An Easy Method for Constructive Feedback

When was the last time you received clear and honest?feedback?

Feedback?is free consulting! And, the start of the new year is the perfect time to receive?feedback?and?make pivots for both a better life and better leadership!

So, here are the three simple questions you can share with either family or work associates for actionable, constructive?feedback.

Why We Fear Feedback

Why do we fear receiving feedback? Because we know we might hear something that is hard to digest. The fear of being criticized, judged, or having our self-worth questioned can be unsettling. We may be uncertain about the range of emotions feedback may trigger, from defensiveness and embarrassment to feelings of inadequacy or even anger.

Control and Manage Emotions

So, learn to control and manage your emotions. Start by focusing on the behavior instead of the “personal attack.” For example, somebody could tell you, “You’re a horrible listener!” Ouch ?? You have two choices. You can take this personally, or you can focus on the behavior: “Okay, I’ve clearly not listened well to this individual (the behavior). How can I improve my listening skills so this person — and others — feel heard and valued?”

Then be humble: accept the feedback you receive, regardless of the emotion it evokes, and express gratitude to those who shared it. You can then evaluate the behavior to determine how to improve. This is radical growth in your emotional intelligence! And, accept that some feedback may hurt. Would you rather receive hurtful feedback, empowering you to change, or continue living unaware of the behavior that is hurting others?

And know this — much of the feedback you receive will be positive, encouraging, and inspiring. You’ll learn about the good you do for others too!

Three Questions for Constructive Feedback

Here is one very practical method you can use to elicit constructive feedback — and you’ll learn what you’re doing well too! This can be used professionally and personally. It’s a three-step process called Continue-Start-Stop. Simply request from others answers to these three questions (this can printed, a survey, email, or in-person):

1. Continue — what should I continue doing?
2. Start — what should I start doing?
3. Stop — what should I stop doing?

Give people a chance to be heard and provide feedback. It will be healthy for you and your relationships! Express appreciation to those who respond, accept their feedback, and then evaluate what behavior you can continue, start, or stop for improved relationships and leadership.

Wrapping Up

Recognize that you are a wonderful person! You do so much good in this world! As you request feedback from others, you will confirm this. As you get feedback, you’ll also find enlightening ways to improve! Try using the “Continue-Start-Stop” method for constructive and enlightening feedback. You may be surprised at what you learn. And, you’ll improve your relationships. You’ll also grow as a person. And that’s becoming your best!