E-mail Etiquette Lockdown has fundamentally changed the way we engage with one another. But let’s not leave behind the etiquette for email communica

E-mail Etiquette

Lockdown has fundamentally changed the way we engage with one another. There’s a lot written on top tips for using Zoom and Teams. But let’s not leave behind the etiquette for email communication. 

Here are some general guidelines for using email. Let’s all try and follow them!. 

Here are four types of email to avoid:

The Upsetting Emails

We have all worked with colleagues who get a ‘hit’ from sending upsetting emails. You know the type: the ones aimed at provoking a reaction or emotional response, emails that criticise, point score, that make you feel bad about yourself and/or a situation. They like it nothing more if you get angry and spend time writing an email back. It means that you get another email back in return, and on it goes. It saps your energy. It is completely unnecessary. Once I was given this advice: ‘That person likes nothing more than provoking you. Just don’t feed the fire. Ignore it.’

No. That’s the equivalent of being told to ignore the bully in the playground. Yes, they might go away but they will just torment someone else.

Here are the guidelines:

• Emails should be used to share facts and information only
• Don’t send an email that emotionally affects another person unless it is 100% positive feedback
• If you break this rule, ring the person, apologize and discuss the issues

The Angry Emails

This email is written in anger. Emails that start with expressions: ‘I am very disappointed.’ ‘I need to let you know that I am unhappy with you.’ ‘I don’t understand why you did that.’ or ‘In future, you need to know that it is wrong to speak to me like that.’ Emotionally charged emails. Written in the heat of the moment. A finger hovers over the send button for five-ten seconds. We think ‘I’m just going to send it.’

Here are the guidelines:

• Try not to write and send an email when you are feeling angry, upset or anxious.
• Instead write a draft email to get it off your chest, save it in you drafts, and delete it later
• Read emails out loud before you press the send button. If they sound rude when you read them out loud, they almost certainly are.
• Reduce the occasions in which you c.c. other people into emails. For example, you don’t need to tell the world that you are concerned about something or someone.

The Long Winded Emails

These are the emails that go on for ever. There are ‘too much information emails’ where we just zone out. Yet, the more simple and more clearly we describe our thoughts to others, the more chance that we will be understood. 

Practice writing shorter emails:

• Emails should contain as few words as possible – try and halve the number of words you use
• Think about the reader’s perspective not only yours
• Make it easier to see the central point in one email

The All About Me Emails

Words matter. Some emails become all about the sender and themselves, not about others. These are status driven. For example, no one likes others taking credit for another person’s work. Try being generous about others instead. Good managers try and avoid over using the word ‘I, and’ ‘me’ in emails and use ‘we’ as much as possible.

Here are the guidelines:

• Instead of saying ‘I’ when you are ready to take or give credit, try ‘we’,
• By the same token instead of saying ‘we’ when you’re avoiding responsibility, try ‘I’.
• Check your language next time you are emailing your team – does there really need to be so many ‘I’ references?

Let me know what you think and how you get along!