A Dysfunctional Love Story: People & Work

Organizational Citizenship | Leadership | Entrepreneurship

Over the past year & a half, people have been feeling stuck in their careers, relationships & their day to day grind. Everybody -myself included- have had time to reassess their lives & reprioritize on all fronts. With the "Great Resignation” outspreading overseas, reaching unprecedented heights in countries like Saudi Arabia where the number of resignations in Q2 this year reached 177,376 as reported by the Saudi GASTAT. Then there's the crisis of the century; the leadership gap, the emotional calamity found in organizations & the dwindling of Employee Citizenship. Which collectively crushed our mental & physical wellbeing, but also led to exposing the dysfunctions of our workplaces.

With institutions & government systems falling short of their potential in providing powerful & sustainable solutions, today more than ever I'm confident that the fix can only be driven by individuals -with the support of multisectoral bodies to enforce the significant long-term change we need.

Gallup’s “State of the Global Workplace 20-21 Report” Reveals the Areas MENA Employees Suffer From the Most:

38% Anger (vs. 24% Globally), 42.9% Confusion, 25% Stressed family relationship, 35% Sadness (vs. 25% Globally), 53%?More emotionally exhausted than before COVID-19, 38% Insomnia, 75%? More socially isolated than before COVID-19, 24%?Guilt, 38% Burn-out.

70% of employees say their organizations aren't doing enough to prevent or alleviate burnout within the workplace.

53%?of organizations are experiencing greater voluntary turnover than in previous years.

36%?of employees had quit in the past six months without having a new job in hand.

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The World Health Organization defines Mental Health as: 'A state of well-being in which an individual realizes their own abilities, can cope with the normal stresses of life, can work productively & is able to contribute to their community.'

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They're Only Human: CEOs & Founders Aren’t Immune Superheroes

• 49% of CEOs struggle with mental health conditions & say they are mostly:

Feeling overworked | Struggling with fatigue | Suffering from continual stress

• 1 in 3 Startup founders describe their mental health as “Bad”. With the top entrepreneurial stressors being:

55% Raising investment | 33.7% The pandemic | 33.7% Scaling the business

How Often Do Employees Discuss Their Mental Health at Work?

Rarely!

11% Coworker-Same rank

5% Coworker-Higher rank

1% HR

Sadly, 28% Say no one could make them feel better despite efforts.

“This economy must feel like leaping from the frying pan of economic chaos, only to land in the fires of Manager Hell.”

~The Atlantic 2021

30% Of Bosses are Toxic!

36% of millennials & 39% of Gen Zs say they’re discriminated against in their workplaces “all the time” or frequently because of an aspect of their backgrounds, or educational institutions, or their socioeconomic status.

60.3%?of millennials & Gen Zs say they aren’t supported by their line managers. Those are?over?three times?as likely to want to quit but won’t in the current economic situation.

72% of workplace abusers rank higher than the mistreated employee.

61% of which are line managers.

89% of workplace mistreatment is women-on-women.

When Mistreated Employees Spoke Up to An Executive About Their Experiences:

52% weren't believed (Discredited as liars)

18% weren't believed (Assaults sounded too outrageous)

20% were believed (Until the abuser told their version of the story)

10% were believed

As a result,

29% of mistreated employees remain silent about their abusive conduct while only 17% seek formal resolution.

On the other hand, and in fairness; employers cannot be expected to curb toxic conducts when they hear no reports of its occurrence.

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Harry E. Humphreys, Jr. said:

“We should place confidence in our employee. Confidence is the foundation of friendship. If we give it, we'll receive it. Any person in a managerial position, from supervisor to president, who feels that his employee is basically not as good as he is and who suspects his employee is always trying to put something over on him, lacks the necessary qualities for human leadership-to say nothing of human friendship.”

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So, What Does the Boss From Hell Actually Do?

·Creates a negative narrative of your attitude and/or states an opposite perception of your good performance (often using their rank/power) & seeds it with their peers, leaders & CEO.(That's their winning tactic)

·Micromanages you: Stifles potential leadership within the team, allowing low decision latitude & minimal control over work.

·Causes work overload/underload & out of control work pacing when put under pressure. While paying limited attention to those who feel overwhelmed.

·Sets you up to fail: Drowns you in chaotic work & repetitive meetings, deferring you from attending to business priorities.

·Practices ‘positive toxicity’.

·Gives conflicting demands of work & often causes work duplications.

·Gaslights you: Gains power & control over you by undercutting your confidence.

·Devalues & criticizes your achievements, even when they're publicly praised by others.

·Normalizes laying off star employees based on their personal biases & sense of insecurity.

Much of the Harm Inflicted by the Manager From Hell is Triggered by the Traits & Skills of the Victim:

• Independent, autonomous & driven. Technically skilled, open to learn & grow.
• Apolitical: not willing or able to play politics.
• Liked by peers: easy-going, cooperative, principled, good natured, honest, trustful & empathetic.

As a Result, Harmed Employees Have Been Seeking Professional Help:

40% of mistreated employees are believed to suffer adverse health consequences from office misconduct.

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The first responsibility of a professional was spelled out clearly 2500 years ago in the Hippocratic Oath of the Greek Physician:

'Primum Non Nocere' - Above All, Not Knowingly Do Harm..

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Leaders..

The Blinding Anomalies

Peter Drucker on Leadership: “To talk of leadership as the unit key to spirit. Therefore, only too often means neither action nor result. Leadership –whatever a man’s aptitudes, personality or attitudes– requires no genius, only application. There are things to do rather than to talk about. And the right practices should go a long way towards laying the foundation for the right kind of leadership.?For leadership is not magnetic personality, it is not making friends and influencing people – that is salesmanship.??Leadership is the lifting of a man's vision to higher sights, the raising of a man’s performance to a higher standard, the building of a man’s personality beyond its normal limitation.”

Leaders & Leadership In the Eye of Rasha ( singular :| )

I believe, to be a leader is first & foremost to be human. And that entails prioritizing your people, connecting with them, & having the courage to be honest & vulnerable with them. Which -in return- allows them to be human at work too & provides them a sense of purpose & ownership to excel; not because it matters to the boss, but because it matters to them! A leader is observant & knows exactly when, where & how to show up for their team.

Leadership to me is simply refusing idleness. It is a divine sense of responsibility towards the world. It's believing in your ability to create miracles. It’s effective altruism on steroids. Leadership is having the urge to impact the world by enabling & elevating people everywhere -regardless of how big or small your role is. It starts with understanding your behavior -the good, the bad & the ugly- & how it affects those around you (self-awareness). Then it extends towards your ability to identify, attract & motivate distinctive individuals, and creating potential successors & more leaders. (making sure your impact stays long after you're gone).

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Arianna Huffington asked an entrepreneur known for putting the right people into the right enterprises all over the globe: “What do you look for in a candidate?” & he said: “I always ask myself, would I want one of my sons to work under that person?”

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Time For A Reality Check...

Leaders, now more than ever, it is the time to leverage Culture! Unlock your team’s greatest potential, diminish toxic individuals, & build agile healthy businesses!

But first, is your management team ready?

80% of managers say they support the physical & emotional health of their workforce. Only 46% of employees agree.

90% of managers think they are Servant Leaders. Only 10% are.

34% of CEOs say their frontline managers are very good or excellent.

38% of CEOs say their mid-level managers quality is high.

30% of CEOs say their senior managers are effective.

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Agility is moving to a flatter hierarchy & empowering employees at all levels to make decisions, forcing leaders to find new ways to influence & manage.

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A Cheat Sheet for CEOs & Founders

·It’s OK to feel overwhelmed. It's OK to not have all the answers. It is OK to fall apart.

·Understand the power of believing in your team & get out of their way: When you believe in someone, you’re telling them: “You matter, I respect you, I trust you to do the right thing” that instills confidence & builds trust. Now, watch from afar as the magic manifests.

·Realize your tolerance factor.

· Stay sentiment. Always!

As For Stress Relieving & Blowing Off Steam:

· Find a hobby that YOU enjoy.

· Workout -even if it requires discipline- hit the GYM, lift those dumbbells, get a boxing punching bag at home, buy that bike you've been dodging, go for a walk alone or with a friend. Choose whatever floats your boat, just stay active.

·?Keep a trusted friend close: It gets lonely, I know... A good friend who KNOWS YOU knows you, has your best interest at heart. They'll challenge your thoughts, give you straight honest feedback, they'll always have your back & fight your battles. They are your very own personal shrink! Grab hold of 'em!

·?Get a real shrink.

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“It is not so much our friends’ help that helps, as the confidence of their help.” ~Harry E. Humphreys Jr.

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A. A Cheat Sheet for CEOs & Founders: Coaching the Coach

60% of CEOs want external* leadership coaching (*to ensure objectivity).

85% of CEOs undergo leadership assessments, but only 23% receive honest needed feedback!

More than anything, CEOs want extra coaching & feedback. So here are my suggestions for you:

• Set up a “shadow board” A group of non-executive employees who'll work with you on strategic initiatives, which allows you to leverage the younger groups’ insights & diversify executives’ perspectives.
• On-the-job Collaborative Mentorship: Shadowed by a consultant throughout the day.
• Get an Executive Life Coach: To help you evolve. (shoot me a message for referrals).

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When someone joins a group, they will either make it better or worse.?Attitudes & energies are contagious, the good & the bad.

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B. A Cheat Sheet for CEOs & Founders: You Are Who You Hire

·Don’t view hiring solely through external recruiting; hire from within to fill critical gaps.

·Be extremely thorough as to who you hire for the critical positions: They’re the backbone of your organization. Interview them yourself. (Prioritize SOFT SKILLS) most execs lack'em.

·Look at the person as a whole: Incorporate your core values in the interviewing & hiring process.

·Look at the candidate's ability to learn(skill) not what they already know how to do (talent).

·Hire for Energetic Intelligence! As described by an employee: “My boss energized me because she loved her job & was in general a very happy person.?She always came in with a smile on her face which created a positive atmosphere.” Hire magical people! 'When energy shifts, emotions change" They're the ones who’ll choose you every time! They’re the loyalists who’ll always stay. They buoy you up, lift your spirits, give off positive energy & create genuine connections. Your sustainability depends on having them on your team. (if they happen to wear a crown, that’s even better!)

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CEO Margaret Heffernan advises: “Don’t hire people who can’t?name anyone who ever helped them.” You can figure that out by simply?asking who has helped most in a candidate’s career. “If they can’t remember anyone, that’s a pretty bad sign.”

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C. A Cheat Sheet for CEOs & Founders: Holy Grail of Honest CEO-CHRO Alignment

Companies with stronger CEO & CHRO alignment have 36% less leaders who intend to leave the organization within a year compared to those without it.

When asked about the biggest challenge they face today, CEOs named one above all others: Talent! Which means YOU need to leverage your HR strategically to align your business needs with talent needs.

Only 47% of CEOs & CHROs are aligned on the quality of the organization’s management team from a talent & business aspect!

Dearest CEOs,

• Be very very & very meticulous when hiring a CHRO.
• Your relationship with the CHRO sets the tone for the entire organization.
• To measure CEO-CHRO honest alignment, talk to the people & observe your culture.
• A disparity in alignment poses threat to the business & drives away talent.

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"We fall for organizations that reward our efforts not only with good benefit packages, but also with a better version of ourselves." ~Gianpiero Petriglieri

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???????????D. A Cheat Sheet for CEOs & Founders: Your Secret Sauce is Your 'Culture'!

1.The true underlying drivers for creating Employee Citizenship:

Job fit | Manager fit | Organizational fit | Team fit .. Then, consolidate & alter your teams accordingly..

2. Now, take some time to think deeply about the following:

• Learn & hone your ability to read a room (understand people's micro expressions).
• Foster a culture of reverse & team mentoring & coaching.
• Redefine the metrics that matter to you most: Complement the usual business metrics with people metrics—namely employee engagement data—it's critical today.
• Have clear & continuous performance conversations to address issues.
• Re-evaluate job needs & reorganize priorities: Are you tracking representation & outcomes of your hiring & promotion approach?
• Do you have the right people in the right places? Adopt a flatter hierarchy, assess behavioral fit, leverage unique strengths, then make meaningful structural changes & quickly address leadership gaps. Be clear about governance & decision making. (Do you have a Delegation of Authority matrix?)

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“Today’s Business Environment Is Too Unpredictable to Only Rely On?Century-Old ‘Lines & Boxes’.” ~ Korn Ferry

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• The pandemic has magnified your senior managers' & culture weaknesses. Increase senior team's awareness of their own behavioral biases & tendencies.
• Maximize the true value of an employee: Empower employees to be leaders in their roles by creating opportunities for them to grow & develop leadership capacity.
• How are you building a sense of community? Trust me, Charades night with the team doesn’t cut it. Build human bonds, create unique experiences.
• Prioritize the team’s wellbeing: Raise awareness on mental health & support your team across all regions in which you operate.

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Be that CEO who gets off his chair, runs out of his office all the way to the parking lot to check up on an employee who was having a bad day.

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• Are your benefits aligned with employees’ priorities? Just ask them what they want! Do it fast. Do it in-house, do it now. Ignore all your HR's BS.
• Are you sheltering toxic leaders in your organization? Look for red flags & listen to what’s unspoken.
• Do employees feel safe enough at work to speak up about their toxic experiences?
• How you treat people is what ultimately matters: Control emotional outbursts, respect boundaries, put others ahead of yourself & give them the benefit of the doubt. Harness your reputation, finesse it & curate it.
• Live your company Values & Principles everyday: Start with your senior team.
• Be honest, consistent & avoid making exceptions: Align your words & actions.

3. Do not underestimate the value of being a “Best Place to Work”!

A study conducted by DDI Inc., defines the key differences in companies that achieve this designation:

• Dramatically increases the company’s ability to attract & retain top talents.
• Reflects the way their leaders behave on a daily basis.
• Best Places to Work organizations are 1.8 X as likely to be among the top 10% financial performers compared to peers.

E. A Cheat Sheet for CEOs & Founders: Develop Your Leadership Team

The effectiveness of your leadership team doubles from 25% without training to 50% with training.

To help your organization thrive amidst the current rapid change & to accelerate leadership transitions, you're accountable for better executive development:

1. Train your management teams on how to manage change.
2. Predict strong leaders with analytics & invest in their development.
3. Identify the new skills & behaviors needed, then invest in their development.
4. Leadership assessment & feedback programs. To identify skills gap— To allow fair processes for leadership promotions.
5. Customized technical & soft skills programs to bridge skills gap.
6. Internal coaching. Peer & team reverse mentorship. If they aren’t getting the coaching they need from their managers, don’t blame them for sucking!

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74% of senior managers believe they’ve been helping their employees learn the skills needed to work in a new way. Only 38 % of employees agree.

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F. A Cheat Sheet for CEOs & Founders: Your Call to Action

Kickoff the new week with an unscheduled, unscripted, improvised conversation with your team. Ask them what's going on? How they're doing? What works best for them? What could be done better? THEN go do something about it, make it happen.

It’s terrifying, I know! But remember, great outcomes are always preceded by great discomfort. Be ok with being uncomfortable & lead anyway. Also, you can always use & abuse a stress ball.

Until Death Do Us Part..

Can Happily Ever After Exist In A Job?

Ever been truly madly deeply in love with your job? the work you do & the people you do it with? Have you fallen head over heels with who you’ve become in that job? Do you feel successful when your organization is thriving? & lose sleep when it's struggling? BEEN THERE DONE THAT!

Thanks to Gianpiero Petriglieri, this emotional connection with our jobs has a name now, It’s called “Identification”.

And Just Like In Relationships, This Love Story With Our Jobs Can Take Either of These Routes:

1-????Evolve into enduring love: When its aligning with your calling. & your passion is turning into controlled devotion. Most importantly, its when you fully realize that no job will ever love you back no matter how much you put of yourself into it.

2-????Become toxic & dysfunctional: You give a lot & rarely get what you need. You’re subject to convoluted mind games, often having to defend yourself, & you’re drained physically & mentally. You feel captive as you watch your magic loudly fade away. That, my dear is your cue to LEAVE. It’s ok…

Save Your Tears For Another Day...

“Leaving a job that has made you who you are — even if it has shrunk, you have outgrown it, or both — can't be quick & easy. And you shouldn’t try to make it so. It would be an insult & a waste of learning.?Take time to say goodbye to people & spaces, even to things.?Acknowledge the last time you do a task, attend the All-hands meeting, or look out a certain window. If there's a party, make it full of stories. Let sadness be there alongside celebration. When people congratulate you, let them know that condolences might be in order. Feeling sad might make you wonder if you're making a mistake. It could be; you must consider that. But maybe it just means that you've been doing it right all along"

"Let your job teach you one last thing: To savor loss. You will need it again. It’s not enough to be able to love our jobs. We must also learn to leave them. And if loving well is hard, leaving well is harder still!

While you say your heartfelt goodbyes, remember that when you leave a beloved job there is no need to pack light. Take all you can with you, Let the people you want to keep in your working life know that your relationship goes on, & might even develop in new ways. If you already know what those ways might be, it will make both you & them feel good to say it out loud."

Finally,

"Turn to the organization. You might have chosen to leave or were forced to, but you can still keep the habits & values that you learned there. That’s the beauty of identification — you do not have to give it back like your laptop & badge. Many people cherish their time at organizations that they left long ago, & remain loyal to them, because those places helped them discover who they were, what they could do, & where they could go next.

Sometimes it is necessary to leave a job or an organization in order to love our work better. Once we can do that, love is no longer a necessity but a joy. We are more likely to set firm boundaries, which makes it easier to get close to others & to our work without giving ourselves away. We can really commit, because we are not captive. I don’t think it’s worth loving a job, or an organization. Let me repeat it: they will not love you back. But if a job, or an organization, helps you find work & people worth loving, then it has been good, & it is worth honoring, both while you are there & after you are gone.”

~Gianpiero Petriglieri, Associate professor of organizational behavior at INSEAD.

Please refer to my article on Dysfunctional Workplaces, Toxic Colleagues & Bullies:

https://www.dhirubhai.net/feed/update/urn:li:activity:6707399789115383808/

Endnote        

• The State of Mental Health Among Entrepreneurs in MENA: www.wamda.com/research/impact-covid-19-state-mental-health-wellbeing-entrepreneurs-mena
• Global Emotions Report - Gallup
• State of the Global Workplace Report - Gallup
• This time it’s personal: Shaping the ‘new possible’ through employee experience | McKinsey
• How to Stop Your Job From Becoming Your Identity - The Atlantic
• Fortune | Deloitte CEO Survey: Summer 2021 Highlights
• Korn Ferry: Is your Organization Future Fit? Report, October 2021
• People With Disagreeable Personalities: https://www.pnas.org/cgi/doi/10.1073/pnas.2005088117
• Working conditions in a global perspective: A Joint ILO–Eurofound Report
• Mental Health & Work: https://www.ilo.org/wcmsp5/groups/public/@ed_emp/@ifp_skills/documents/publication/wcms_108152.pdf
• Closing the Leadership Gap with Jeff Nischwitz - Session
• Entrepreneurs & Mental Health: https://toolkit.techstars.com/entrepreneurship-mental-health-resources
• www.workplacebullying.org
• The Other COVID 19 Crisis, Mental Health: https://www.qualtrics.com/blog/confronting-mental-health/
• Job Satisfaction for Millennials: Statistics and Analysis: https://www.careerizma.com/blog/job-satisfaction-millennials-statistics-analysis/
• Empathy, The Most Important Leadership Skill: https://www.forbes.com/sites/tracybrower/2021/09/19/empathy-is-the-most-important-leadership-skill-according-to-research/?sh=55aeb4fe3dc5
• Getting real about hybrid work | McKinsey
• Gartner: Insights on Employees' Digital Age EVP Preferences Report
• HBR: Why Good Leaders Make Bad Decisions Report