The dynamic of relationships

A while back I met a lady called Sharmadean Reid. She came into a business offsite I was running to speak to the audience about her journey to where she is today and what’s next for her.

If you don’t know who she is, you will soon. If you do, then I don’t need explain. But I’d encourage you to check her out.

I’ve always believed that you can and should always be open to learn new things from a variety of sources. You just never know where that next ‘lightbulb’ moment is coming from.

Well, in that meeting, just 60 minutes, I had multiple lightbulb moments. In fact I had that many I could have lit up a small town.

Let me share one with you.

Sharmadean spoke about working in the fashion industry and how she knew from a very young age exactly what her path looked like. The industry is tough, but advice says that the friendships you build will determine your success. Just to make as many as possible, some genuine, some false, some just because they will open doors. You wouldn’t want to hang around with them, doesn't matter, but they will determine success or disappearing into the background.

Imagine being 23 and just coming in. Remember friendships mean success. Go find some.

Here’s where this incredible young lady made a decision that, in my opinion, determined where she finds herself today.

“I knew immediately what I wanted to do and what I didn’t want to do. Who I wanted to be with and who I didn’t want to be with. I knew instantly that this would determine my career, my success. I chose in those moments to do things that made me feel great, to be with those that made me feel great. Why would I put myself in situations where I feel less than that?”

Now, get ready for the lightbulb.

“The dynamic of any relationship determines the results that you get. So if you want to succeed, if you want to get where you have planned to be, then make sure you can manage the dynamic. Don’t allow others to manage it for you.”

Simple. Obvious. But how many of us do it? That’s the message here. Sharmandean choses to do it, she lives by it, it’s one of the many things that drive her.

Try this;

Think about all of the relationships you have and recognise where the dynamic is. It won’t take you long, but could have a fundamental impact on your future, your success, your quality of life. Note who the dynamic is with and start to re-address the balance.

Find a balance that is right for you, start with that. This is not about being selfish, treading on people or leaving behind a trail of dead bodies. This about making sure that you control what you want to achieve, the feelings that you want, what you want to be famous for.

Or to put it in Sharmadeans words, “It allows me to spread my infamy across the world.”

Lightbulb.