Early End of Year Musings...

Welcome to the Twenty-eighth Edition of The Midlife Hero’s Journey Newsletter

Are you ready to embark on a transformative journey to reconnect with your passion, purpose, and joy?

My passion as a Coach, Facilitator and Writer is helping people who are approaching or at Midlife to reclaim their passion, purpose, joy and confidently create the LIFE they want. My experience over the years has shown that Clarity, Courage and Commitment are key to getting what you really want, but it’s very difficult to do on your own.

This twice monthly newsletter (Second and Fourth week of each month) takes a Spiritual approach to Midlife and Menopause and shares Tips, Tools and Strategies you need in Midlife to Step Out of Your Comfort Zone, Reclaim Your Magnificence and Create the Results You Really Want.

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In This Week's Edition...

The nights are getting longer and longer, the days colder and we naturally turn inward preferring to stay at home in the warm. In this edition of the Midlife Hero’s Journey we reflect on the end-of-year judgements we make about perceived lack of progress and offer an alternative (empowering) perspective . I hope this resonates and helps you with where you are (or have been) on your own Midlife Hero’s Journey.

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This Week’s Quote

“We cannot solve?our?problems with the same thinking we?used when?we created?them." ALBERT EINSTEIN

Early End of Year Musings...

If you’ve been following me for a while then you’ll know that I’m an avid fan of Strictly Come Dancing. This hasn’t been my favourite series but I’m still enjoying it. Next Saturday is the quarter finals and while it coincides with my favourite theme, Musicals Week, it also signals the end of the series and with it, the end of the year.

The nights are getting longer and longer, the days colder and we naturally turn inward preferring to stay at home in the warm (and watch Strictly). We also become reflective as we? look back on the old in preparation for the new. We look back through the list we created earlier in the year (or at the end of last year) and check off what we’ve achieved and the things we didn’t get to – again.

And then we beat ourselves up – again.

And we reiterate the story? we have created for ourselves – again.

An Example

This is what used to happen for me as I tried to ‘give up’ smoking. I would set it as a goal at the beginning of the year, make a few attempts and by the end of the year when I was still smoking, beat myself up for not succeeding and reiterate the story I had been telling myself – that it was too hard.

They say it’s the journey and not the destination. The Hero may be on their journey to get or to achieve? something but the reward is never the physical achievement. The real reward is the growth and expansion that the Hero has gained on their journey. The real reward is the lessons learned. The real reward is how the Hero implements those lessons back in their Ordinary world for the good of everyone around them.

This can be harder for the Midlife Hero who has lost sight of who they are and what they really want. They may feel they’ve lost their sparkle, their joie de vivre, their confidence because their Ordinary world has been built on obligation and compromise, on conforming to what was expected of them.

Does that sound familiar?

Midlife can be a clarion call, inviting the Midlife Hero to wake up to who they were. The call may come in the desire to find a new job or career, it could be in the desire to get to grips with physical and mental wellbeing, it could be the desire to start the hobby that has been put off all these years. It could also be the wish to move away from something that no longer serves.

Perhaps you are there...

You recognise the same desires coming up each year and yet you feel you’ve made little progress because you don’t see the fruits of your labour – yet.

The end of the year is just a milestone for feedback. It’s time to check in on yourself to see how far you’ve got, and if it’s not very far, then the feedback is simply that there is more work to be done. My mistake in the years I tried to stop smoking was that I would come to the end of the year, see it back on my list and judge my Self, usually harshly. All of this was unconscious - I wasn’t telling me off or calling me names – the harshness came in the lowness of mood, the sense of shame each time I bought another pack of twenty or went off for that ‘fag break’ at work. That did not help. I would say that it actually hindered progress for me.

As Einstein says in this week’s quote

?We cannot solve?our?problems with the same thinking we?used when?we created?them.

This means in order to change the results we need to change our thinking, our mindset and our focus. What I learned after I finally stopped smoking was that I had never asked my Self if I actually wanted to give up cigarettes (I clearly didn’t), so to give up wasn’t enough of an endgame for me. I had to understand what I wanted to gain. When I understood that, when I set a ?different focus – good health – I put the cigarettes down and haven’t picked on up since because I then made different choices day by day, moment by moment.

The crux of any goal we set is to understand the outcome we want to achieve, to know what is the ultimate why?

So as you reflect on where you’ve got to with your wants, dreams and aspirations for this year, and as you identify the ones you feel you haven’t made enough progress on ask yourself

• What is the endgame I want?
• Is this the right goal to achieve this endgame?
• What choices have I made to support this?

Then ask yourself

Is there anything I can do to progress things further right now?

If the answer is yes, then do it.

Here's a suggestion if the answer is no:

TAKING YOUR FIRST STEPS TO GETTING THE OUTCOME YOU WANT -

a mini course that guides you to achieve better results by getting clear about:

• what you really want,
• why you want it and
• where you are right now

?so you don’t waste time doing more of what you don’t want.

The course was first run in August and starts on 11th December. CLICK HERE to find out more and sign up.

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What one of the participants said about the course

The pilot course 'Taking the first steps to create the outcome you want' was an eye-opener. Taiwo is a passionate, encouraging and affirming facilitator/trainer. She shared many enlightening models (including her own) and frameworks to guide us along the journey from identifying wants to identifying first steps towards those wants. Daily homework was thoughtfully designed and thought-provoking. I'm sure each individual will value different aspects of the course but I have been particularly challenged by the self-concept and levels of existence. Do give it a go! Anna

What to know more? CLICK HERE

I hope you enjoyed this edition of The Midlife Hero’s Journey Newsletter. ?The next edition will be published on Tuesday 12th December.

Embrace Your Magnificence

Taiwo x