Earning your lifestyle

I used to play keyboards/piano and on Saturdays I, along with some friends, would rent out a music studio for a few hours and play together - I was around 14 years old at the time.

On one of these Saturday mornings, I asked my dad for $20 to pay for my share of the studio time. He opened his wallet, handed me the $20 without a comment, and I went on with it. I was very grateful and gave him a big hug.

That night, I had arranged to go out with some friends so before heading out, I asked for another $20. He again opened his wallet and without question handed me another $20. Boy was I lucky, no questions, no push back, just a simple smile. I again was very grateful and gave him a big hug.?

The next day came, and again I arranged to meet up with some friends (trust me I wasn’t that popular but clearly a lot happened this weekend), I have no recollection of what we had arranged but that’s unrelated. So, I went up to my dad and asked for another $20. And then it happened. He said to me, “Eddie, what do you think this is? Who do you think I am? I can’t afford to give you $60 over a weekend. Your mum and I work hard and can afford our lives, but we don’t do that well. If you want to go out as much as this, go and get a job!”?

That’s when it hit me. If I wanted to have the social life I wanted, I couldn’t be dependent on my parents funding it.

I was turning 15 soon and in Australia you can get a job (officially) when you’re 14 years and 9 months old.

My first job was as a layby boy (layaway for those in the U.S.), and for those of you that don’t know what that is, it’s when you package up items that customers want to purchase but they pay through regular payments. So, I would put these items into storage until they were able to pay it all off 100%. Clearly today that product has largely been replaced with buy now pay later offerings.

Anyway, it was my first job and earning which was at the time around $50 per week, was enough to get my life going without expecting $60 weekly from my dad.

I’m a little more fortunate than my parents and can afford to help my kids out more than what he and my Mum were able to afford, but having said that, I certainly still live by this principle. We should help our kids but we need to create that tension so they can help themselves. This becomes a big debate by situation, stage, child and phase but in principle, I do believe that kids/teens, need to learn that money doesn't come easy and if they want to create the life which offers them the ability to do much of what they want, it won’t be provided for by their parents.?

Now I do believe that they shouldn’t work and earn money at the expense of an education and creating much opportunity in their lives, however I do agree that tension/struggle between buying things or having to earn money to then buy those things is very important.?

Clearly context matters but paying 100% for everything in their lives is not viable no matter what. And what we’re teaching them is that money comes easy.

My wife and I decided years ago to put each of our 4 boys on weekly allowances, clearly varied by age and stage. Then expected (and taught) them to manage their own money. It provides tension and learning with their decision making. I feel it also teaches them they have limitations. Which is critical!?

Everything has a price but having to make your own decisions as to what is more or less important as a child is important. Plus, you’re going to get it wrong sometimes and that learning is priceless.

Limitations of life as it relates to spending money is a series of lessons that all our kids must recognize, no matter how easy it may seem to them.