Drinking: The Seemingly-Perfect Solution to Overwhelming Emotions
Chrissie Zavicar
Co-Founder of Stack Brands. Co-Creator of Lions Nation Unite. Executive with Team 84 LLC. Brand strategist, content creator, storyteller.
Have you ever felt trapped with your emotions? Stuck with rage, anger, fury, sorrow, devastation?
All you want to do is escape. Make the pain stop. Make it go away.
So many of us reach for a drink.
That's what I always did.
Now I feel like I'm fumbling around for my lost keys, trying to find that trusty tool that has served me so well in the past. The tool that glosses things over and makes them go away.
Only ... they don't really go away, do they?
We think we're releasing all of those emotions. After all, that's what the ads tell us, right? Party the work week away! Get it out of your system! Let go! Have a hot girl summer!
The only problem is that all of those feelings are waiting for us when we get back. It's like going on vacation to "get away" only to come home to the house you didn't clean. The repairs you didn't take care of.
So we drink some more.
We drown ourselves in Dopamine. It medicates us. Except the more we use alcohol, the more alcohol it takes to feel good. The highs start to get higher and the lows get lower. We drink more to get that satisfactory buzz, which means we crash even harder into depression, anxiety, complacency.
How many of you have sat down at your computer, looked at the monitor and thought, "I just don't give a f&^k"?
You don't have to actually answer. Just know that I know. It begins to feel pointless. Like a hamster wheel.
Fighting for affirmation, recognition. Fighting to be seen for who you really are.
When it doesn't happen, we drink.
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That becomes the answer to everything, right?
Just drink.
It entertains us, softens us, comforts us, exhilarates us ... which is why we can't possibly fathom life without it. The thought of getting sober is ridiculous. What would we do with ourselves? How would we have fun? Who would we BE?
Well ... right now we're the people having so much "fun" on the weekends, partying ourselves into massive hangovers. We're the mothers "overrun" with responsibility who are told that wine will keep them sane.
We're the soccer moms bringing wine to our kids' sports events in a YETI. We're the dads getting bombed in front of the TV watching sports. The traveling executive going out with colleagues out for drinks before ending up alone with a mini bar.
Our lives revolve around getting that next drink. It isn't always overt. Sometimes it's just a program running in the background, always wondering when that next swallow of relief is going to happen. It's why removing it from our lives seems so depressing. We feel like we need it.
The tough thing about choosing to let go of alcohol is what emerges afterward. People whose lives revolve around drinking have underlying struggles. That rage, anger, fury, sorrow, devastation that I mentioned.
Sobriety is when the real work begins. It's hard. It's really, really hard, and there are times you don't feel you can bear the overwhelming emotion.
If you choose to go down the path of sobriety, I recommend:
We think sobriety is going to be boring, but it's far from it. It's colorful and vibrant. It requires strength, perseverance, and grace.
But it also brings life in more ways than one.
About First and Sober
First and Sober is about living life with presence. For some, that means first getting free from the hold alcohol has on their lives. For all, it means getting real about living each day wide awake and on purpose. If you believe you have a problem with alcohol you can't overcome on your own,?please reach out for help.
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2 年I think drinking and other vices are easy to fall into because it requires minimal effort. Other outlets, such as working out, writing, etc. require intentionality more often than not. But if the point of life is to be intentional, then intentional outlets are what we should pursue. Easier said than done sometimes
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2 年Clearly I need to read this article because after putting my dog down yesterday I had two drinks after my kids went to bed while I cried my eyes out. I didn't even consider another outlet.
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2 年My go to has been sweets all of my life. It seemed to help me cope with loneliness and abandonment. Now, I am battling to get that trauma healed. It is a painful process to go toe to toe with your trauma but like you said, it is better in the end.
2X - Co-Author of the #1 International Best-Selling book - Rattled Awake Vol. 5 - “Shaken From The Darkness” & Vol. 11 - “Living The 12 Steps Towards A Beautiful Life” / Machine Assembler at AKS Cutting Systems
2 年Another great post! Depression was a huge thing for me towards the end of my drinking. The more I drank, the more ‘I THOUGHT’ it would relieve my emotions. It did not. Like you mentioned, it started to give me a satisfactory buzz. In the end I drank so much that I HAD to drink every 1/2 hour or the shakes were definitely coming. I also let drinking revolve around my daily life too. Work not so much, but it did for family gatherings. My family knew I loved my alcohol, but didn’t know the full extent of it. I would go to family functions have a couple beers and then leave early, claiming I was really tired from work and was going home. On the way home I stopped at the store and loaded up for the night. So glad I don’t have to do this anymore. I never want to do this again…. Thank you, Chrissie.
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2 年Yes too often the easy temporary fix is what we reach for NOT because we want to but because we want relief from the pain.