The Dual Entitlement Crisis

“I’m special and you’re not.” Just writing these words is uncomfortable. Yet we have all come across people whose behavior demonstrates overwhelming superiority. For reasons that psychologists are just beginning to understand, some individuals have a lofty sense of entitlement deserving of special treatment and privileges.?

The word “entitlement,” coined to define a thing to which a person is entitled—such as a parcel of land passed down through the generations—has evolved to describe people with an inflated sense of self-value and a bloated ego. The present description is pejorative, of course: No one likes entitled people, as they blatantly ignore rules the rest of us consistently observe.

Entitled people are often born into a higher social class providing access to generational wealth, pricey educations and other privileges, impelling them to believe they’re more competent than others denied these opportunities, according to a 2019 study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.

“Advantages beget advantages,” the study’s lead author Peter Belmi, PhD, of the University of Virginia, writes. “Individuals with relatively high social class are more overconfident compared with individuals with relatively low social class.”

Their overconfidence derives from a birthright to entitlement. Put another way, once born in the upper class, the likelihood is that one will remain in the upper class. “Overconfidence can help them maintain their social advantage by making them appear competent in the eyes of others,” the study states.?

Not only wealthy and privileged people fit believe they’re entitled to special treatment. In disadvantaged places like East St. Louis, where I grew up in what has been referred to as “America’s most dangerous city ,” a different type of entitlement is evident. The reasons have nothing to do with feelings of superiority; rather, the opposite is the cause. Rules may be flouted because of intractable circumstances like poverty, crime, homelessness, and discrimination.

This “reverse entitlement” results in rationalizations like, “I did nothing to deserve being born in this difficult situation, so the rules shouldn’t apply to me.” Or “I’m going to do what I need to survive, stealing from others or selling drugs because of my unwarranted struggles.” The classic entitlement demonstrated by wealthy individuals and the reverse entitlement demonstrated by poor individuals have coalesced to form a dual-entitlement crisis.

“The Rules Don’t Apply to Me”

In a 2018 joint study by researchers at Cornell and Harvard Medical School, the authors conducted a series of experiments to determine which groups of people, including individuals with a higher sense of entitlement, were more likely to disrespect rules and instructions. The study found, “The entitled people did not follow instructions because they would rather take a loss themselves than agree to something (they perceived as) unfair.”

Such individuals may think, “I deserve to cheat on an exam, or pay another student to do my homework, or take credit at work for something I didn’t do, or shoplift jewelry or clothing, because other people had opportunities and social connections I didn’t have,” the authors stated.

Entitlement cuts all ways. Ironically, a word describing the lawful ownership of something has transformed into an unlawful right to anything. We see this evidence every day—people jumping in front of the queue for concert tickets, darting ahead of the line of cars making their way towards the highway exit, expectorating on the subway platform, jaywalking across the street in front of cars, and on and on.

Unlike rule-followers, such individuals could care less what is lawful, socially acceptable or even beneficial. If a sign outside a retail store cautions, “no kids in carts” to shoppers, entitled people disregard the warning, thinking, “I’m special, I’m better than everyone else, I’m going to do as I please.” The same persons may dismiss regulations involving seatbelts, children’s car seats, smoking in public places, and wearing face masks for public health reasons.?

Individuals with an unhealthy sense of entitlement believe they have a right to do as they please, justifying their decisions because of their privileged circumstances, or unfair lot in life, or the perceived unreasonableness of the rules imposed on them. When their high expectations of themselves go unmet, they view others as trying to take advantage of them, the joint Cornell and Harvard study authors found. Hence, they are likely to have unwarranted demands, create conflict and not apologize for mistakes. Even when told they will be punished for disobeying rules, they are still likely to defy authority.

Some people may feel entitled to ignore rules and instructions for reasons pertaining to their heritage, religion, nationality and/or skin color. Individuals inclined to distrust the government may feel they have a right to break the rules or be “free riders,” wanting other people to pay for a public good that they plan to use themselves. Individuals who believe in bizarre conspiracy theories like a cabal of elites trying to enslave them also may feel entitled to ignore the rules of an unjust regime.

If it seems like entitlement is spreading, the reason might be today’s instant gratification culture. Thanks to technological triumphs, people have become inured to instantaneous information pumped out by search engines, rapid responses to questions posed to virtual assistants, and single-click online purchases with same day delivery. The ability to instantly access and consistently tune in to self-reinforcing media only exacerbates the problem. We have been spoiled into believing we’re entitled.

As a result, some individuals struggle with impulse control. They make rash, emotional decisions and rationalize that they had a right to do what they did. To make better, more thoughtful decisions, an effective solution is to develop emotional intelligence, managing one’s emotions through self-awareness and empathy.

The Way Forward

Each of us can help others we sense are forming feelings of entitlement by not overplaying their strengths, knowing our actions may foster their unhealthy overconfidence. While a healthy dose of authentic self-confidence can overcome feelings of entitlement, relieving stress and tension about one’s prospects ahead, overconfidence results in minimal ingenuity, creativity and effort, falsely guiding one to arrogantly believe their judgments are better than others’ judgments.

A delicate balance also must be struck between individual freedom and actions that adversely impact others. Every one of us needs to pause and consider our individual accountability and collective responsibilities as members of a society with socially acceptable behaviors. Rules are what a civilized society is all about. Without laws, policies, guidelines and directives, chaos reigns.