Dropped From the Cast of Big Brother 2018

For those of you who saw my facebook live video recently, will have seen I was a bit shell-shocked after being told I was entering the Big Brother house in a few weeks…

Only to be told last minute that they couldn’t take me because Channel 5 had deemed me too high risk.

I don’t blame them, to be fair…

I mean, I have violent offences and mental health reports that would paint me as one crazy son of a bitch.

Anyway, after a bit of a reflection, and 3 bottles of vodka…

JOKING!

Isn't that a bloody miracle in itself by the way?!

Yup. I'm still completely sober ??

But yeah, after some sleep...

I’ve come to reflect even further, and I am pleased that Big Brother REJECTED ME.

I know rejected is self-perceived, and actually, I just wasn’t the right fit – bla bla bla.

But, I want to internalise this a rejection.

Rejection is a great motivator and a solid part of any success story.

Yeah, Big Brother would have been a great short-term quick win - and a life-long dream for me...

But it wouldn’t have given me long-term fulfilment.

It wouldn't give me the fulfilment that I had been given multiple no’s, knockbacks and moments of feeling like giving up…

Only to find the courage to grow as a person, keep pushing forward and appreciate that eventual win, 10 times more than I ever would have if it was handed to me a plate.

So, enough of the reflection game…

What have I done?

Because it’s all about action, right?

Thinking isn’t going to turn this ‘rejection’ into the pivotal moment that I need to drive myself even further forward.

I’ve gone back to the drawing board and I’ve asked myself a string of important questions to get to the heart of what I want, how I want to help people, and what positioning I can take online/offline to get me to those people.

- The changes to my website are being made as we speak!

I then decided it was time to pull my finger out and get on YouTube.

- My intro video and banner art are being produced as we speak!

I also decided I wanted to audition for more things to with performing and fame. Whether they’ll be big or small, it doesn’t matter, but I want to take a step into that world now.

- I’ve emailed about a flat in central London.

- I’ve signed up for an agency and applied for 5 TV shows already. 

- I’ve got a photoshoot booked in for the weekend.

I’ve also decided that I will be more ME.

- I’ve worked out my core values.

- Listed parts of my personality I’d like to show more of.

I’ve of course kept myself accountable by sharing this with you guys.

I want to thank everyone for all the support. The messages, comments and phone calls have been really helpful.

I’ll be honest, part of me, for about 3 seconds, considered jumping on the nearest plane and picking up a drink.

But that would have been too easy…

Plus, I have no excuse when I have my own personal mindset coach in my head.

That little voice that used to tell me to give up, I wasn’t worth anything, that I was always going to fail and be rejected…

Was so quiet, I could barely hear it.

What I did hear was…

Lewis, this is part of your journey. You will use this to push you forward until you find something better…

This is a blessing in disguise; keep going, you’re nearly there!

For everyone that helped create that inner dialogue, I will always be very grateful.

Now, to continue moving forward every single day from now on until things start to happen.

Watch this space.

Lewis.

P.s this picture is me falling down, and getting the FUCK BACK UP AGAIN, with a smile of my face ????

Let's do this! ????