Dreams: Intentions or Expectations?
People seem to be torn between the following dichotomies:
- “Should I have dreams or should I be realistic and forget about them?”
- “If I have dreams, how do I make them happen? And if I don’t make them happen, am I a failure?”
- “I am too old to fulfil my dreams so I better conform myself to the life I have and give them up totally”
- “I couldn’t make my dreams come true so I will try to get my son/daughter/friend… to fulfil them for me!”
- “Is it OK if my dreams change? Am I not honouring myself? Am I being weak or a coward because I know that my dreams are gone? Is this why I have changed them? To suit my Ego/ self-esteem?
- “I can’t believe so & so have achieved so much so soon; he/she is so young and seems to have the world at her feet!”
and then, in desperation and not knowing what to do with ourselves, self-pity or a sense of victimhood sets in…
So confusing, isn’t it? I know. I have been there. Alas, I am still there! (from time to time…)
My question to all these (and other similar) dichotomies is:
Is it in the intention or in the expectation?
I have observed the evolution of my love and hate relationship with dreaming theories over the years and this is what I have come up with:
Originally I told myself that dreaming was a waste of time because it stopped me living in the real world and I would spend my energy on something that was no real.
Later on I realised that this was just a fa?ade to hide the fact that I didn’t feel strong enough to pursue my dreams, that I wasn’t sure what my dreams where in the first place and, most importantly, I desperately wanted to avoid the disappointment of not achieving them.
Over the years I got into spiritual development and started to get in touch with the person inside. I guess I became stronger and more daring, so then I gave myself permission to dream a little bit. This was going to be a small test to see if I could withstand the disappointment and hurt of daring to fly and crashing face down. But I thought this was necessary for a healthy mind and heart in order to allow me to firstly, stretch myself a little bit and secondly, allow my inner child come out and play in the world of the big boys.
A few years later I was right in the middle of making my dreams happen. I would say I have only achieved about 70% of what I intended to but, my God, I am happier than I have ever been!
Yes, I did go through heartbreak. Yes, I did change jobs and didn’t seem to have a direction. But throughout all, one thing I stuck with and persisted doing: I told myself that, while I was alive, I would continue to focus on learning spiritual matters and apply them in whatever job/relationship/friendships… I had at the time. I would focus on the inner person and hold tight to the idea that as within, so without so I firmly believed that if I wanted the outside world to change, I would have to change or shift the inner world first. For me, there wasn’t another way and I would prove it!
Somehow I changed from being invisible to becoming someone respected in the work environment and in life in general. I was heard and I had achieved considerable freedom to get my work done or organise my life in the way I thought was best. It seemed that although people didn’t understand my methods, they saw they somehow worked so they simply decided to have faith in me! Funny, just as I was developing faith in myself…
Then, in my Coaching course, I heard the notion of “you need to be a clear channel for life”.
I had never heard this before. As a Reiki practitioner, I am well aware of what it means to be a clear channel for the energy to come through you and go to the client, not being interfered with by my Ego and not expecting any specific results. This is because the energy knows where it needs to go.
“Is it possible to do the same with LIFE – as with healing energy?” I wondered.
Then it hit me: “Well, of course, everything is energy!” All those piles of things to do, all those things/people that we hold on to and don’t seem to be able to let go… all of it blocks our life energy.
That is to say, we don’t trust that we will hear the message or hold the idea just at the exact time when it is needed to come into our lives. We don’t trust that we will be clear enough to take the necessary steps to mature this message or idea and make it happen (manifest it) because we feel we would live at the edge!
This is what we call FAITH.
And so I came to a conclusion:
Dreams are needed so that we can focus on our higher potential or truth. They allow us to stretch ourselves and make us get further than we would have if we had never worked towards the dream in the first place.
Dreams require that we have faith in ourselves and the universe so it takes courage to have a dream and to hold on to it.
But as our lives change, dreams change as well. My advice is that if a dream doesn’t fit you any more, let it go and move on into your new level of understanding. The old dreams may have simply shape-shifted into a more mature version of themselves or they simply may have taken to evolve some of the skills needed in the original dreams and mould them into something closer to whom you are now.
If you don’t reach your dreams, be compassionate with yourself. Tell yourself that you are great simply for trying and for becoming a bigger person. You only have one shot at this life and I rather jump and crush than never jump and live regretting it.
And the most important thing: it is never too late. While there is life, there is hope. I am also a very late starter but, you know, sometimes, when you have a lot of life experience and start very late, the progress can be incredibly fast! Because you already did the necessary learning sometime in the past.
But one word of warning:
If you create a dream out of a need, you will push it away. Either give up pushing or find out what is the need to be fulfilled. Fill this need and then revisit your dream. If you are not depending on achieving it, you may be surprised and get right there!
Accept whatever your life offers you at this moment (even if it feels as the wrong job or the wrong relationship…) because this is the foundation for your dream. Something in your present is needed to be learnt or worked out in order to achieve this dream. You are at the right place and at the right time. Always. Simply accept it and embrace it. It is merely a stepping stone to achieve your dream. Turn it around.
Have the intention of the dream but give up the expectations of how it will all happen, how it will all develop and untangle itself, how it will manifest. Create the flow and the bridge by “seeing” yourself in the dream and follow the steps you are guided to take, even if the path takes a different shape from what you originally had in mind…
Focus on the feelings you want to achieve, the inner qualities. When you achieve the inner wealth you were longing for (because you will! As long as you don’t GIVE UP…) make sure you then open your hands, acknowledge and accept whatever is being presented to you and, very important, show gratitude for otherwise the flow will close and it will take you a whole new cycle to have it presented to you again!.
When all this is done, as the Law of Attraction states that equal attracts equal, you will find that the physical manifestation of your dream will come to you, just like magic!
Intentions open the way.
Expectations close it.
Make your choice.
From my Ebook: “Practical Spirituality I (Finding Spirit in Everyday Life)”
Ebook: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B007CLOIH6
Book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1726736717
“Practical Spirituality is a compilation of spiritual articles written as a means of inspiration for those who enjoy reading spiritually based literature. Through them, I intend to give you different perspectives, a detached outlook, and my personal insight so that they can help you shift your view of your present reality and realize that we always have a choice and that it is this choice which makes the difference between a life of struggle and a life of empowerment”.
Copyright ? Dr Ana Garcia PhD, DTM (2003 – 2019)
All rights reserved. No portion(s) of this book can be copied, used or reproduced for any manner without the expressed written consent of Dr Ana Garcia.