On Eccentricity...

Yesterday – I was once more reminded of my favorite Niel Simon quote from Biloxi Blues – “Never underestimate the stimulating value of eccentricity.” A maxim that has been true of friends, colleagues and family.

It was an ordinary Tuesday morning; outside the San Francisco Philippine consulate I met a beggar who handily informed me that since I had no money, I could easily cash advance $5.00 at the nearby Walgreens from a credit card such that I would have something to give him.

Telling him I’d take the recommendation under advisement – my son Jupiter and I went in to purchase the postage required for three passport renewals. Jupiter asked why I didn’t give him money – I told him I truly didn’t have any – but that food was a better choice than cash when it comes to anyone on the street.

While in the store – I selected a unusually large sub sandwich for the beggar. My son, noticing this rare and out of character act of compassion told me he was proud to see me exhibiting such worthy Christian values. (Jupiter went to a Catholic boys school) I told him I wasn’t much of a Christian – but was impressed by the guys lucidity, moxie, the lack of a stench, his creative problem solving and quickness of wit. “You see, the Lord helps those who help themselves and I rarely see a need to mess with that policy.”

There were no stamps at the Walgreens.

We go outside and hand the beggar the sandwich – he thanks us as someone else is handing him a dollar – we press on to the 7-11 where stamps are found – on the way back, we encounter the beggar again who once more asks for money. I pointed at the sandwich and tell him we already gave as the moment of recognition strikes him. He then introduces himself as the Indomitable Dr. Who of San Francisco, one of several time lords in the area – and apologized for the impolite gesture. I shake his hand.

We are friends now.

I ask him how long he’s lived in the city – he tells me since 1964 and that he has seen interesting times. However, these are dangerous days.

There are signs.

Subsequently, he and his colleagues have been cataloging numerous dangerous micrometeorite impacts all around the city for the last 20 years.

Our civilization will end soon!

He points to a poc in the sidewalk and tells us the impact was several years old – with “more bigger” on the way (I suspect his proximity to the Philippine Consulate was not completely accidental)... While conducting this study, and “Through the use of Science and Measurements and Equations from an Ancient Book” he and his crew accidentally discovered a portal to another universe – over there (motioning down Stockton street…) – while mapping impact points around the city.

I scan the horizon and nod with understanding…

“This explains a lot” I say.

Dr Who continues - his crew of time lords is constructing planets and solar systems for the end times and placing them into a safe quantum pocket universe. (over there)

I ask him for a date, since I have kids I’d like to be ready – Dr Who says he can’t compute that for sure.

However, my generosity is noted and he hereby bequeaths me a billion new universe dollars and a habitable planet for my exclusive personal use once the doorway opens.

Which of course, was way more than I expected for that day!

We bid the Indomitable Dr. Who good day and thanked him for his generosity. Crossing the street, I tell Jupiter that today is a big day - we became billionaires and land owners, with postage – and that I couldn’t have planned a better start to a Tuesday.

He asked me if we could go to McDonald's to celebrate... We had just eaten...