Duty has its own reward expectation

Expecting life to always turn out the way you want is guaranteed to lead to disappointment because life will not always turn out the way you want it to.

And when those unfulfilled expectations involve the failure of other people to behave the way you expect them to, the disappointment also involves resentment.

Make no mistake - expectations of women have changed, for the better, in recent history.

Opportunities once unavailable to our grandmothers, or even our mothers, are now accessible to?women everywhere.?

Deep seated sentiments that girls and boys are inherently different are fading fast.?Then why do?we still see advertisements of pristinely dressed women.

Why is it that we don't get upset when a cup of coffee does not make itself, but we might get upset if someone else does not make us a cup of coffee?

Where do we get the sense of power to think that merely expecting others to behave the way we want them to will make them behave that way?

And what entitles us to get angry at other people when they fail to meet our expectations?

Expectations among people are often based on an implicit social contract.

That is, without actually verbalizing expectations about give-and-take in a relationship, people construct stories in their heads about legitimate expectations of each other.

So, people in a relationship have a "deal" in which the specifics of the deal are never really talked about. It is hard for someone to live up to your expectations when they don't know what they are, but you still might see this failure as a violation of your social contract.

Unspoken expectations are almost guaranteed to go unfulfilled. Talking openly about what you expect from other people might improve your chances of fulfillment, or so.

By learning to not expect people to know what I want and need, I’ve learned to be much clearer in my communication. I don’t expect my friend to know why I’m pouting; I try to tell him why I’m upset.

At the same time, it is unrealistic to think that merely communicating your expectations clearly is going to get people to behave the way you want them to.

I don’t expect my children to know the house rules all the time; I am very clear when I remind them even if it’s the 100th time?[emphasis added]).

?Children not conforming to parents' expectations seems to be a recurring theme.

Disclaimer:?The information on this POST is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional advice. The opinions expressed within this article are the personal opinions of the author. All content, including text, graphics, images and information, contained on or available through this article is for general information purposes / educational purposes only, and to ensure discussion or debate.

Thank you?….?Ever ask your teen in the morning to do the dishes and come home from work to find they’re not done?

This points to a second kind of social contract, one based on authority rather than the mutual reciprocity in a friendship.

Parents assume that their children should obey their expectations because adults have the authority to run a household.

Thinking that this will happen is unrealistic. The question is what to do when children do not follow the rules you have designed to help them keep safe, stay healthy, and grow into their potential.

If you think that the answer is to get resentful and angry and to yell and threaten, you might want to consider other alternatives.

Do you want to add a word or two?

You may have noticed that several times in this post I have distinguished between realistic and unrealistic expectations. This distinction is so important.

The expression should actually be phrased as 'Unrealistic expectations are premeditated resentments.

Believing that an unverbalized expectation will bring you what you want is magical thinking and is unrealistic.

Expecting that doing what in the past has reliably brought about a result you want is realistic.

Expecting others to do what is in your interest, but not their interest, is unrealistic. Expecting others to do what is in both of your interests can be realistic.

Your Comments……

Love mostly comes on our door without knocking. We meet people unexpectedly and at times fall in love with them.

It is one of the most beautiful feelings to have experienced in our lifetime. This will help you understand your feelings in a better way and you may also share these with your partner to express your love and the beauty of finding unexpected love.

The beauty of love is that, You can fall into it with the most unexpected person at the most unexpected time.

When you feel a connection, a gut connection, a heart connection, it’s a very special thing.

What’s familiar to everyone is watching people falling in love; it doesn’t happen on screen that often. People fall in lust, then they’re suddenly together.

It is difficult to locate the exact origin of the slogan, "Expectations are premeditated resentments.

We want to do what we think is in our own best interest. If we expect other people to act in ways that are not consistent with their own interests, they will probably resist our expectations, leaving us resentful.

How do you feel when people expect you to do things that are inconsistent with your own?goals?and values?

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