Earn the right to connect

My post “Signal v Noise – Subtract, don't Add”, created much debate, some connecting with the Power of saying NO! Others noted the hard part is deciding what we want, whilst one person firmly committing to a ‘to No’ list rather than a ‘to Do’ list.

It begs the deeper question: how to gain clarity of focus in a very distracting world. I believe this is closely linked to attitude and mindset to risk. Simon Mundie had an excellent interview with pro-climber, skier, photographer and Oscar-winning film director Jimmy Chin, who shared:

"The two great risks are risking too much but also risking too little. That's for each person to decide. For me,?not risking anything is worse than death. By far."?

I have observed many people are very risk averse, yet by not going into a new arena of skill development, career path or business, they can end up with an unlived life and career. It is over ten years since I published my first book Be a Job Magnet.

I was very scared it would not be a success and plenty also told me I would not be able to do it as I am dyslexic. One of my favourite mantras to myself is:

resources will show up after you have shown commitment.

When I committed to the book, indeed they did, with fellow authors offering me a guiding hand. That book has positively impacted thousands of careers, increased the income of many payments leaders and unlocked confidence in others to change career direction.

It has also enabled me to do the job I love every day, positively impacting leaders’ careers and lives. None of this would have happened if I had not gained the clarity of my life purpose, to positively impact 20,000 careers and to commit and do the necessary hard work – two years of interviewing, writing and editing.

I am often asked how to network: How does one connect with someone powerful and valuable that one doesn’t yet have a relationship with, or know? ?My answer is always the same:

Earn the right.

Earn the right.

Earn the right.

This is nothing worse than trying to connect with someone you have a very loose or non-existent relationship with, because you are suddenly looking for a new job or want a sale.

The truth is, if it feels false, forced, or ‘salesy’, then don’t do it! You have not done the research, found genuine connection, added value or lead with curiosity. However, when it feels natural and organic to connect, you have probably earned the right to dialogue. Not to sell, but the right to dialogue, to have a conversation, based on mutual benefit.

One of the most genuine connectors I know is Dan Swift , Founder & CEO of Numentum . He shared a valuable insight:

“Do not try to connect with prospects on LinkedIn before you have had a meaningful business interaction. You have not shown any value yet. You have not earned the right. Some may accept your connection requests, but many will feel it is too salesy and invasive.”

(Merriam-Webster). defines networking as

"the exchange of information or services among individuals, groups, or institutions; specifically: the cultivation of productive relationships for employment or business"

In my experience, people are too reluctant to ‘give’ in a relationship; they don’t trust enough so expect others to make the first move when creating a connection, rather than trusting the relationship and allowing it to naturally evolve. This leads to the relationship starting off on a poor footing or perhaps never realising its potential, often people are sceptical, thinking this is too good to be true - where is the catch?

This week I have a challenge for you - the RICE challenge (Relationships, Interactions, Conversations and Environment).

Improve the:

Quality of your Relationships by investing in and trusting the person first.

Are you really committed?

Quality of your Interactions – by listening more proactively, promising not to interrupt.

Are you really listening?

Quality of your Conversations – by asking yourself: Am I understanding the needs of the individual and the meaning of their communication?

Are you hearing the unsaid?

Quality of your Environment – say no to conversations, discussions and invites you don’t want to be at!

Are you able to put these healthy boundaries in place?

Will YOU step up to the Challenge??

Our purpose at Accelerated Career Results is to transform Payments leaders’ mindset, confidence, and results. For them to achieve their potential through the power of life-enhancing connections, shared experiences, and collaborative learning.

We achieve this by unlocking the ‘latent ability’ within talented individuals and teams. If you have found this article valuable, please like, re-share and pass it on to a colleague or to your trusted network whom it could help at this stage of their leadership career.

If you are a decency led leader, don’t hesitate to reach out if you have a challenge and want to work with a trusted partner, to [email protected]