THIS Drives 95% of Your Decisions

(scroll to bottom for TLDR)

Did you know a Harvard professor found 95% of your decisions are based on your emotions?

And yet, most people know very little about their emotions.

So, in today’s newsletter, I wanted to hit you with 10 must know truths about emotions to ensure you are educated on what?drives 95% of your decisions.

Let's start, shall we?

Truth #1: The "emotions processing" part of your brain does not truly develop until 6

The brain quadruples in size and grows to approximately 90% of the adult volume at age 6.

But before then, your ability to process emotions is minimal.

But why does that matter to you?

Because children struggle to process emotions alone. Instead, they must rely on their caregiver.

But most caregivers struggle to handle their children's emotions. They may respond to:

• Prolonged sadness with discomfort ("it'll be ok")
• Joy with critical words ("don't get so full of yourself")
• Fear with irritation ("just suck it up")

So, if you struggle expressing any of your emotions, well, you likely did not have a safe space to express that emotion as a child.

Truth #2: Emotions are absorbed in your body in ~6 seconds

The time an emotion is triggered?to the time it’s broken down and absorbed in the body lasts about six seconds.

So, if you feel something for longer than 6 seconds, it indicates you are amplifying the emotion.

That can be a good thing. For example:

You need fear to continue fueling your system when a bear is chasing you down.

But sometimes it's not helpful. In those situations, remember that:

Truth #3: Emotions are like waves

They rise, peak and finally crash.

So, while they will intensify, trust that emotions will eventually come back down.

In an ideal world:

1. As emotions rise and peak, you bring your body back to homeostasis
2. As they crash, you process the emotion so it can flow out of your body

And that brings us to the topic of?processing emotions...?

Truth #4: No matter how scary emotions seem, they take you to a good place (if processed)

Emotions can feel overwhelming.

But if you spend time processing them, they are a gateway for you to better understand what you like, dislike, and need.

For example:

• anger may indicate you need better boundaries
• Fear could mean you want comfort

Truth #5: There are 6?core emotions

The 6 are: Anger, fear, sadness, disgust, happy (joy), and surprise (anticipation).

Some also include sexual excitement in this list.?

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Truth #6: Emotions like to be named and validated

To process your emotions, label them, like this:

I feel [insert core emotion]?because of [insert event that triggered emotion].

Research shows labeling the emotion reduces its intensity.

You may be thinking:

"But processing emotions feels uncomfortable. I'd prefer to just ignore them. Eventually, they disappear, right?"

Well...

Truth #7: It's ineffective to "stop" emotions

“We are about as effective at stopping an emotion as we are at preventing a sneeze.” - Antonio Damasio

The advice I got regarding emotions: Be a man and control them.

Spoiler alert... I could never stop my emotions from happening.?

With emotions, you have two options:

1. Process and release the emotion
2. Suppress the emotion

And if you suppress the emotion, your body may hold onto that emotion.?

Wait, what do you mean your body may hold an emotion?

Truth #8: The body holds your emotional experience

At least, unless you decide to process your emotions. And the impact on your physical health is significant:

Research from 2019?linked emotional repression with decreased immune system function.?

A?study from 2013?identified areas of the body where specific emotions are experienced.

In order for emotions to move out of your body freely, you need to flow through these 5 steps :

1. Calm yourself (return to homeostasis)
2. Label the emotion (I feel _____)
3. Process the emotion (I feel ____ because of ______)
4. Validate the emotion (It's ok I feel that way. My body is telling me _______).
5. Release the emotion (We are safe).

Speaking of processing again, here's another fun fact on that topic...

Truth #9: When processing emotions, your brain does not know the difference between fantasy and reality

This allows you to fantasize about releasing your anger in “impulsive” ways you would not actually act upon in real life.

For example, let’s say your dad says something hurtful. You feel angry. Rather than hurting your dad and retaliating, you can:

• Imagine punching them in the face or
• Punch a pillow

Your anger will be released in the same way it would were you to actually retaliate.

The brain doesn’t know the difference, and your body can release the anger. Oh.... And no one gets hurt.

Truth #10: Emotions are contagious

We all have mirror neurons. These are a special brain cell which allow you to reflect what people are experiencing.

It’s why joy is greater with groups.

It’s also why people can get caught up in group think and side with the people around them.

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TLDR:

1. The "emotions processing" part of your brain does not begin to truly develop until age 6
2. Emotions are absorbed in your body in ~6 seconds
3. Emotions are like waves: they rise, peak and ebb
4. No matter how scary emotions seem, they take you to a good place (if processed)
5. You have 6 core emotions
6. Your emotions like to be named and validated
7. It's ineffective to "stop" your emotions
8. The body can hold onto your emotional experience (if you don't process)
9. When processing emotions, your brain does not know the difference between fantasy and reality
10. Emotions are contagious

Enjoyed this content?

Then subscribe here to my free weekly newsletter.