BE WITH EAGLES  LIKE FRIENDS TO FLY HIGH!!!!

BE WITH EAGLES LIKE FRIENDS TO FLY HIGH!!!!

We often associate genuineness with appealing traits, such as strength of character and emotional resilience—and correctly so, as being true to yourself takes confidence, tenacity, and often even bravery. We are attracted to uniqueness and individuality, qualities genuine people usually have in spades.

We tend to value "genuine" people and think poorly of those whom we perceive as being "fake"—but why is that? After all, what motivates "fakeness" is an effort to appear more appealing or impressive, so shouldn’t we find people who care about our opinions more appealing than those who, by definition, do their own thing regardless of what we think?

Well, no, we shouldn’t—and for three basic reasons:

  1. We are much more likely to trust a genuine person than a fake one because we believe those who are true to themselves are also likely to be truer and more honest with us.
  2. We often associate genuineness with appealing traits, such as strength of character and emotional resilience—and correctly so, as being true to yourself takes confidence, tenacity, and often even bravery. 
  3. We are attracted to uniqueness and individuality, qualities genuine people usually have in spades.

Many journeys of self-improvement and self-discovery involve efforts to live a more authentic life. Adopting the following seven habits can help you become a more genuine person—however, balance is important. Overdoing any of these might do more harm than good so be sure to set moderate, not extreme, goals when it comes to working on them.

1. Genuine people speak their mind. This is actually a two-step habit. Genuine people take time to figure out their own opinions and perspectives about things, and they are not shy about sharing their thought-out opinions with others. The manner in which they share their opinions also matters: Genuine people are comfortable presenting their ideas without expecting or needing to convince others they are right. One thing that helps them get in touch with their true opinions and perspectives is...

2. Genuine people respond to internal expectations, not external ones. Genuine people spend time thinking about and exploring their own beliefs, ideals, standards, and expectations because they rely on the answers to these questions to give them direction and purpose in life. Of course, identifying your own ideas and beliefs is not necessarily easy, since they can easily conflict with the beliefs and standards of the families, communities, and cultures in which you were raised. Indeed, being authentic is often associated with being brave because you're then likely to do the following...

3. Genuine people forge their own paths. Being authentic is not just about what you think or say but what you do and how you are in the world. Being guided by an internal compass means not having to follow the conventional or typical routes others take to achieve their goals. Therefore, genuine people search for and discover their own unique way of pursuing their passions and purpose, often forging an entirely new path as they do. The risk of forging a new and unproven path is that not all your efforts will be successful. However...

4. Genuine people are not threatened by failure. The reason most people follow conventional routes is they are supposedly "proven" and "safer," and therefore more likely to yield success. On the other hand, taking the road less (or never) travelled is risky and can lead to failure. Yet, genuine people do so because they are not threatened by the idea of failing. In fact, they view failure as an integral part of their journey, a source of learning, and an enriching experience from which they can grow. Because they find failures instructive rather than threatening...

5. Genuine people can admit their faults. To be true to your feelings and opinions you must first be honest with yourself about your thoughts, beliefs, and behavior—which means confronting the bad along with the good. As such, genuine people are likely to recognize their faults and shortcomings, to accept them, and to take responsibility for their actions as a result. Indeed, their general ability to own their faults, mistakes, and failures extends beyond how they see themselves such that...

6. Genuine people are not judgmental of others. Being honest about their own faults and embracing individuality and differences leads genuine people to be less judgmental and more accepting of the people around them. Their fundamental assumptions about human complexity and their reluctance to view people via the lens of bias or preconceived expectations allows them a purer perspective that usually leads to direct and honest interactions and relationships. And all of the habits listed above stem from one core psychological characteristic of genuine people...

7. Genuine people have solid self-esteem. Having solid self-esteem means having stable self-esteem that is neither too high nor too low. (Narcissists, for example, have high but brittle self-esteem.) As a result, genuine people can tolerate and absorb failure and criticism, admit their faults, and be accepting of others because they are not threatened by imperfection. Indeed, having solid self-esteem means, by definition, that you can absorb both negative and positive feedback and acknowledge aspects of your character that might need work or improvement without diminishing your overall sense of self-worth.

Behaviors of Genuine People

In case you're wondering, genuine means actual, real, sincere, honest. Genuine people are more or less the same on the inside as their behavior is on the outside.

Whether you’re building a business, a network, or friendships, you always want to look for people who are genuine. After all, nobody wants to work or hang out with a phony. On the flip-side, that goes for you, as well. Bet you never considered that. 

In case you're wondering, genuine means actual, real, sincere, honest. Genuine people are more or less the same on the inside as their behavior is on the outside. Unfortunately, it's a tough quality to discern. The problem is that all human interactions are relative. They’re all a function of how we perceive each other through our own subjective lenses. 

Being genuine is also a rare quality. In a world full of phony fads, media hype, virtual personas, positive thinkers, and personal brands – where everyone wants what they don’t have, nobody’s content to be who they are, and, more importantly, nobody’s willing to admit to any of that – it’s becoming more and more rare all the time. 

To help you identify this rare breed -- in yourself, as well -- this is how genuine people behave.

A Truly Genuine Person


Genuine things are true or authentic. When you're talking about people, being genuine has to do with being sincere. This word has to do with things and people that are true. A genuine blonde is a real blonde — no hair dye involved. ... .A genuine friend is a real friend you can trust when the chips are down...We can all agree that being fake is a negative thing — no one wants to feel like they're being played by someone who is just acting, nor does anyone want to be known as someone who doesn't live true to themselves

We can all agree that being fake is a negative thing -- no one wants to feel like they're being played by someone who is just acting, nor does anyone want to be known as someone who doesn’t live true to themselves. But what makes a person truly genuine?

Millennial's in particular, who have matured in the age of social media, struggle to both pin down this personality trait and determine whether or not they possess it. They spend significant amounts of time curating the most share-worthy photos on Instagram, creating a summarized snapshot of their lives on Facebook, and posting descriptions of themselves on online dating websites. And as "real" as those shared moments may be, there is a selectivity involved in designing one's ideal self, rather than exposing all there is to bare.


In 2002, authenticity research pioneers Michael Kernis and Brian Goldman began studying the individual differences of sincere personalities, and defined authenticity as “the unimpeded operation of one’s true or core self in daily enterprise.” In order to assess whether a person is guided by his or her genuine sense of self, one must look past the profiles created and into the collection of thoughts, interactions and behaviors that fill each day. And while science has yet to map a single path to sincerity, there are some shared traits among people who are genuine and authentic.

Here are six signs you live life according to your true self.

1. You have high self-esteem.

"Really, with self-esteem, it’s the ‘Goldilocks’ range: Too much is not good because that’s the narcissism range, that’s the arrogant, prideful range," Winch tells The Huffington Post. "Too little is not good; you want something solid in the middle. So genuine people are those who have solid self-esteem -- it’s solid, it’s consistent, it’s not brittle. And people who have solid self-esteem are much less defensive about things usually. They can feel authentic, they can be authentic, because they’re far less worried about the implications of exposing who they are, because they feel OK about who they are."

Research backs this up: In a 2008 study published in the Journal of Counseling Psychology, U.K.-based researchers explored the "authentic personality" and how other traits correlate with a person's sense of living genuinely. They found that people who expressed a high sense of authenticity also maintained higher levels of self-esteem.

2. You embrace vulnerability.


The psychological idea and societal construct of inner strength vary dramatically. Many cultures place great importance on maintaining defensive walls that hide or minimize personal weaknesses and imperfections, as a means of protecting oneself from harmful or unpleasant experiences. Science, on the other hand, supports using flexible coping mechanisms to face moments of discomfort -- opening oneself up to fears and failures in an attempt to learn and grow from them, rather than shut them out altogether. And it takes an authentic person with a solid foundation of self-esteem to be able to accomplish the latter.

"The stronger your self-esteem, the more able you are to admit that you’re failing, to receive criticism, to be able to receive negative feedback without it making you crumble," Winch says about the importance of maintaining such flexibility. "You can actually take on criticism, negative feedback, something not great about you, something that you don’t love about yourself, and it doesn’t really devastate you. It’s something you can admit, you can hope to work on or just take in, but it doesn’t affect your whole way of thinking about yourself."

3. You share your true thoughts, beliefs and opinions with the world.


Authentic people not only take the time to ponder their perspective on life and the experiences that led them there, but they easily share this "true self" with others around them. This outward expression is consistently characterized as an extroverted behavior in authenticity research. However, in a 2010 study published in the Journal of Personality, Wake Forest University psychologist William Flee-son established that both genuine introverts and extroverts alike feel comfortable sharing their thoughts, opinions and beliefs with the outside world.

“Authenticity is consistently associated with acting highly extroverted, even for those who characterize themselves as introverts,” said Flee son in a statement. “Being flexible with who you are is okay. It is not denying or disrespecting who you are. People are often too rigid about how they are and stick with the comfortable and familiar. Adapting to a situation can make you more true to yourself in some circumstances.”

His research also revealed that being genuine consistently goes hand-in-hand with being emotionally stable and intellectual.

4. You openly give and receive compliments.

Gratitude clearly flows in two directions: sometimes you give, and sometimes you receive. When it comes to the latter, Winch explains in his book Emotional First Aid that people with low self-esteem can sometimes struggle with accepting compliments. That's because they believe those compliments come attached to higher expectations from others, which results in feelings of stress. Those who are authentic and maintain a solid sense of self-esteem, on the other hand, don't view compliments with strings attached.

"You have to be able to see a compliment as just a compliment, and it takes a certain level of authenticity to receive that," Winch explains. "It’s about being able to take in and also give back in a way that’s unfiltered by all these kinds of other agendas."

When it comes to expressing gratitude to others, genuine people follow a similar path of not overthinking it.

"You want to reinforce people," he said. "It’s really merit-based. You’re doing it just because it's merited, and that comes across when you do it in a pure way, when you’re simply delighted that somebody did well and you compliment them."

5. You really listen -- and prefer deep conversations.

Genuine people find it easier to let go of distractions and focus intently in a conversation simply because they are truly interested in what the other person has to say. They aren't constantly checking their smartphone for text messages or letting their mind wander off to the day's to-do list. Everything else falls by the wayside.

According to a 2013 study conducted by psychological scientist Erin Heerey at Bangor University in Wales, others can tell when you are being genuine. The observational study paired strangers getting to know one another and monitored their reactions to any smile that was exchanged -- both genuine and polite. It found that the subjects responded much more quickly to genuine smiles than polite smiles, and viewed the genuine smiles a social reward to be valued.

"When we are authentic people and our self-esteem is strong, we are just much less burdened by agendas and baggage, and we can actually have a conversation that’s about the content of the conversation in a much purer way," adds Winch. "When people are authentic, there’s a certain purity to their interactions and conversations, and the conversations tend to be more interesting in terms of the content. You can get further, you can explore more, and you can discover more because it’s a much richer conversation."

6. You're driven by an inner voice rather than your surroundings.

One of the key components of authenticity is simply (or not so simply) knowing who you are and being comfortable with yourself. It requires taking the time to develop informed ideas about the things you care about, and not blindly adopting them from others around you. It is with this foundation that you are able to live those values -- stand behind them, represent them and feel strongly about them.

"When you have thought through what you think, what you feel, what’s important to you and why it’s important to you, that determines a certain sense of purpose and directive," says Winch. "We all have these operational directives -- we just don’t necessarily articulate them to ourselves. But if we look back on our behavior and examine what we do, why we do it , what we think, why we think it, we can figure out the principles that are driving us."

People who have really looked within to understand why they think and act the way they do are clearer about the principles -- and purposes -- that drive their lives, Winch adds. "It makes them proactive rather than reactive."

Essential Friendship Traits

Some people have an easier time establishing and maintaining friendships than others. And some of us long for closer friendships or try to figure out why an existing or promising relationship fizzled out. In these cases, we may jump first to judge a friend’s behavior, rather than our own. Perhaps we forget that relationships rely on mutual interactions. It is important, them, to examine our own contribution to the dynamics of a friendship. It is only our own behavior that we can change, and there are certain personal characteristics it's essential to cultivate to build healthy, lasting friendships.

How much you agree with each statement?

  1. I am trustworthy.
  2. I am honest with others.
  3. I am generally very dependable.
  4. I am loyal to the people I care about.
  5. I am easily able to trust others.
  6. I experience and express empathy for others.
  7. I am able to be non-judgmental.
  8. I am a good listener.
  9. I am supportive of others in their good times.
  10. I am supportive of others in their bad times.
  11. I am self-confident.
  12. I am usually able to see the humor in life.
  13. I am fun to be around.

These traits fall into three general categories, each representing an essential aspect of relational behavior. If you find that you disagree with many of the statements, you may struggle to develop meaningful, lasting friendships.

Below is a description of how each trait influences relationships, organized by the realm of behavioral expectations in which it falls:

Traits of Integrity

These qualities, represented by the first 5 traits on the list above, are related to core values held by most cultures—trustworthiness, honesty, dependability, loyalty, and, as an interrelated quality, the ability to trust others.

  • Trustworthiness is often the “make or break” element in any interpersonal relationship. Any breach, regardless of perceived magnitude, can devastate a relationship. Trustworthiness is comprised of several components, including honesty, dependability, and loyalty, and while each is important to successful relationships, honesty and dependability have been identified as the most vital in the realm of friendships.
  • Honesty requires that we speak openly from the heart and incorporate objectivity into our words.
  • Being dependable means that friends can count on you to be there when you say you will, to do what you say you will, and to be willing to stand up for friends, especially when they can’t stand up for themselves. If you are as likely to let friends down as come through for them, the relationship often becomes superficial, less engaging, and even resentment-provoking, if it doesn’t end altogether.
  • Loyalty is valued early on in all of our relationships, from the time we make our first friendships. We need friends who won’t spill our secrets to others, gossip about us, or allow others to criticize us.
  • Being able to trust another person involves being comfortable with vulnerability. If you have difficulty sharing your authentic self with a friend, it is doubtful your friend will be easily willing to do this for you.

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Traits of Caring

These qualities, represented by the traits listed as numbers 6 to 10 above, includes empathy, the ability to withhold judgment, effective listening skills, and the ability to offer support in good times and bad. These traits require personal insight, self-discipline, and unconditional positive regard for our friends.

  • Empathy is the ability to understand what is going on with a friend, to recognize how he or she is feeling, and to interact and respond accordingly.
  • The ability to be non-judgmental reflects our ease in accepting a friend’s choices, regardless of how they may differ from our own.
  • Good listening skills are essential to allow the communicating of intimate thoughts, feelings, and experiences. This sharing is a gradual process of give and take that deepens over time.
  • Being supportive of others in their bad times is a defining quality of a good friend, but being supportive of others in their good times is also essential. The saying goes, “Everybody loves a winner,” but for some of us, this just isn’t so. If you have trouble celebrating another’s good fortune and experience envy or even bitterness, this may limit the depth of your friendships.

Traits of Congeniality

This group, representing by the final three traits listed above, includes self-confidence, the ability to see the humor in life, and being fun to be around. This trio of traits has also been associated with overall well-being and happiness in life.

  • Self-confidence is an appealing characteristic in any friend, and may even be contagious. When we are in the company of self-confident individuals, we typically feel our own confidence rise.
  • People who are fun to be around are better company than friends who walk around with a dark cloud hanging over their heads. The former enjoy life, handle challenges in proactive ways, and keep negative experiences in perspective.
  • People who have the ability to see the humor in life help us deal with the curve balls (or spitballs) life tosses at us. We all benefit from friends who are able to keep us from taking life too seriously.

Before You Can Increase Your Friendship Quotient, You Must Admit That the Need Exists

Remember: Everyone brings a different level of the 13 traits to their relationships. However, the very best friends offer a generous helping of this baker’s dozen. Take an honest look at your own behaviors and see if you need to raise your "friendship quotient" to raise the likelihood of maintaining the close connections you desire.

One of the hallmarks of a long-lasting friendship is knowing what makes the other person tick. Genuine friends can sense duress — and thereby assist in making better decisions, Rowney says

Friends push us to be more accepting of ourselves.

One of our greatest faults can be our negative self-criticism, but as Rowney points out, true friends lift us up when we're down. "People feel better about themselves when they have close, supportive and encouraging people in their lives," he explains.


Whether it's feeling inadequate in a job interview or just not liking what's staring back at us in the mirror, our closest friends are the ones who beg to differ when our self-opinion starts getting low. "Real friends naturally boost your self-esteem," he says. "And in turn, helping out a good friend [in this way] can help you feel better about yourself as well."


They call us out when we're in the wrong.

No, not just for argument's sake, but when we're actually wrong. We all have flaws. Real friends identify them in a mindful manner not to be spiteful, but for accountability's sake. "They're able to point out some of the negative things you're doing in addition to the positive," Rowney says. "They really support you on both sides."

This gentle honesty, Rowney elaborates, is what really sets genuine friendships apart from the weaker ones. "If it's a superficial friend or a new friend, they're not going to say anything that may be off-putting," Rowney says. "But if it's a real friend -- someone you truly trust -- they know they can tell you exactly what's on their mind. People who are open and straightforward are some of the most important types of friends to have."

They're present.

The greatest gift any friend could ever give is full attention and awareness -- and true friends make their presence a priority. "A real friend stays present in the moment by paying attention to your needs along with theirs," Rowney says.

One of the ways good friends live in the now? They stash their phones when they're with you. A 2012 study out of the United Kingdom found that even just the presence of a phone has the ability to take away from personal connections -- something your BFF wouldn't let happen.

They really listen.

How many times have you tried to have a conversation with someone, only for that person to turn the topic back to him or herself? Somehow the venting moments and the catch-up sessions aren't quite as fulfilling. Conversations with real friends aren't one-sided.

Being able to have an open, two-way dialogue with someone improves the chances that the relationship is going to be stronger. According to listening expert Paul Sacco, Ph.D., an assistant professor at the University of Maryland School of Social Work, the basic key to a balanced conversation is actively paying attention to the other person. "People who are good listeners validate other people's feelings," Healthy Living. "It shows that what they're saying makes sense."

They support us through adversity.

It's one thing to have friends who provide support during times of success. But genuine friends are there through all of our peaks and valleys -- the grief, the joy, the failures and everything in between. "To be able to know someone enough and to trust them enough to even allow them to support you through tough times is a sign of real friendships," Rowney says. "The people who are in your life like that are about as close to family as you can get."

They keep our stress in check.

One of the hallmarks of a long-lasting friendship is knowing what makes the other person tick. Genuine friends can sense duress -- and thereby assist in making better decisions, Rowney says. And even when we're not looking for advice, their presence alone can calm us. One 2011 study found that just spending time with a best friend can help beat stress.

They keep us humble.


Rowney says that while genuine friends celebrate our every accomplishment, they also remind us of our roots. "Good friends will keep you in check to some degree and not let your head get oversized," he explains. "They knew you before you made it big or achieved any accolades. They know the deep-down, base version of you. So not only will they support you when you succeed, but they remind you [of] where you came from."

They have our backs, even when life gets tricky.

It can be a stomach-churning scenario: You're out with a few co-workers when you see your good friend's significant other flirting with someone else. And while reporting this information may be uncomfortable, Rowney says close friends always step up and take the initiative -- even if it's something the other person may not want to hear. "Supportiveness is crucial in friendships," Rowney explains. "Honesty isn't always an easy thing, but it's important to your bond. Swallowing that pill and being the best friend you can by being open with them always works out better."

They make the friendship a priority.

Marriage, work, kids ... as time goes on, our days start to become more jam-packed, and by extension, we become more unavailable. But real friends don't let life interrupt the relationship. Whether it's carving out some time for a catch-up call or planning a visit, genuine friends make each other a priority.

"One thing that really gets in the way of these bonds is when people don't make time to truly be with their friends," Rowney says. "If you don't purposefully make time to see them, it can really hinder the friendships overall and it's one of the main reasons why friendships fall by the wayside."

They practice forgiveness.

We all make judgment errors from time to time when it comes to our relationships. But as Randy Taran, author and producer of Project Happiness, writes, genuine friendships know how to weather the storm. "When conflicts come up, real friends have the courage to reach out directly rather than gossiping and letting irritations grow," . "Real friends understand, and because they understand they are capable of forgiving."

They make us want to be better people.

Rowney says real friends not only stick with us as we grow, but they also make us want to be better versions of ourselves. Friends aren't just confidants, but role models. Through their example, their kindness and other attributes, genuine friends bring out the best in us -- which is one of the greatest gifts they could ever give..

Take a moment to celebrate your friends both near and far by exploring the eight defining characteristics of what being and having a best friend really means.

  • TELEPATHY. ...
  • HONESTY. ...
  • HUMOR. ...
  • EMPATHY. ...
  • GENEROSITY. ...
  • TRUST. ...
  • ENCOURAGEMENT. ...
  • STEADFASTNESS.
Who would we be without our friends? From an early age, friends teach us the ropes, giving us the building blocks to learn how to give, love and face life’s ups and downs. The United Nations recognizes the importance of friendship and proclaimed July 30 as International Friendship Day, highlighting friendships as a way to bridge differences and bring about more peace in the world. Take a moment to celebrate your friends both near and far by exploring the eight defining characteristics of what being and having a best friend really means. 

1. TELEPATHY

Your best friend has the uncanny ability to read your mind before the words pop out of your mouth. Just by exchanging a glance, you both know exactly what the other is thinking. 

2. HONESTY

Whether you have a piece of broccoli stuck in your teeth or you are about to embark on a major life decision, your best friend is there to give you their real opinion. While sometimes it can seem a bit harsh or they may even disagree with your choices, your best friend won't hide their views – especially if they think it's in your best interest. 

3. HUMOR

Rolling on the floor laughing till your stomach hurts doesn't happen with just anyone. Best friends know exactly what will trigger a belly-aching laugh, and between the personal jokes and shared experiences, your bestie knows how to tickle your funny bone. 

our best friend thinks you're hilarious. [Shutterstock]

4. EMPATHY

Your best friend can actually feel what you are going through - because they have been there before. Or, they simply relate to you on such a deep level that they can profoundly understand what you are experiencing.

5. GENEROSITY

Giving is something that comes naturally between best friends, with each person willing to share what they have with the other. A true friendship has boundaries, but abundance is key. No tabs are kept on who gives and who receives, creating a flow of sharing and caring between you both. 

6. TRUST

Secrets, fears and deep thoughts are just some of the things you freely share with your best friend - because you know that what you say remains in the vault. Your best friend would never use your private information against you or to hurt you in any way.

One of the people you trust most in your life. [Shutterstock]

7. ENCOURAGEMENT

Your bestie thinks that you are awesome and is there to give you a boost when you are feeling low. As your personal cheerleader, your best friend reminds you of how many great things you have to offer the world, always focusing on your positive attributes that make you shine. 

8. STEADFASTNESS

Your best friend has your back! No matter the situation, you know that when you need your friend to be there for you, they are present without fail. As James Taylor and Carole King sing: 

You just call out my name

And you know wherever I am

I'll come running to see you again

Winter, spring, summer or fall

All you have to do is call

And I'll be there

Yes I will!!!!! IT'S ME...,JEMI SUDHAKAR....AWAITING TO HEAR FROM YOU....Tell me your friend ...i will tell who you are...

Jose Vasquez, PMP?

Director of Operations at Pirate Pediatrics | PMP-Certified Global Project Leader | Innovator in Healthcare & Nonprofits | Ex-Special Forces Officer | Expert in Cross-Functional Teams & Process Optimization

7 年

Great article. Thank you.

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