Drowning in Strengths: Part I

“Understanding the difference between healthy striving and perfectionism is critical to laying down the shield and picking up your life. Research shows that perfectionism hampers success. In fact, it's often the path to depression, anxiety, addiction, and life paralysis.” ― Brené Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection

Understanding can be a fascinating and yet elusive concept. How many of us have a true understanding of who, what and how we are? How many times are we projecting one image, while confident that we are showing something else, entirely?

When I was introduced to YouMap? author Kristin Sherry, I thought that I had a clear “understanding” of who I was. However, after going through her YouMap? process, my knowledge of my core being was greatly expanded.

The Deep Dive

Kristin led me through a process that ascertained my strengths, values, skills and career interests. What was revealed went beyond that. I saw how each of these areas had shaped my life’s choices, for better and worse. After going on the YouMap? expedition to the center of my being, I emerged with insights that I have been able to use in my own health coaching practice. 

I immediately noticed that our strengths can be seen in our health choices. I was intrigued. Starting with my own, I took a closer look at how we can be driven by our innate traits. Driven to greatness and over the edge.

My top strength is Learner, which on its face is a fantastic strength to have, but when combined with other strengths and taken to extremes, it can become overused and a hindrance. Understanding my strength (and how I use it) has also helped me to gain insight into potential weaknesses.

Each of us has our own unique strengths and how they interact with each other can impact how we show up in the world. Having this knowledge greatly increases our power to grow into our best selves.

The following came from my personalized report. It shows that if I’m not careful, I can come dangerously close to a scarcity mindset and self-destructive criticism. I edited out the rest of the report to be able to focus on the things that can become roadblocks to my growth:       

·      frequently promise yourself to do something (better)

·      examine the (consequences) of your words and deeds 

·      determined to gain insights from your (mistakes)

·      center your efforts on making (improvements)

·      You devote a great deal of time and energy to acquiring the knowledge and skills that you sense you (lack).

·      You regularly challenge yourself to address your (shortcomings)

Gaining a deeper understanding of my strengths, values and priorities has allowed me to have a more holistic approach to my health. Interestingly, my Learner strength has been incredibly influential in both my physical and mental health. It has also been, both, beneficial and detrimental.

Each of these, at one time or another, has become fodder for my inner critic, under the guise of self-improvement. Until I realized this, I had lived under the assumption that I just wanted to be better; however, better had always been a moving target.

A desire to be better can quickly become dissatisfaction with oneself. It is important to differentiate between making improvements fueled by having a growth mindset and those that emanate from self-loathing.

Strengths, Weaknesses and Health

I am drawn to and fascinated by the sport of bodybuilding, and the desire to learn about my body and improve things (that may only visible to me) has kept me occupied and intrigued over the last few years.

However, I have had to be very careful with my approach. There was a time, when I could only see flaws, in what other people saw as an ideal body. Rather than experience the happiness of a successful weight loss journey, I was lost down a rabbit hole of a scarcity mindset and only able to focus on what I didn’t look like, the body that I didn’t possess, and what I needed to do to fix it all.

No matter how little I ate, how healthy I ate,  or how much I exercised, I was never enough for myself. My self-esteem was in tatters and it affected my relationships with others, especially with my husband. I seemed to have had an inability to feel adequate or worthy.

The Fix

Knowing how overusing my strengths can become an unhealthy thought process has taught me the need for practicing mindfulness and self-compassion. It has allowed me to see that my secret pursuit of an ultimately unattainable perfection is not a productive use of my energy.

The pressure that I was putting on myself physically, mentally, and emotionally (in all aspects of my life) had become overwhelming.

The decision to become a YouMap? Certified Coach has given me helpful insight into the unique attributes of people that I work with. By understanding their personal strengths and how they can both help and hinder, I can assist them in developing approaches to their health that are specific to who they are.

Interested in learning how your YouMap? influences your health and what you can do to improve it? Contact me and let’s find out!