TO EACH OF HIS OWN STORY

Every individual is unique and has his or her own story. No one can write the story for someone else no matter how high he or she is in the corporate world, hierarchy or big. Its time people stopped playing God and crafts someone else’s biography.

Proverb: Every person is entitled to his or her personal preferences and tastes!

By a simple explanation by Jeannette Maw a famous Good vibe Coach: One of the 10 Tenets of Conscious Creation is that we each get to be right.

That means that no matter what I conclude, or what angle I’m seeing things from, I get to have it my way – no matter what.

(Consensus is not required!)

Remembering that principle does us two favors:

1.    I feel less compelled that others agree with me, and I get more freedom in choosing the story I prefer.

2.    He gets to have it his way, and you get to have it yours.

So, what, do you pick?

You have the freedom to choose your story, good, bad or ugly, it is yours to etch and not anyone else’s business. You have the remote control to switch it on or off. No one can take away the powers bestowed upon you.

You have everyone especially in India imposing their ideas, thoughts, and their 2 cents all the time.

People love to tell you that you are wrong!

When someone’s imposing something upon you, they’re trying to remove your choice (and overstepping your boundaries)

Yesterday, I, had my motor mouth neighbor telling me categorically that I should stop looking for a job. So did my friend Rajiv, note, very of the course of my life. It rattled the hell out of me.

I don’t like being imposed upon and I know that I’m not alone in this!

Why do they feel that it is their birth right to do so?

There are 4 ways to react to their imposition:

1.    Accept their point of view and metamorphose into what they imposed, if you do accept that they are right. Become that puttee on the potter’s wheel! Never forget respect will always be misconstrued as Timidity!

2.  Do not accept their point of view and wish to ask them to lay off – Do so very subtly and not get into an argument, because the argument will only drain your positivity. Remember: When you’re dealing with an Imposer, you end up gradually getting drained out by them.

3.  Any situation where your self-esteem and boundaries cannot co-exist with their position is a flush and go situation. Just silently, listen and just FLUSH!

‘Imposers’ dress up their boundary busting behaviour and demands as ‘requests’.

4.    In India most imposers are professionals and are only comfortable imposing on others their point of view. So don’t remind them or tell them that they are imposing cause:

Imposers also have a very annoying habit of crossing the line while claiming that they’re not doing it.

Lesser said about the politics where the crab mentality is strong and two cent available on the principle- damned if you do and damned if you don’t!

Religious bodies have also taken the mantle of transgressing into private lives and maintaining a moral high ground, however, I will refrain from writing more than this for both Politics and Religion.

Now if you are looking for a fight and feel more than belligerent then these are some of the options you have to tell of the Imposer:

1. Get the F*** off my back! (Only, if you have the guts!)
2. Stop nagging me like a housewife (Not to the wife for God’s sake!)
3. Go fly a Kite! (Kinda nice way of pushing a pushover!)
4. You take your opinion and advice and shove it up (Remember: This is not for your Boss unless you have better options!)

Finally, beware the fact that, Only, people who have respect issues impose themselves upon you. This is sheer rubbish!

Question: Who has the remote control to your life? (As said by my good friend, Rekha Pandey)

Trolling on internet has become rampant and the art of road side mugging in stealth, no name or face and this is a major disease and no different from the corporate bully or the imposer. Psychologists call this the online disinhibition effect, in which factors like anonymity, invisibility, a lack of authority and not communicating in real time strip away the mores society spent millennia building. And it's seeping from our smartphones into every aspect of our lives. 

KNOW THE IMPOSERS IN YOUR LIFE!

1. Bosses with OCD – Oh! They love to impose! Why not? They just do not like anything or trust anyone. Even if you change to what he wants he will not be satisfied, ever!
2. Husbands or wives (spouses) – Partners become too familiar with you and your faults and impose their RIGHTS! Remember – Familiarity breeds CONTEMPT!
3. Friends – They have no life of their own without imposing on others. IMPOSITION therefore becomes their Business!
4. Nosy Neighbours – Beware the Bhenji, busybody, Gossip Queens of the area or the uncleji who always dishes advice for free.
5. Nothing better than a successful friend asking you “ what the hell is going on with your life?” and rubs it in the fact that he is doing well.
6. Internet Troll – Need we say, more?

In a nutshell everyone in India has an opinion and it’s free! So , what is the solution to this constant over abundance of free advice/suggestions ? Free your self of them or delete/ignore them completely.

When you give too much credence to other people’s opinions you’re basically telling your true self to shove-off. Your self-esteem is tied to the yo-yo of what other people think of you. When other people approve of you and your decisions? You feel great! When other people disapprove of you? You feel like shit.

You end up becoming a slave to what other people want. Running around trying to please everyone with every decision. Never really tuning into your own needs.

( More on Corporate Bully in forthcoming article)

 Just remember, who holds the remote control of your life?

(S Chakraborty has Multi-Industrial, Multi-Regional and Multinational experience of more than 27 years in Pan India, Middle East ( UAE - Dubai, Kuwait & Bahrain), Pan Africa and Turkey is presently, today, re-engineering HR, dedicated to creating Leaders, back to the basics and setting an all new Performance Culture. Soum, as popularly called is a professional Executive COACH and A Gender Sensitizer.)

#corporatedossier #human resources #moralhighground # Bully #corporatebully