The dying art of listening

One of the most precious art of human kind- the art of active listening is in a terminal decline. In the last decade I sense a dramatic increase in restlessness and self-induced distractions. Today it is very common to see people fiddling with a phone, looking into their laptops or just staring into empty space even while they are engaged in very serious pursuits. Such sights are very common be it a class room, a discussion, training programs, meetings, or just one on one discussions.

The sight is depressing familiar. A group is involved in a very intense discussion and yet but for a few the vast majority start peeking into their phone, check their messages or just look into their phones to see if something has happened. The distraction over a period of time has unfortunately hardened into a habit.

The end result is a dramatic decline in listening. If one does not pay attention to a group or to other person, one is missing a vast amount of reality around us. By doing so , we are probably limiting our awareness, focus and attention to as little as 10%. The end result is a loss of real experiences in life and a further onset of monotony and automated set of behaviours.

At a fundamental level such behaviour smacks of profound disrespect to people around us and ourselves. If we do not respect the reality around us , how can we expect respect in return. If take ourselves and people around us in a casual manner , the same treatment will be bestowed on us. At one level, this problem is endemic and forms a part of a larger problem – Superficial, casual and non serious interaction with the world around us.  All this has resulted in a decline of intense and enriching experiences and has further compounded the problem of routine, monotony, boredom, depression and loss of meaning and purpose. We just need a small trigger or change to turnaround the situation, and Active listening can bring about that shift in humanity.

Active as opposed to passive listening can dissolve barriers, break belief systems and create strong bonds amongst all the participants involved in the listening process. The very act of listening can transform the person who is talking. It creates a feeling of being understood and enhances levels of compassion and empathy.

Active listening is also a spiritual process, wherein as one peers into the other’s soul, one merges into the other person. The listener not only hears what is being said but also becomes aware of the unsaid, the feelings, the motivation and everything about the other person. The response from the listener is then most appropriate to the situation and creates maximum impact.

If only we can pay respect to every moment of our interaction by setting aside whatever we are doing and focusing on the other person, it can change us in untold ways and transform all those around us. Just imagine- Active listening can be a path to human compassion and spiritual enlightenment.