Easing the Stress of Caregiving with Self Care
The U.S. general population is aging, and this means that people who aren’t healthcare professionals are providing more caregiving than ever before. American Psychological Association statistics indicate that one in three adults in the United States look after another person who needs support[1]. Most of the time, this person is an aging parent or relative. If caring for an aging loved one is a responsibility in your life, this means you are a caregiver.
Aspects of caregiving can be rewarding: the person you’re helping is important to you, and it feels good to be there for them when they need you. However, caregiving also usually requires a change in the roles you’re used to playing with that person. Plus, the responsibility can also be complex, tiring, isolating and begin to impact other areas of your life.?
It’s natural to feel angry, lonely, and exhausted during these times. The commonly experienced emotional and physical stress associated with caring for someone in need is often referred to as “caregiver stress”.
Why is self care important for caregivers?
You may be suffering from caregiver stress if you’re experiencing symptoms such as:
If left unchecked, caregiver stress can turn into burnout[2]. This is a serious problem which can often appears in the form of:
Psychiatrist and Harvard Health author Marlynn Wei reminds us that “caregiver burnout is an example of how repeated exposure to stress harms mental and physical health.” If left unchecked, this stress can dramatically affect many areas of your life: your relationships, your work outside of the caregiving, and all areas of your overall wellbeing.
Just as you do what you can to make sure your family member gets their needs met, you need to do the same for yourself. You may feel like you don’t have time for self care, but the consequences of neglecting your own needs can be very serious. Looking after yourself isn’t a luxury - it’s a necessity. Here are some useful principles for self care for you to work into your life.
6 strategies for self care
The National Institutes of Health (NIH) claim that around 1 in 3 American adults do not get enough sleep[3]. Having stress in your life certainly doesn’t help. However, a restful night’s sleep is vital for staying physically and mentally healthy.?
What you do throughout the day will impact how you sleep that night. Spending time outdoors, avoiding caffeine late in the day and not eating or using your phone right before bed are all effective ways to improve your sleep.?
You may also benefit from creating a 10-minute bedtime routine. During this time, you could do activities such as relaxing skincare, breathing exercises, or having a herbal tea. Many people find a few yoga poses or listening to a guided meditation helps them to unwind.
2 - Prioritize your nutrition
When you’re busy and stressed, it can be tempting to skip meals or reach for a processed, cheap option. However, good nutrition is key for increasing your mental and physical resilience and fighting stress.
Not eating enough can increase irritability and fatigue, so make sure to prioritize eating regularly scheduled meals throughout the day. Chronic stress has also been linked to increased inflammation in the body, which is usually caused by high-sugar or processed foods, and alcohol[4].
Try to keep foods such as fruit and single-sized yogurts around the house, so it’s easy to grab when you’re on the go. Carrying healthy snacks, such as nuts or muesli bars, in your bag is also a great way to have easily accessible and nutritious food on hand when you need a quick energy boost throughout the day.
3 - Try a mind-body practice?
Mind-body practices are a large and diverse group of activities which involve using your body to affect your mind in some way. Examples of mind-body practices include breathing techniques, yoga, tai chi and meditation.
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These practices work by inducing changes in the parasympathetic division of the autonomic nervous system. This part of the nervous system regulates many organs and muscles, affecting heartbeat, breathing and digestion.?
Stimulating the parasympathetic nervous system activates the body’s natural relaxation response. Through these exercises, you can deepen the awareness of the connection between the mind and body, reduce stress, strengthen the immune system, and boost your energy.
Research has shown yoga, specifically, to reduce stress in caregiving groups such as the family of people with Alzheimer’s disease and cancer[5]. You may have yoga classes near you, or you can find routines to follow online. There are also many guided audio meditations available online or via app, making it easy and accessible to try. Check out apps such as Headspace and Meditation Oasis.
4 - Stay socially connected
When you’re stressed and busy, it can be hard to keep a full social calendar. However, staying close to friends and family is an important way to feel less isolated. Set aside time each week for connecting with others, even if it's just a walk with a friend.
You may also want to explore if there are caregiver support groups available through your local hospital or other health organizations. These groups can provide much needed validation, positivity and encouragement, as well as reminding you that you’re not alone. Because these people are in similar positions to you, their advice is often very useful for your own situation.
5 - Accept help from others
It’s common for people in caregiving positions to fall into a trap of overworking themselves and not accept help from others. However, you may have people in your life who want to help. They just don’t know where to start and likely don’t want to step on your toes.
When others offer to help, be prepared with a list of things they could do. For instance, maybe you would like them to run an errand for you or bring a meal over once a week. Let the helper choose which thing on the list they would like to do.?
6 - Be kind to yourself
Caregiving is a tough and often under-appreciated job. There are many people who are balancing this big responsibility with parenting, working and other commitments. Being too hard on yourself isn’t helpful for anyone.?
Every day or week, take some time to think about what you’ve achieved recently and recognize that you’re doing your best. Don’t hesitate to treat yourself sometimes, with a gift for yourself or going out for your favorite food. Try to surround yourself with friends and family who appreciate you and support you.?
7 - Self care is vital for easing the stress of caregiving
When you listen to the safety demo at the start of a flight, they remind passengers that, in the case of an emergency, they must put on their own oxygen mask before helping children or other people who may need help. This is because it’s important to make sure you’ve taken care of yourself before assisting those in need.?
Think of self care as your oxygen mask. If you’re suffocating, you won’t be in a good position to help others. But when you’ve had enough sleep, a good meal, and have support around you, you’ll be able to support your loved ones more effectively. We know caregiving isn’t easy, but self care can make a big difference to your experience on this challenging journey.
https://www.apa.org/pi/about/publications/caregivers/faq/statistics
https://www.verywellhealth.com/signs-of-caregiver-burnout-97981
https://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/health-topics/sleep-deprivation-and-deficiency
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2868080/
https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/self-care-for-the-caregiver-2018101715003