Edition 6: Transformation and the inevitable shitty days (or weeks) - How to get through

It's always interesting (and frankly a little bit spooky), when our own inner work starts to align with that of our clients. I've spoken to a number of coaches about this and all have experienced it on some level. It's where you are doing your own inner work (alone or with your own coach), you have an insight or breakthrough, and very soon after (sometimes even on the same day), your clients ask for advice or support on EXACTLY the same challenge (or something very close).

This has happened a lot for me recently. Personally I view it as the result of aligning with the right clients, but it also links to a common saying in the industry - that you should coach those who are just behind you in SOME area... (meaning that yes you can coach people more successful than you in business for example, but you probably won't coach them on business... get it?).

So getting back to this week's story... At the beginning of this year I started my next phase of serious inner work around alignment, healing, trusting intuition, and opening up my emotional side a bit more. I've written about this in past issues of this newsletter so I won't go too much more into it, but overall I've seen amazing shifts both in the people and opportunities I'm attracting, and in how I feel within myself in general. Overall, I feel A LOT more aligned, in flow, confident in myself, my level of self trust has grown stronger, and particularly around trusting my intuition more and not overthinking things.

But the past couple of weeks... I hit on some deep rooted stuff that I thought I had healed. It brought my ego out (Denial: "I've healed that!"), guilt (Realisation and Self-judgement: "I haven't healed that, I'm a fake!"), and some days of generally feeling a bit shit. Like I was failing at this whole self-development thing (which as a coach translates to failing at EVERYTHING). I also had some proud moments in tough conversations that ended with a positive result, but at the end it still felt like a battle and I was drained... As the work I've done (and am always doing) on myself is of course linked directly to how I serve my clients, the work we've been doing over the past few months had these feelings coming up for them too.

AND IT'S COMPLETELY NORMAL.

Just over a year ago I took the Coach training of the Positive Intelligence Program, and one lesson taught in this is particularly relevant here:

"When you are closest to success, to change, is exactly when the saboteurs (a name they give to your inner 'negative voices') will fight the hardest."

Meaning that when you are closest to healing, to overcoming fears or limiting beliefs, is exactly the moment when those things will fight for survival. You're about to banish them from the Kingdom of YOU. So of course they are going to try to stop you, much like a program in The Matrix that's been scheduled for deletion or exile (yep, I'm a fan).

But it can feel like failure. It can feel like a step backward, not forward. And it's something you need to be aware of and prepared for.

Which is why I'm sharing it here.

Because if you have been 'doing the work' and you're feeling any of the above, then know it's ok. It's normal. You are not alone. And you are also really freaking close to success.

So give yourself some love. Take a night off and relax on the couch, or have a hot bath, or a glass of wine, or go for a long walk, or cry, or go out and have fun with your friends, or watch a ridiculous movie like Baywatch for a laugh (what I did - it worked). What ever it is that you feel like doing...

Give yourself permission to feel a bit shit, knowing that it is simply part of the process and tomorrow is the next part, and it's all bringing you one step closer to that Transformation goal you are doing all this for.

Because there is always a messy part of ANY change. Be it organisational change (the re-training, delivering bad news, building stuff), fitness (the sweat and literal tears in that first PT session), renovations (ALL MESS), and it's exactly the same in personal development change. We just tend to judge ourselves more harshly for it...

For me, the best way through this particular transformation has been a combination of two things:

1. A LOT of alone time - reflecting, meditating, journaling, and just enjoying simple moments like a sunset at the end of the day, basically creating space to be intentionally non-judgemental towards myself, and actually face and integrate whatever negativity I'm feeling.
2. Creating (and actually accepting) a support team - hiring a coach, not holding things in for the sake of others so much, actually asking for (and accepting) support from those closest to me, letting them know about the journey I'm on, letting them see more of 'the mess', not trying to be the 'strong one' ALL the time. And while it definitely doesn't stop the 'shitty days' from coming, it sure as hell makes it easier to bounce back from them. And you know what else... I actually feel a lot stronger in being vulnerable... who knew?

So rather than judge yourself the next time you feel that 'failure' cloud drifting in... let it. Give yourself a night off, learn from it, and know it's a sign that you ARE actually succeeding. :)

Now I don't like to use these newsletters to promote things, I share what I share for those who may need it. But if deep transformation is something you are ready for, I spent the last two weeks (yes, while working through all this, great inspiration!) working on something I'm pretty damn proud of. And something that I know from my own Transformation experience, and that of my clients, is actually going to get results.

Introducing Unleash: Inner Wolf edition, a retreat and transformational experience, starting this July in the south of France.

If you are interested and ready to step into your fears, to get back in touch with who you really are, and to reshape (in small or large ways) your life into something that feels completely aligned - then click the link below and find out more.

But before you do, I'm going to be completely transparent about what you'll find.

1. A 'High' Price Tag: Let's just address the elephant in the room straight up. It's high, if you only look at the number, and compare it to other 5 night retreats. Because I looked at doing just a short retreat for a lower price like everyone else, but it didn't align with the kind of all inclusive experience that I know will REALLY support people looking for this kind of change. Which is why you aren't just paying for a 4 day/ 5 night vacation with some yoga and meditation thrown - then back to the grind. This is a 100% tailored experience designed for you, by me. No team, No agencies planning the logistics. No automation. Just me, taking the time to get to know YOU, and creating a tailored experience and space (right down to your favourite scents, flowers, and colours) to support you in coming back to yourself. And after the retreat, I know it can be hard to integrate everything into 'real life'. Which is why a minimum of 3 months of 1:1 coaching with me is also included. This involves 2 or 3 x 1hr calls per month, with a week off for reflection and rest. So yes, if you look at it as an investment in 4 days, then yes, it looks high. But this is an investment in 3-4 months of personalised support that will positively impact ALL areas of your life, long after our sessions end.
2. This Won't Be For Everyone: I'm not looking to fill spaces quickly, or with just anyone. I'm looking for fully committed people who are ready to face their fears, strip away all the crap that's been put on you by others, and really realign to gain crystal clear clarity and confidence in moving forward. This isn't all woo woo either. I'm a true strategist/ master dot connector at heart so once you have realigned we will be very much focused on getting shit done. If that sounds like what you are looking for, then book a free call and we'll talk about it. If not, then I know there is something else out there for you that is, and I wish you all the best in finding it.
3. There Are NO Hidden Tricks or Extra Expenses: When I say 'all- inclusive' I seriously freaking mean it. There won't be any sales add-ons at the event ("Buy this extra special add on for more value!" Yuck) because the only thing I would want to offer, and only because it will genuinely help, is 1:1 coaching after the event - so it's already in there. There won't be any added fees, or taxes, or any other bullshit. EVERYTHING required that's related to this journey is already included. Of course, let's be realistic... If you want to buy €400 worth of lavender soap for your friends back home, that's totally on your dime. But I'll cover everything else. ;)

See you in two weeks for the next edition...

Click Here to learn more about the UNLEASH: INNER WOLF retreat and transformation experience.