Dunyā ?????? The Life in between

I've recently had the chance to travel to Amman, Jordan for a 7-day business trip, and in those 7 days, unexpectedly I had that moment of Eureka! where I have discovered a lot things about life and realizations that I need to reconsider sooner rather than later.

Dunyā (arabic ??????) or what they call "The Life", "The Now" or the temporal world and its earthly concerns and possessions before the afterlife or the life after death. It is said that life here on earth is temporary and earth is just a place which contains all the objects of our desire as humans and in reality a mere transition or place of passing and has no permanence or lasting meaning.

We are Born, we Grow old and we Die.

Thus, Dunyā, the life we have in between, just comes once in our lifetime and we need to make the most out of it.

But the question is How?! Is it enough that you are happy, you have a stable job, you are earning money or you can buy the things you want? I realized the answer is NO.

So what can we do to at least live life with no regrets? Here's my list of 15 considerable realizations that might be helpful, to re-assess where you're at-- in this thing called Life:

1. Find somebody to share your life with. Somebody to go home to and create memories with. I mean, for one, family will always be there, but spending time with "your person", the one you can build your own family and grow old with is a desire that everyone wants to have.
2. Project yourself in 5-10 years where you wanted to be in life. Try to reach your target each year or do things at least one step at a time. A step or two is better than doing nothing at all.
3. Travel goals are best when spent with family, friends or with someone you love. I realized travelling alone can be quite exciting in the first few days-- exploring new scenery, tasting new delicacies and what not. But, trust me, it will certainly leave you feeling empty once you reach your hotel room after the days' activity and find yourself with no one to talk to or cuddle with. Sad but true.
4. Quit your Job if it doesn't support or fit your long terms goals. You can always find a new job, you just need to take the leap of faith. I know it sounds scary and crazy, but in order to grow, sometimes we need to risk and sacrifice either career or love for the greater good. Well, you're lucky enough if you can have both at the same time-- and I wish I can do so too.
5. Cliché as it may sound but MONEY can never buy happiness. Even if you're financially stable or you have all the riches in the world, we can't have everything what we wanted. There will always be something that's missing in the equation and money won't solve it.
6. Work to live for others. It is often said that we should Work to Live not Live to Work-- but I say it should be "Work to Live for others happiness". It is the ultimate fulfillment and a gratifying feeling to earn not because you want to be rich or buy the things you want, be famous or be financially stable-- but to earn for family, to give back to the community and support others who needs help. Your greatest legacy is not the riches you have or the title you hold in your career-- but the respect and the good memories people will remember you for in their lifetime, after you wither and die.
7. Be Grateful. Don't worry about tomorrow, because it may or may not come. What is important is, be grateful on what you have now and celebrate each waking hour with the people who truly matters.
8. Do what you Love and Love what you do. Don't do things just as "a means to an end", like dragging yourself to work for a career you're not happy with JUST to earn money and survive. There's nothing more worth, than doing the things you feel passionate about. Never allow anyone to dictate who you should be or what you should do in life-- as long as you're not stepping on anybody else's toes.
9. Be humble in your success. The essence of life isn't defined on how successful you are but on how you have kept your principles and character intact once you've reached your goal. Never forget where you started and the people who lifted you up when nobody else believed in you.
10. Never speak ill about others. Ruining another person's reputation for personal gain won't give you the success you want to achieve nor the respect you want to gain from peers-- because it isn't your reputation that's important, its your true character that is perceived by others, when no one else is looking. Reputation is built on what you say or how you project yourself to others-- But True Character is built on trust, respect, morals and values.
11. Acknowledge mistakes and ask forgiveness. Well, we are human, and unfortunately, humans tend to make mistakes-- like literally tons and tons of mistakes all the time. And most often than not, we justify each mistake with one after the other. At the end of the day, regardless of the weight of the wrong deed, the most important thing is we learn from it, change for the better and ask forgiveness from those who were badly affected by our actions.
12. Raise a Child, Plant a Tree and Write a Book. I learned this Chinese proverb from my dad when he once told me, if you want to be remembered and leave a mark in this world, you need to do at least three things to keep your roots and traditions passed on to the next generations to come. Well, to plant a tree and write a book would be easy-- to raise a child would rather be too complicated and challenging :) but would definitely make sense.. to keep the family tree alive.
13. Respect yourself enough to walk away and cut ties with people who hurts you and negatively affects your inner peace and well being. In as much as I hate to say it, matter of fact, NOT ALL people who surrounds you want to see you happy, succeed or do greatness in life. People will deliberately hurt you, deceive you, lie to you and disrespect you-- because you give them the full satisfaction and the power by allowing them to do so. For what ever purpose or motive they have, Never stoop down to that level. Draw the line. Cut the rope as early as possible to keep your inner peace-- Trust yourself, you know better.
14. Be Kind. A thank you, a hello or simply asking someone how their day was, goes a long way. It can mean a lot to someone who is struggling with their own issues, or probably for someone who is battling their way through depression... or someone who is just trying to fix a great deal of a mess in their life. Kindness gives comfort, that what ever they are going through right now, there will always be hope for better days ahead.
15. Last but not the least, Never end the day without saying I LOVE YOU to your family, friends and especially to the person you love most. Cheesy as it may sound, but as we said, life is temporary, You Only Live Once "YOLO" as per the trending acronym created by the millennials. Truth of the matter is, come on, why not? It is not only by saying those 3 lettered words, its the simple gestures, its how to make them feel special. If you're the type of person who's not used to expressing your feelings towards your parents, your siblings or to that special someone, well knock knock! think again, what if today's gonna be their last? would you rather keep your ego than speak and act what's in your heart? Live with no regrets-- and one of the most common regrets people seem to have nowadays, is not being able to express their love and care towards the people who matters most.

Everything happens for a reason. It may not seem to make sense now, but it will eventually come into fruition sooner or later. Fortunately, Life and Love works in mysterious ways, you just have to go with it, accept the things you can't change, find courage to forgive when you're hurt and just continue living.

Reality is, we grow old, we get weaker, we tend to be less productive each year passes by. The future is uncertain whether we live or die, today or the day after and this is where we can apply the old adage "Life is too short" and "Life is what you make the most out of it"-- so make each day count, live the life, live the Dunyā the best way you can with no fear and no regrets-- Then only you can say, indeed-- life is worth living for.

******** ACKNOWLEGEMENT ********

The inspiration of this article simply rooted from one (out of the many) insightful conversations that I had with one of the managers I was with during this trip. We were literally sorting out tons of candidate applications after a tedious recruitment activity that day, and at that moment, Dunyā came to words.

He was Arabic speaking in nature, (which is the very reason why I came across with this Arabic word after all), but despite the language barrier (him trying to explain Dunyā the easiest way I can grasp the whole thought), he enlightened my mind with so much wisdom that every time a conversation ends, I'll just find myself speechless and just utter the words-- "Yes, Dr., indeed that's right".

Thank you Dr. Mohammad Alfi, for the insights and the interesting random conversations during this trip. It was indeed a memorable one.