Each day I sleep with the guilt of not making my day productive but the next day I waste it again. I am getting depressed now. What should I do?
Ever since I joined Engineering, Each day, every day for the past 6 years I woke up with the goal to “Own my Day” and ended it with Guilt!
I have been here and I know how it feels. It sucks. You lose confidence in yourself and it isn’t a good feeling to have.
I finally broke free of this barrier after I took a 30-day break from work. Being the founder of a company, a 30-day break was a big decision.
If I couldn’t respect my mind and body, how could I ever create something that can add or create value?
I went home. I was with my parents, experiencing the warmth of love in the purest possible form.
I would help mom cut vegetables, and be amazed at her speed and accuracy with the veggies.
I would barter for a massage with dad. He’d massage my head to save the last strands of hair and I’d massage his feet and back.
I ate amazing food every day. I wish I appreciated home-made food more when I was in school.
I biked across my native village, aimlessly wandering through the streets observing, admiring and smiling.
I made some ridiculous drawings.
During those 30 days, I learned to not be too hard on myself. I learned to love myself more and prioritize my mental and physical well-being.
It’s been 120 days since I came back to Bangalore as a better version of myself.
I do not follow a very rigid routine to match my productivity yet. I do have days when
- I’d wake up late
- I’d miss exercising
- I’d reach office later than I am supposed to
- I’d miss eating healthy
But I learned not to be too hard on myself. If I break a rule, it’s fine. It shouldn’t affect the next thing in the queue.
I started leaving the office early rather than staying up late. I reach the office by 0930 and I am back by 08 pm.
I started giving more time to myself. I realized if I can’t love myself, how can I possibly love anything else I do? How can I love someone else, if I don’t love and respect ME?
It’s okay to have days when you end up doing nothing at all. It’s okay to break a rule. It’s okay.
Just don’t lose trust in you.
Originally Published on Quora by Shashank Shekhar
Security Audit - HITRUST and SOC2
4 年Great one brother ! I feel the same but not much as I am just a 1st year one?? .But still I have that fire to do some thing which can turn my whole bunch of problems and life into calm and peaceful way . Well ! Kudos to you for the great idea and a wonderful startup more power to you :) And I Really loved your father's post I can sense that love , emotion and belief he had on you . Keep doing Great ! ???? (As I read all your's post and here I just want to put all the things together Loved you works ! All the best )
Trauma Specialist, Trainer in Loss, Grief and Trauma, Interfaith Chaplain
5 年When I read your statement about sleeping and waking with guilt, my heart hurt for you. Then I read of your wisdom, Shashank , the 30 day sabbatical at home. May you never forget those lessons and blessings gained in those 30 days. They will nourish and strengthen you for the rest of your life. Don’t forget....
Lead Engineer at HCLTech || Ex-IBMer
5 年Depression is a wrong word used in the question whereas guilt is right most people feel this because they are lazy enough not to do something new(just for 5minutes) ,all the time they want to be at expert level and forgetting the fact everything has a beginning, no one becomes a chain smoker in one day and no one become an expert in any field (I have mentioned a bad habit so that anyone can relate how habits are buit)each and every habbit takes time ,be it good or bad, if someone wanna change something "continuity" is the key ,start it with 5 minutes a day but be consistent and you won't feel the same guilt again.
Campaign Manager @ AU Small Finance Bank | Summer Intern at HT Media | MBA(IB)-IIFT, Batch of 2021-23
5 年We've all been there. This was a much needed advice. Thank you so much for penning it down!
Assistant General Sales Manager of East Indonesia at Singapore Aice Group Holdings
5 年Sometimes, we need to take 'a short break' in our life. Take a short pitstop within our daily routine and appreciate something that we love the most, our family, our hobby, our random thoughts. The purpose is simply to refresh our mind and mental because most of the time we forget to take care of it. By doing it simultaneously, it will enhance our mood and respect our inner-thoughts. So, when did the last time you take a short from your routine?