Dysfunction Junction

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“When a business is experiencing dysfunction, it often has a lot to do with internal processes and internal systems. And when we put in place new internal processes and new internal systems based on clear objectives and a clear value-add strategy, the business transitions from dysfunction to effectiveness.” - Hendrith Smith Jr.

?As I sit here pecking away on my desktop, feeling like an overwrought rooster scratching for chicken dough, I find?I am stalled, but?anyone who has ever written can share stories of writer’s block, or what I refer to as writer’s drift.? I, at times,?drift from the topic I had begun to write about and recall unrelated memories and events; some good and some not so good.

It is fortunate that I am often helped by readers of my articles or book “I Broke the Code, So Can You”! A Story of One Man’s Rise from Obscurity to a Place of Prominence in the Cleaning & Restoration Industry.

Every now and then readers will call or drop me an email either stating that they received some value from my writing, or that my sometimes-abstract musings made absolutely no sense to them, with a plea for further explanation of the subject matter. Either way, I always look forward to receiving comments both positive and not so positive. Taken together, they are all a simple acknowledgement of my work and for that I am grateful.

One such person is Tommy of Scranton, Pennsylvania.?“Ivan I really enjoy your articles and unique writing style and find them beneficial, but I would really like to know more of your back story in your writing and business success, signed Tommy.”

When I replied to Tommy thanking him for the kind and generous words, I also asked Tommy a question that I ask all entrepreneurs across all business lines. So, Tommy, how's business? Tommy said he is at a crucial period in his nine-year restoration business journey and on the fence regarding whether it’s time for him to jump out of the industry, or to push onward and upward letting the chips fall where they may.?

Like many others he is finding it very difficult to find and retain good employees and has been going sideways with TPA Programs, his customer base is dwindling, and his family life is becoming more strained by the day - like a snowball headed for hell. Those were Tommy’s words.

Tommy could be Bill from Syracuse or Johnny from Baton Rouge, Karen of Milwaukee, or Sue of Flagstaff Arizona, or quite possibly it could be you.

So, Tommy from Scranton Pennsylvania, this one's for you and for any other restorer that wants the same thing from business that we all want. Success, security, financial freedom and a legacy for the next generation of our children and grandchildren.

I was fortunate to have been born into a family that believed in challenging work and guided their lives with a moral compass. Unfortunately, the cards were stacked against me as I entered the world of business. I had no college education or formal training and there were no entrepreneurs in my lineage on either side, unless of course you count Uncle Grover’s short lived cattle rustling operation in Cerci Arkansas as a legitimate enterprise.?

As a kid, I vividly remember feeling sorry for my childhood friends as they all were spawned from a dysfunctional family. It was always the same pattern. Alcoholic, abusive, and racist parents, homophobic psychopaths, dead beat dads, to addicted siblings and on and on. Those sorry people!

I don’t expect the readers, many of whom come from a dysfunctional background, to understand the mind of a man who came from a perfect family in every way. My pals whose dads would play catch with them after school, take them to ball games, fishing, hunting, go to school events and the like, had no clue that they were living in a dysfunctional family unit, but I knew that no matter how bad their situation was, I could offer little help other than to be a friend.

There were many times I would beg my dad to play catch with me or teach me how to fish or hunt like my pals Dads did with them. He would always reply; hunting and fishing are for red heads and girls with flabby thighs. That was his answer to most questions ever asked. On the positive side Dad was an encourager.

Anytime my friends would come over to the house Dad would brag about them while in my presence. An example: Steve you are smarter than Ivan is, or Billy you are far better at sports than Ivan is. I did not realize it at the time, but Dad was helping to build up the confidence of my dysfunctional friends. One memorable statement was the time when I told him I had my first six figure year and his reply was; you are too dumb to be a businessman, you should get a regular job like all your friends. I did not realize at the time that he was trying to teach me to encourage real businessmen while I should have been working a regular job.

Mark Twain is quoted concerning his birth in Florida, Missouri in 1835 that “the village contained a hundred people, and I?increased the population by 1 percent.”? I am uncertain as to the impact of my birth, but, like Twain, I am from a small town and, like Twain, I too had an early connection with the Mississippi.? I was born into a family which totaled seven children. Our father was a Captain on the Mississippi River and was gone, if one were to do a rough estimate, about half of our lives as he worked 30 to 40 days on and off. Mom managed the household and there was no doubt who was in charge.?

After my four-year stint in the Navy, I followed in Dad’s footsteps and worked the river for six and a half years. Sometimes on the upper river from St. Louis to St. Paul Minnesota, other times I worked the lower Mississippi from St. Louis Missouri to New Orleans Louisiana. Nepotism is grossly underrated.?

Our parents served as models of challenging work and as cardinal points on the moral compass. Whereas mom would address our religious upbringing and keep us on track to do good in school and mind our social behavior, our dad could be an example of what one should avoid if you wished to meet mom’s expectations.?

This is best illustrated by recalling that during the heyday of C-B radios, Dad had a call sign given because of his work on the river of “Barge hopper” as he was required to “hop barges” in his work with tows. So, when he was home, he would go for respite to the local bar, or, as mom called it, the office. On one occasion he was at the office when we kids were at home on the C-B, and someone was trying to reach “Barge Hopper.”? Being the clever scamps we were, we responded that “Bar-Hopper” was at the office. I do not think the person realized we said bar rather than barge. In any case, the point is that dad was one hundred and eighty degrees from our mom on the moral compass. Also, remember, your children are watching!

The refusal by my father to hunt, fish or play catch, or ever attend school functions was a challenge I overcame mentally. I knew that he was different from other fathers because of his job, and I realized he had to go to the office when he was home. This challenge of his not pandering to my childhood needs forced me to find ways to entertain myself and find solutions to my own problems as a young man. I was my own Romulus and would drive on with confidence in my ability to do whatever I wanted to succeed.

It is primarily due to the dysfunction in my family that I was forced to use my instincts?to formulate an escape plan. I started thinking about running a business. I thought of types of businesses and the necessary things that must be in place to succeed. This thinking, years after my dysfunctional family experience, was the junction of my old way of thinking with my new thinking and confidence. My Dysfunction Junction.??It was my Buddhist moment of declaring - I am Awake.?

My dad was a smart man and could have achieved anything he set his mind to, but he responded in a manner different to his dysfunctional environment than I had. His influencers included his mom and his stepdad,?Mary and Birch Van Gogh and elder brother Grover the cattle thief.?

Mary was an old woman who had a terrible speech impediment; making it difficult for her to pronounce the letters “Y” and “W” and to adequately enunciate her words.? The result was that her speech was often unintelligible. Grandma spoke less than one hundred words to me throughout my childhood, yet I was considered her favorite.?

When we would arrive at their home she would immediately embrace me and ask – “are roo my roung boy?”? What’s a kid to say as he is being embraced by an old woman that smells like soft boiled eggs who?expresses such affection while rubbing her whiskers into his boyish freckled face?

There was a similar display of affection when mom would direct grandma’s attention to my siblings with directions to give a hug goodbye. They each got away after the ritual hug and then, once more, grandma would rub my face across her whiskered face and ask “are roo my roung boy?” I felt like I wanted to flee and scream at her “rut is rong rith roo?” The only good thing about grandma was that she taught me how to french kiss.? I digress.

Like Grandma, Grandpa Birch was a man of few words. To my best recollection other than saying Burrrr every time we passed by his chair he was always sitting in, he said nothing else as he stared out of the front window which overlooked the rolling hills of his five-hundred-acre farm.

He did seem to take pleasure in catching us kids as we snuck up behind his chair to get a closer look and if lucky enough, touch the nub on the left side of his head as it was missing an ear, only to scurry off when he would turn around and say Burr, burr.

Family folklore claimed that his ear was lopped off by a farm implement during harvest season, others believed it was a genetic defect since his father, a world-famous artist was also missing an ear, go figure.

I have offered a brief glimpse as to the dysfunction I witnessed outside and inside my family and I do expect the readers, many of whom come from a dysfunctional background, to understand that such dysfunction is not crippling and may serve to give us advantages in our future efforts which places us at a distinct advantage. People who may not have honed their thinking based upon the perceived existence of dysfunction may be less resilient in challenging times.???

My background only serves to illustrate that not all dysfunctions are the same and we each must assess to achieve success in anything we pursue.?Most entrepreneurs have many areas of dysfunction that if not put into check can be debilitating.?

The moral of the story - never, ever be unwilling to change!

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