The Dying Art Of Conversation

People don't talk any more.

Sorry, let me rephrase that... many people don't KNOW HOW to talk anymore.

This is a HUGE problem.

It's also going to get much MUCH bigger...

We don't make polite conversation, we GADGET in public.

Have you ever watched a group of teenagers or pre-teens sitting around planning mischief, swapping Justin Bieber stories or sharing clothing tips?

No?

That's because they don't do it anymore.

They sit in a group huddle within talking distance and disappear into their mobile device only re-appearing when food is required, wifi passwords are renewed or batteries need charging.

So, why do we need to talk?

Okay...

Let me explain (as in 'talking')...

Well as a speaker trainer, a massive part of my work is getting my clients to overcome their fear of public speaking by ignoring an audience's size and 'just talking to them' like you were holding a 'normal conversation'.

When did YOU start learning to hold a normal conversation?

99.99999% of us did so in the school playground.

A huge part of who you are was learned by the 'daily profit and loss' games of relationships and human capital in the playground.

If our personalities are 50% nature and 50% nurture it means that despite or genetics, a massive part of what we will grow up to be in terms of our career, our personality, our relationships and our happiness were learned by trial and error at school and during breaks.

Of course, it mattered how we interacted during assignments, classwork and tests but most of those dynamics and the impact they had on our classroom pecking order were easily readjusted at lunchtime, when the gloves came off and interpersonal dynamics became the true currency.

In layman's terms - bitching, chilling, playing and fighting.

Do you remember the coolest and most popular kid in your class?

How often did they get top marks on all tests?

Very rarely?

BUT nobody cared because they had clout.

Their personality combined with their physical looks, sporting prowess and sense of humour easily trumped the class nerd in terms of power.

Remember this very interesting definition of power...

The most powerful person in any group is able to get on with more people than anybody else, they are also the most flexible in terms of outlook and they are more interested in others lives and opinions than anybody else. That true sense of power can be illustrated when a person is able to call in personal favours at zero charge based on the emotional bank account she has already built up with you.

The gene pool demands it.

How many times have you seen an ugly guy with an incredible looking partner?

It's not by accident.

Partners are attracted by the following things...

'How much more likely are our babies to survive if I mated with you?'

Ummmm... that's one thing.

AND it's completely true.

It's genetically coded into our DNA.

That means we are subconsciously indexing everyone to see who will make the best fit. We even do this after we marry someone else, to see if we still have the right choice.

We stare at their eyes, their toilet parts and their overall shape then we mentally catalogue them and forget about them.

It's called 'indexing' NOT perving!!!

It's built in.

So if we choose a partner then they have the right emotional currency to survive and lead the pack - survival of the fittest.

We call that:

1. Looks.
2. Personality.
3. Sports achievement.
4. Fighting prowess.
5. Social status.
6. Financial power.
7. Influence on peers.
8. Ability to entertain and engage others.
9. Sense of humour.
10. Family background.

The higher your score on any of the above the more likely you are to have a long term relationship with another high achiever.

If you independently grade any couple and score them out of 10 for attractiveness (EG any and all of the above) they will be within one point of each other every single time.

Test it out today.

Attractiveness is a very special cocktail combination of experience, natural ability and learned behaviour.

That's why we love celebrities.

They are only people who learned how to do this stuff better than we did.

AND - it can be learned.

ALL OF IT.

Just NOT whilst you are buried in your handset, checking your number of social media platform 'likes' and waiting for an update to your favourite game to complete downloading.

But at least we will bring the population down.

Millennials don't want houses, cars, marriages or kids.

This is already well documented.

So don't blame me for mentioning it.

They don't even want a job to last too long.

Fair enough.

They want experiences which guarantee they stay young, free and single forever.

Imagine dancing through your career without a care.

Yeah?

Leave baby making to the unemployed, the illiterate and the casual labourers.

Now at least they CAN talk to each other.

They can discuss 'Where did all the smart people go?'

https://davecraneglobal.com/speaker-training/

Dave Crane recently won the Al Arouwad/ MTV award as the best motivational speaker in the MENA region. He is also an award-winning broadcaster, NLP hypnotherapist, author and speaker coach. In his career, he’s run radio stations, coached many of the world’s favourite brands and worked alongside some of the biggest names in entertainment and sports.

Connect with Dave directly and watch his online motivational TV show ‘Turbo Charge Your Brand TV’ for business tips and interviews with Jack Canfield, Brian Tracy and Dr John Grey.

Find out about Dave’s Comedy Stage Hypnosis Show too.