so they know what the new employee needs and can evaluate skills accurately, but the person who has just been hired doesn't have that knowledge yet.

I'm kicking myself because I can't find the reference article now (if you know the one I'm talking about, please send it my way), but I think it makes an important point about the value of evidence of our capabilities, and the implications on our ability to accurately evaluate our skills without any evidence.

So, the evidence we gain from reflection is really important.

Reflection builds resilience

We all face unexpected challenges, and I'll talk a bit later on about some of the challenges and unexpected things that impacted my year. While it's great to have a goal to give us some sort of direction, it's as-important that we can respond and adapt to challenges and opportunities as they arise.

Reflecting on how we've handled those inevitable unexpected events builds our confidence to face future unexpected events. We can learn from the techniques we used in the past, and draw those in to shape how we respond in the future.

Reflection makes us realistic

It's easy to get carried away when we plan out our futures. Personally, I think it's in our nature to dream big and have high aspirations for ourselves, and all of us, even those from the most disadvantaged backgrounds, tend to have high aspirations.

But it's important that we are realistic about what we can achieve, and reflection plays a part in that.

In taking the time to look at what we've achieved in the past, we can use that information to more accurately gauge what might be possible in the future. This doesn't mean we necessarily need to rein in our expectations for ourselves, in fact, the process of reflection may show us that we're capable of far more than we think. As Bill Gates puts it:

We tend to overestimate what we can do in a day, and underestimate what we can do in a year

But either way, without reflection it's hard to be accurate or realistic about what the future might hold.

Ok, I'm ready to reflect, how do I go about it?

Knowing that you want to reflect is the first part of the puzzle, the next is working out how you actually 'do' it. The reality is that how you reflect, will most likely reflect who you are, and there's no right or wrong way to reflect, so while I've given you my steps below, these may not be the same as your steps.

For example, Rob Sattler ????♂? tends to do his best reflection when he's busy in the garage or hiking somewhere - he needs the physical movement and/or 'busy work' to let things percolate. He also tends to reflect on a regular basis (like, daily) and has a habit of reflecting on his day before he goes to bed, but I'm far less organised and daily reflection is off the table for me.

So, if you like you could use these steps as a starting place, then adjust to find your own version.

Step 1 - Get comfy

This looks different for everyone, but for me, it generally means finding somewhere quiet and distraction-free to sit for a bit, where no one can bother me. I also need tea. Timing is important here - don't try to get into some deep reflection when you've got a big task weighing on your mind, or when the kids are all home.

The two criteria for this step is that you need to be a. comfortable, and b. alone. Reflecting with others, in my experience, leads to distraction, so try to get some time by yourself.

These places can be good:

• While walking, hiking, swimming, riding, etc. (unless you're a fitness freak who can think deeply while running a marathon)
• Somewhere quiet at home, like on your patio, preferably with a sleeping pet close by
• In the shower (this is honestly where I have my best ideas)
• On a plane, train, or bus, where you're trapped for a while and not likely to be bothered
• While doing simple chores
• In a favourite park, gallery, or museum, if you prefer to get out of your normal environment

And don't forget to take along a notepad or journal or some other method of collecting your thoughts and working things through.

Step 2 - Set a timeframe

If you're like Rob, you might want to reflect on your day, which means you probably don't need any materials to help you remember what happened.

But you could also choose to reflect on your past month, or year, or set the timeframe around a project you've been working on (which can be a great way to finish off a project), or a significant personal period.

If you know you won't be able to remember everything that's happened over the timeframe you've set, bring along your calendar or diary, or any other materials that can help jog your memory.

This is super important, because it can reduce the cognitive load and give you more brain-space to process the actual reflection, so don't try and do it all from memory.

Step 3 - Identify the facts

What happened? I'm a chronological type of person, so I like to start at the start of whatever timeframe I'm working with and literally identify everything important that took place over that time period.

If, like me, you're looking back over your year, you might want to start with your calendar for January, and make some notes about the significant events that took place in that month.

We don't just want the 'hard' facts either, include everything that's relevant, and this might be where your memory comes into play.

For example, my calendar from January shows that I didn't have a lot on early in the month, but by about the 15th I was back to lots of meetings. I was also talking to people about projects in the UK and Canada.

But I also know that I got pretty sick in January with the flu, and I spent most of the first half of it in bed. I can get that information from my health app, which tells me I ran a grand total of 8.5km in January, which is less than 10% of my normal monthly distance.

When thinking about the facts, make sure you include all the big events:

• Did you move house?
• Did your child start or finish school?
• Did you go on a holiday?
• Did you complete a renovation project?
• Did you have a car crash?

Anything that impacted on you is worth recording at this stage, so whack it in your list.

Make a particular point to note down anything unplanned - what happened that you hadn't expected?

For me, I certainly didn't expect to get sick like that in January, and I ended up cracking a rib, so I didn't really get back into the swing of things until March. These moments are all part of the story, and need to be included in your reflection, even if they threw you off track a little.

Step 4 - Identify the successful moments

Other people may tell you to start by focusing on what didn't work, so you can learn from it and avoid the same problem again, but I'm not a huge fan of focusing on the negatives.

Instead, I'd suggest looking for the successful bits.

I wrote about 7 different types of success a couple of weeks ago, so you might want to check out that article as well before diving into this part of the process.

These successful moments will be what builds your self-efficacy, so it's important that you work out what went well.

Be realistic as well; in my case, I successfully survived January and the usual back-to-school chaos (it's our busiest time of year), despite being pretty unwell for most of it, which I'm going to count as parallel and redemptive success. I didn't achieve everything I had planned for that period, and a couple of projects got pushed back, but on reflection I can see that I did manage to achieve quite a bit while allowing myself time to recover.

If you're using a notepad, make a note of what went well next to each of the events you listed in Step 3.

Step 5 - What would I do differently next time (if anything)?

The final step is to review the information you've collected about what happened, and what worked, then think about what, if anything, you would do differently now that you have the benefit of hindsight.

If you can look back on what happened and realise that you did a pretty good job of handling things considering the circumstances, then it's ok for you to acknowledge that you wouldn't change anything. If that's the case, simply acknowledging what worked will be enough to help you draw upon those experiences when you face similar situations in the future.

On the other hand, if you realise there are things you could tweak, or even change completely, then this is valuable information that you can also use to help you in the future.

Here's an example:

As a team we now keep an active list when we're travelling to a conference or event. As we realise things we could do better or differently, we add them to the list. So, we learnt a few trips ago that it's always handy to take blutack along with us, even if we don't know what we'll use it for. Inevitably there comes a moment when we want to stick something quickly, and we can't use pins or tape, and this is where blutack comes in. It also makes us popular with other exhibitors, as they may find themselves sans blutack in a similar situation, and we can step in to save the day.

'Blutack' is now on our list, and we have some pre-packed in our travel kit.

We tend reflect while we're away on a trip, and add things to the list when we realise, but we also spend some time, usually in the airport lounge on the way home, reviewing the list and adding anything else that has come up.

This process of thinking through what you could do differently will either reinforce the self-efficacy component (if you wouldn't change much), and/or help you develop new systems you can use in the future.

And that's generally where I stop, unless there's an action I realise I can take now.

Here's how I went in 2024

As promised, we've arrived at the section where I reflect on my own progress this year.

Here's my article from the start of the year where I laid out my grand plans, so you can fact check me if you like:

Goal #1 - Write 3 academic articles

So I haven't achieved this technically, as I haven't had any articles officially published in a fancy journal, but I've made some steps in the right direction.

• I've drafted an article for a journal, and secured a fabulous mentor who's offered to help me with this process
• I've completed a comprehensive rationale and introduction for the Cadi Career Clusters
• Claire Pech and I wrote the Early Entry Report based on our research into the outcomes of the early entry system in Australia
• I set up a 'Publications' section on my website and worked out how to send the right metadata to Google (thanks for your help with this William E. Donald ), and
• I've published 30 Pondering Careers Articles, and I feel like the depth and quality of the articles has improved throughout the year

I'm going to carry this goal over to 2025, but overall I'm pretty happy with my progress.

Goal #2 - Spend more time with family

Easily my favourite goal, and I've also kind of achieved it, but, once again, not in quite the way I'd expected. In Edition 32, I said I wanted to set up Game Night once a week, and that hasn't happened.

We already have Pizza Night every Friday, pretty much without fail, and adding in a separate Game Night with three teens and busy lives proved to be difficult. Instead, we've started playing games (mostly cards) after pizza on a Friday, which has really killed two birds with one stone.

The other way we've worked towards this goal is through being deliberate about how we spend time together, and setting aside time to hang out in teenage-friendly ways. Ethan's about to enter his final year of school, so we chose to take him hiking for a week in September, and we've also booked a trip to Japan (his choice) for January 2025. As a family, we've gone to laser tag and concerts, and spent way too much money on sushi, but we've had a really good time along the way.

Goal #3 - Run a marathon

Ok so I didn't actually put this one into my original list because I had little faith that it was possible, but I really wanted to try to run my first marathon this year.

Unfortunately, unless I get my butt into gear in the next 3 weeks, I think this is going to be a failed goal for 2025.

I've ran a half marathon, and gone from running 250km a year in 2022 to 650km in 2024, despite spending most of January and February on the couch due to cracked ribs.

I do, however, have a plan to run marathon distance by hook or by crook before I turn 41 in March, so watch this space. I've been covering a bit less distance since our hike in September when I lost a toe nail, but am almost back to full speed now, so fingers crossed for a positive and illness/injury free start to 2025.

What about work?

Only one of my goals was even kind-of about work (the writing one), but we've kicked some big goals this year and, just as Bill Gates says, we were able to fit far more into this year than we had anticipated. Looking back, it's actually hard to believe that we've achieved so much with such a small team, but this process has been super helpful and has fed directly into our ideas about what could be possible in 2025.

Bring on 2025

I refuse to think about setting any goals for 2025 until I have eaten my body weight in pavlova on Christmas Day, but the process of reflecting on what's happened in 2024 makes me feel pretty positive about what might be coming.

If you have your own reflective processes, I'd love to hear about them and how they work, and if you have any tips for actually achieving your goals (instead of moving them a bit sideways like me) then please send them my way.

Happy reflecting!