Dressed for SucStress? Examples We Set as Leaders

Back in the 80's I was given a book written by John T. Molloy titled "Dress for Success". It was required reading during my IBM days as some of you old enough to have been in the workforce at that time can relate to. Not only did I learn the corporate expectations for professional attire, I also became indoctrinated in what "success" entailed in order to move up the corporate ladder.

Over the years, and especially now, I've come to question some of those standards of success as I - and many of my clients - experience the pressures and stresses of piling on expectations, commitments, actions, hats, and many other "do's" required of professionals, business owners, parents, and other leaders. Much has been noted of how doing-it-all and having-it-all since 2020 compounded our mental health challenges.

So, how do we mitigate what a recent Wall St. Journal article called its title, "Some Days, Having It All Means It All Falls Apart"? There seems to be a common thread in current publications because I also found the following titles in just the last few weeks:

• "The Right Way to Take a Mental-Health Day"
• "The Problem With Working on Weekends"
• "Tame Your Stress Level by Walking With a Friend"

Mmmm. Looks like a trend, here. Well, here are some tips I've collated from these four articles that can help us be more effective leaders by taking care of ourselves.

(1) Step out and take a walk - preferably with a friend or someone you genuinely like. When our stress experiences become chronic, our cortisol levels stay elevated leading to inflammation partly responsible for health problems. The exercise we get while walking briskly increases our serotonin and dopamine levels in the brain. This increase can positively affect our moods, sleep, and sexual health.

Ten minutes in nature (and there is nature even in the city!) can decrease our heart rates, blood pressure, and cortisol levels which affects our self-reported stress levels. The added benefit of walking with a friend is that we experience the social connection we missed when we were physically separated for months on end.

(2) Put a limit to working on weekends. We challenges to separating personal from professional demands when many of us suddenly worked from home. Life impinged on our days and we spent nights and weekends catching up on business and work. While more people are back in offices, we're still catching up and having work spill into our weekends, especially if we're in leadership positions. A 2022 ResearchGate study noted that people working weekends and holidays - even when they chose to do so - reported a 9% drop in intrinsic motivation.

It's unrealistic of me to say, "Stop it!" completely because weekend work occasionally becomes necessary. I implore you, however, to limit how much you allow this to happen. Examine your work habits and how you use your time during your regularly-set work week. Trim the unproductive fat and be more intentional about completing tasks and meeting commitments within your work week. (Josh and I have written many articles on doing this; look for them on LinkedIn and our MindTeam Solutions blog .) Encourage your staff to do the same. When you model an expectation of limiting weekend work, they're more likely to feel comfortable about limiting theirs, too.

(3) Take a periodic "mental health" day whether you call it that or not. Be intentional about doing so. I know, I know ... you've got too much to do, too many people to care for, too little money in the bank, and no time to get it all done, let alone take a day for yourself. Yet you know the mantra: if you don't take care of yourself, you cannot take care of everything else. Burnout is real and you feel its effects whether you admit it or not. I know I do.

Follow my lead: put a date on your calendar - now! - and note it as "Meeting With [Your Initials]". No details. No further explanation. No Zoom link. Your Calendly app will identify the day as "unavailable" so that no one can squeeze-in a surprise meeting. When your team or staff or admin asks you about that day, you owe zero explanation other than "I've got an important commitment". Then take the day and do something for you. Just for you. Make it simple like getting outside, or meeting a retired friend you haven't seen in a long time for a long lunch, or sitting in your lounge chair and reading a non-work-related book (or listening to an audio-book), or doing a longer workout than you normally squeeze into your day. Whatever you do for yourself, slow down, clear your mind, lighten your heart, and tell yourself that it's necessary to make the day yours; everything else will be there when you return. You'll be in a better frame of mind to deal with it all.

I do all the above, and you should see my commitments across all aspects of my life! Nothing in this writing came from ChatGPT. Undress for suc-stress. Be the example to influence others to follow your lead.