DZUKANI: Online book (one chapter per week) Chapter 7: "How do we feel about all this?"

If you missed chapter six you can find it here...

We are sharing an amazing journey as we work together through this book. 

We have already asked:

1. What is the meaning of life?
2. What really matters?
3. Who we are?
4. How do we see our world?
5. Why we are here?
6. What does the road ahead look like?

In the process, and especially by completing some or all of the many activities, our feelings will have been provoked and tested. Now is the time to take stock.

Activity: checking in with our feelings

The Kübler-Ross model, often referred to as “the change curve” describes five stages of our response to change as “denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Read more about this model on Wikipedia here and note where you believe yourself to be regarding the thoughts we have shared together.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/K%C3%BCbler-Ross_model?wprov=sfti1

A path to the adoption of a new stance

When it comes to making a shift in worldview, I would suggest that a similar but subtly different process might happen involving some or all of the steps from the following sequence:

1. Skepticism
2. Curiosity
3. Caution
4. Exploration
5. Inspiration
6. Integration
7. Adoption
8. Testing
9. Role modelling
10. Teaching

I don’t think it plays out exactly in the sequence described above for everyone and of course, an idea that might influence our worldview might not make it to the end. Clearly not everyone will end up teaching something they believe in. 

An alternative perspective

Notice as well the inherent progression along this path as follows:

1. Research
2. Beliefs
3. Values
4. Behaviour
5. Influence

Let me try and explain how this has played out for me. 

A journey from curiosity to facilitator

We have spoken about beliefs and values in earlier chapters. 

I have conducted significant research on subjects like consciousness, quantum physics, spirituality, human dynamics and so on. Typically, I get an idea, or maybe someone mentions something. People are always telling me I should check out the work of this author, investigate that subject or follow this link. I don’t have time to follow every thread, so I typically click the link for a speed read or find a three minute video on YouTube. If I like what I read or hear, I will read again more thoroughly or find a longer video. I remember one weekend becoming so engrossed in the work of Al Gore that I watched 24 one-hour videos in a weekend. Then I may buy the book. Then I may attend a conference. Then, in exceptional cases, I will undertake a course of study to learn a methodology so I can integrate it into my practice. This was was the case for Barrett Values Centre, the Leadership Circle and Carbon Offsetting.

This process of exploration evolves my beliefs and shifts the values I hold dear to me. This in turn will influence my personal behaviour and if it is something that might be beneficial to others, I will share it and integrate it into my practice in order to influence others in a positive way and facilitate their development.

Activity

Take a moment of reflection to ask whether anything you have read in this book, or learned through the activities has begun to evolve your worldview. Make a list of things you have at least become curious about. For each item noted, how have your feelings moved? You may use the two lists above as a guide if that’s helpful, or your own method.

The power of this exercise is two-fold. 

First, it helps us understand how our behaviour and attitude may have shifted and might affect our life. If we don’t evaluate our position consciously, then we may find ourselves behaving differently without knowing why. We may even find it difficult to explain our behavioural change to others.

Secondly, knowing where we stand emotionally with regard to a list of important subjects allows us also to evaluate our most useful next steps.

Activity

This thought process leads to a natural next step. Return to your list and ask whether any of the subjects you have been considering deserve further action to move you further along the sequences. What is it you need to do to achieve this? Have you learned things you’d like to explore further? Have you learned things you’d like to integrate into your life? Are there things you have learned that might useful to share with others? How can you do this?

Transformation of energy

Whilst we are exploring our feelings, it becomes useful to to understand the nature of what we might be feeling. For example, as we consider our world and its plight, it is not unusual to to feel anger, rage or despair. If this is the case, it’s worth remembering that feelings indicate the presence of energy. They are the result of a reaction between ourselves and our context. Please note that feelings like the ones mentioned here stem from fear of one sort or another and may result in unhelpful states. As creative human beings, we have the opportunity for transformation of this energy from something harmful to something useful. It’s a bit like a raging furnace that, on the face of it seems massively destructive, but we all know this heat can we used in a boiler to create steam, drive a turbine and create electricity.

At this point I’d like to offer in three poems that I wrote in the last couple of years. They describe the journey from feelings that may seem unhelpful to the emergence of hope and opportunity. 

Dark cloud

The day has almost

Almost been too hard to bear

It seems as though the troubles

Have been going nowhere

Has everything I've done to this day been in vain?

Has every effort steeped in love been insane?

Has my best intention been a total illusion?

Has my life just been a ball of confusion?

I think I'm so righteous but what if I'm not?

What if my righteousness is shot?

In the sheer effort of trying to love

I may have caused the greatest pain

And done it again and again

Oh dark cloud of depression

Cover me

Smother me

Even in your hopeless shroud

At least I'm safe from the crowd 

For a while

Maybe a smile

Will break the tired lines on my face

To hide my disgrace

A deeper gloom

Fills the room

It came far too soon

I thought I had more to do 

But strength I have none

My inspiration is long gone

All those dreams of a better world

Seem a long way away

Something to tend to perhaps

Another day

Sinking

Into a stinking

Hole in the ground

Where I'll never be found

Yet I know

The deeper I go

The more certain I am

That, somehow

Some way

Some day

Some day very soon

The angels will kiss my brow

And 

Somehow

The blood in my veins will once again flow

With life-giving love and compassion

Triggering my action

I'll claw at the dirt that buries me

I'll pull myself to ground level

And breath

The inevitable, life enabling, breath

And once again take my place 

In the madding crowd

If I'm allowed

Once again

I'll stoop 

And pick up the gauntlet

And pick a fight with the ills of the world

In the name of love

It is the name of love

And only love 

That has any hope

Any hope of saving

This wretched soul that I am

And it will

Dusk from a train window

Dusk

And the mist is forming on the green fields

Like a quilt of comfort covering the earth

Fitted at the edges no matter how irregular the plot 

The trees and hedgerows take on dark mystical shapes 

Hiding in the winter cold the promise of life to come

Ne’er betraying the secrets there bestowed 

We could be forgiven

For dismissing this scene as barren

Hopeless, beyond recovery

But in just a few short weeks

A glorious discovery 

In places, once dark and gloomy

Will all of life burst forth in glory

Reminding the whole earth

Of creation’s story

Which part of me

I wonder

Is like the dusk?

Tired after the toil of a season

Ready to retire into the darkness

Awaiting renewal and reason

The faint pink streaks in an otherwise mauve-grey sky

Serve as reminders of the day gone by

Of light that once danced joyfully on the pasture

Illuminating creative life at work

Evoking memories

So many memories

Many joyful and some quite sad

Most encouragingly good

With just a sprinkling of bad

Satisfaction

With some frustration 

Golden treasures stained just a little 

At the edges 

With regret

The several faint pink streaks have passed

Leaving just one bright gold crack in the darkening sky

It shines bright despite the darkness

It tells me that even in a world of almost total shadow

There is always delight

Something very bright

To break the dead of night

Where is my gold?

If there was just one reason for me

What would it be? 

Would it be the web of precious relationships 

Formed over a journey of many years

With bonds that thrived despite the tears

Or would it be a lifetime’s toil

In pursuit of something 

Something always just out of reach

Now even the gold has gone 

The sky is totally black

Not even a moon

Or a few shiny stars

Very soon

I’ll rest my inquisition 

And take up my position

For sleep

Resignation to leave this day

As it is - complete

Tomorrow I’ll meet

A new day

It will seem like a new sun rising

But it shouldn’t be surprising 

This is the way

The very cycle of life

Birth and rebirth

Chance to treasure and to forget

Opportunity to start afresh

How lovely the dusk

How powerful the night

And how glorious the new day

Rage

On the surface my spirit doth rage

In my depth there is stillness 

Profound stillness

Knowing

Knowing that this has been the way

Since eternity

The rage is a reminder of the why

Of a need to set the compass

Not to go to war

Rather to explore 

The depth

The stillness

The bliss

To delight in the hope

The calm in the eye of the storm

The light in the darkness

No matter how faint

I will follow

Clear white light of hope

I calmly follow

And as I do

As I walk this lonely path

I notice others 

Treading the same way

Joy 

Joy of the shared path 

Of co-creation

Joy 

Joy of the company of other travellers

Celebration 

Celebration of our power

Celebration of the difference we all make

Peace

Peace after the celebration

Peace

Renewal

Rest until tomorrow’s rage

Activity

Having read these poems, what reflections do you have? Do the feelings described resonate in any way? What aspects of you or your world evoke feelings of despair, hopelessness, anger, rage or any other unhelpful feelings? Make a note of the most poignant ones. 

Reflect for a moment on these feelings and ask the question, where is the hope? For some of the ills of our world, it may seem that any hope is small, any action futile. But this is not so. Around the world, millions of people are feeling the same feelings as we are. They are waiting for the inspiration of the few to ignite the passion of the many.

Consider the action of Swedish schoolgirl, Greta Thunberg, who felt so angry that she sat alone on the steps of the Swedish parliament buildings to strike against climate change. Her actions inspired many young people throughout the world and many of their parents and others to do the same. Every action matters, someone will notice and we may never know the ripples of energy that flow and transform our world. In my experience, they all matter.

Activity

The last activity used poetry to give us a sense of how we can transform our energy in the form of feelings to inspire ourselves and others. This next activity is a big one. It involves a complete stock-take of all the work we have done in all the activities listed in this book so far. 

Go right back the the beginning of chapter one and review all the notes you have made. Devise your own system to annotate your notes indicating how you feel about what you have written. For each note that inspires you, ask the question, “In what way?” Make notes of any actions you need to take. You may wish to take my lead and create notes pages for each year looking ahead. Then, when you decide on an action, you can allocate it to an appropriate year.

Remember to prioritise, don’t try and do everything all at once. But do write it down. I first knew I had to write this book about ten years ago. I thought it would be something I would do when I had retired from my work in leadership development. It was in my notes on my phone for 2025, when I would turn seventy. But then Coronavirus came along and I felt that it was the right time to offer something like this to the world.

Resilience

The changes that humanity is facing today are immense. The pandemic of 2020 is just the tip of the iceberg. In many ways it is masking a much bigger threat, that of climate change and the associated disruption of the commercial, financial and governance systems of our world. 

There will be disasters, whether to do with forest fires, hurricanes, flooding, drought, disease, food shortage, conflict, migration and so on. There will be considerable disagreement between people regarding the ways to tackle or ignore the problems. Just look at the different (and very strong) views that people expressed during the Coronavirus pandemic. There have been violent clashes between those who wanted to keep safe and tackle the pandemic and those who wanted to get on with their lives.

Climate change will be similar in many ways. Hopeful people will give their all to do something constructive and there will be others who simply want to take all to protect their ways of life at the expense of others.

All of this calls for resilience.

Activity

The subject of resilience is very familiar to me and many of my colleagues at Primeast specialise in the subject. However, for this text and your enjoyment, I thought you would enjoy listening to Dr Chris Johnstone, in his TED Talk on the subject. Be warned, there is more poetry and be ready to stand and move!

https://youtu.be/z4kwU6z6ORg

Make notes on what you have learned. And are there actions you need to take in line with Chris Johnstone’s suggestion to keep “your boat afloat”.

Chapter review

1. What are the three most powerful insights you will take away from this chapter?
2. What are the three most powerful questions you will continue to explore?
3. What would you like me to explore with you as I continue to write this book?

I would be delighted to hear from you with your responses to these questions.

In the next chapter, I will be asking the consequential next big question, “How do we travel with others?”