If Earth was a business what role would each country have?
If the world was a major conglomerated corporation, these are the roles that I think major countries would play.
- Chairman, Chief Executive Officer, and Chief Strategist: The United States of America
This guy is the big boss who is large and in charge. He directs the general vision of the company and uses his immense resources to get things done especially during periods of crisis. He delegates some of his duties to subordinates whom he doesn't necessarily trust. He is close with the U.K. and Canada, but he sure to let them know who is in charge.
- President: The United Kingdom
This old man was once the Chief but due to some devastating corporate wars, he lost most of his fortune and power and he has now been downgraded to President of the firm. He is sometimes bitter that he created and nurtured the USA, but the USA rebelled against him in a most ungracious way and usurped his role as CEO. He is in a mostly symbolic role in which he delegates and explains the CEO’s goals to the rest of the executive leadership.
- Chief Financial Officer: Switzerland
The USA is quite good at finance himself, but when he took on the CEO role he decided to delegate financial management to another world expert in finance. This CFO keeps mostly to himself and completes his work in an efficient and quiet manner. He sometimes works with shady characters to achieve corporate goals…
- Chief Marketing Officer: Sweden
She’s a gorgeous bikini model turned business executive who uses her uncanny advertising talents to market WorldCorp products around the universe.
- Head of Global Manufacturing: China
Mr. China came from a poor and humble background. He struggled for several decades and after deciding to pursue a somewhat positive attitude and change some of his more self destructive habits, he rose through the ranks to become the top corporate leader in manufacturing, even surpassing the USA who once held that role. This executive is very cunning and he’s most definitely gunning for the top job.
- Head of Global IT Services and Support: India
Another hard working individual from a poor background. He was once a servant of the president, but now he has risen to become a tech services giant with his unit’s production in the trillions. He has risen more slowly than China, but he’s looking forward to a bright future.
- Co-Head of Global R&D: Japan
This guy was once an enemy of the USA and after a fistfight in which Japan was in the hospital for a long time, the CEO magnanimously helped him and they became best friends. The USA and Japan worked together to defeat this other crappy corporation called CommieCorp. After pursuing some healthy self improvement strategies, Japan become a giant in technological innovation. He’s getting pretty old, so he’s working hard to offshore and automate many aspects of his job.
- Co-Head of Global R&D: Republic of Korea
Korea was a poor rice farmer whose northern brother attempted a hostile takeover a long time ago. His protective friend USA came in and fought off his northern brother and bought out his farming company. Korea worked his ass off to become prosperous and technologically advanced.
- Co-Head of Oil & Gas Division: Russia
Russia was once the CEO of CommieCorp. CommieCorp was the major competitor to AmeriCorp (predecessor to WorldCorp). Many thought that CommiCorp would end up buying out AmeriCorp in a hostile takeover, but the reverse is what took place. The USA knocked his ass out and put him out of the running forever. Now he spends most of his resources on improving the oil & gas business and selling to various internal divisions and planets around the universe. He’s regained some of his strength but he’ll never relive his former glory. He’s a bitter old man working in a conglomerate run by his former enemy.
- Co-Head of Oil & Gas Division: Saudi Arabia
This guy was once a poor desert nomad. Then he discovered his uncanny ability to find and exploit hydrocarbons. Now, he often works with Russia to manage WorldCorp’s oil portfolio. He lives quite large and has 4 wives. A middle manager in the Oil & Gas division named Iran really does not like him.
- Head of Exotic Animal Sales: Australia
This crazy SOB is the head of WorldCorp’s most intriguing and terrifying subsidiary. Mr. Oz travels all around the galaxy and indeed the universe to market Common death adder’s, Tasmanian devil’s, and Redback spider’s to new and unexplored alien markets.
- Head of Offensive Cyber Attack Unit: Nigeria
Nigeria and his unit conduct offensive cyber attacks against corporate enemies of WorldCorp. He was recently promoted after conducting a successful spear phishing campaign against MarsCorp and got their R&D unit to reveal important trade secrets.
- Executive Vice President of Product Design: Italy
Italy is super hot and she has an eye for design. She studied at one of the top design institutes and now she designs super high quality goods for WorldCorp.
- Executive Vice President of Process Improvement and Efficiency: Germany
Germany is stiff and disciplined, yet quite liberal. He works to improve inefficient processes all throughout the company. He survived and rose because the USA helped him, but he doesn't really like the CEO because USA knocked him out with Russia a long time ago and the USA often tells him what to do.
- Chief Union Leader: France
This guy is a connoisseur of Karl Marx and a die hard socialist. He’s your typical dirty hippy who doesn't believe in personal responsibility or a hard days work. He spends his days trying to unionize the workers and gets frustrated when the workers tell him to take a hike.
- Chief Diversity Officer: Canada
Canada is a young and idealistic executive who thinks that WorldCorp should prioritize racial, ethnic, and religious diversity within the firm rather than talent and work ethic. USA, China, and Russia laugh at her, while the U.K. lends a sympathetic ear.