Drinking on an Early Flight

I’m sitting on a flight early on a Monday listening to orders for alcoholic beverages.?

My mind immediately wonders what pain these people must be in or what they may be running from or numbing.?

The drinking they may have engaged in last night that has them wanting to take the edge off with a Bloody Mary. The emotional pain they may be experiencing that they are looking to medicate with a mixed drink.?

In early sobriety, I was floored by the amount of alcohol propaganda around me. By the CONSTANT pressure to drink by people and advertising.?

When I stepped into sobriety, I recognized how hard I had been pressuring others to drink as a way to convince myself that my behavior was normal. The last thing I wanted was someone acting as a mirror. I wanted to be around those who had the same live-for-drinking lifestyle that I did.

Now more than five years sober, I recognize how many people medicate or numb with alcohol. How many people let it soothe them. Calm them.?

For these people, alcohol is a friend.

It’s a companion. A way to escape. A way to feel in control.?

Drinking: A Love Story by Caroline Knapp is one of my favorite memoirs because she talks about that relationship. The love we have for the substance. When I was drinking, I tried to articulate that relationship, but didn’t know how. I felt a little crazy making the attempt.?

But Caroline does it so beautifully. She captures the way alcohol — in the beginning — makes us feel empowered. Cultured. Alive.?

Then, as though we’ve sold our souls to the devil, the destructive nature of alcohol takes over and the control disintegrates. Suddenly we’re making deals with ourselves to cut down or making excuses for our behavior.?

We get stuck in the dreaded anxiety loop.?

When I get off this plane, I’ll quickly depart, likely forgetting about those who had a couple drinks on this early-day, Monday flight.

Right now, though, I silently wish them well.?

I hope they’re okay.?

I hope they have support and love and fulfillment.?

I hope they aren’t tangled in the destructive web of alcohol abuse.?

I hope.?

About First and Sober

First and Sober is about living life with presence. For some, that means first getting free from the hold alcohol has on their lives. For all, it means getting real about living each day wide awake and on purpose. If you believe you have a problem with alcohol you can't overcome on your own,?please reach out for help.