The Easiest Way to Kill Yourself in Business.

Earlier this month I went to the home of The Do Lectures in Wales. I am back there for the 10th Anniversary Do Lectures in June. I'm lucky. 1,500 people applied. For 80 places. I am one of the 80.

Yoga. Wild Running. Sea Swimming. Massage.

This was not your usual seminar. I was there for David Hieatt's (Howies, Hiut Jeans) BREAKTHROUGH Seminar. The full title is:

Three long, life-changing days. 6.45am to 11pm(ish).

The Easiest Way To Kill Yourself In Business.

One person I met there, and will meet again in June is Elle Luna. Elle authored "The Crossroads of Should and Must: Find and Follow Your Passion". She and David asked us to explore our own "Should"and "Must".

“Should” is what we feel we ought to be doing, or what is expected of us. “Must” is the thing we dream of doing, our heart’s desire. Depending on where we focus, how we self-talk and how we frame or reframe dictates what we actually do.

I feel quite vulnerable writing this. But I want to show you what happened when I wrote - honestly - about what Always Where Red means to me when I think about what I 'Should" be doing, versus focusing on what I "Must" do.

Here's how I feel about Always Wear Red when I think about "Should." Should is doing what what is expected of me. These are my actual notes from the day.

"I've peaked already. I can't manage anything bigger than the businesses I had before. I fucked up more than once there, especially towards the end, and I'll do it again. I'm not selling much. I'm expensive. I'm over-communicating the brand. I'm good at building brand for others but I can't build my own B2C brand well enough or fast enough. I'm shit with the money part. Stick. Don't twist. It's too risky. I've been lucky. House, Lisa, Izzy Willow. My luck will run out. I'm inconsistent. I'm full of so many ideas that I can't execute. I get distracted constantly. I should keep the cash I have. I should do what I know."

Here's how I feel about Always Wear Red when I think about "Must." Must is doing what I dream of doing, my heart's desire. These are my actual notes from the day.

"I must commit to AWR because if I don't people will be left stranded. They need my help. And by helping them I am helping everyone. They will become the best 'them' when they wear our stuff. I will empower them. Release them. Free them. They are lost. Everyone is trying to take from them or step on them or is simply ignoring them. I am the catalyst for their change. I will give them the kickstart they need. I will get them noticed. All they need is someone or something to help them believe in themselves. Someone to believe in them. Someone to have their back. Someone to make them feel special. Someone to make them feel that they can start. I am the one that will help them to feel confident, happy and fulfilled. I will feel so proud when I do this and if I don't do it I am ignoring people that are just like me. No one was there for me. I have to be there for them. If not me then who? If not now then when?"

The easiest way to kill yourself in business is to tell yourself the wrong story.

Always Wear Red is just a clothing brand. But a really special one - to me and to our growing community of pioneering customers. To feel amazing is to do amazing. On our homepage it says:

"They will tell you you can't. But you can. In fact - you must."

Should versus Must

The first self-talk was, honestly, what I wrote word-for-word when I thought about what I "Should" do. The second self-talk was what I wrote when I thought about what I "Must" do.

“Should” is what I feel I ought to be doing, or what is expected of me. “Must” is the thing I dream of doing, my heart’s desire. 

I choose "Must".