Dreams of a child

Waking up on a cold rainy autumn weekend day knowing that there will be a day of dreams, of fantastical adventures, of heroes and of darkness. Always keeping the book I was reading on the floor beside the bed so I could reach down and start reading as fast as I woke up.

Back in school

The clock rang and everyone was shuffling in their seats, trying to get out from the classroom as fast as possible. The sound was as usual loud and annoying. Ever since I discovered the world of Tolkien at the age of nine I was stuck, stuck with my nose in books, in fantasies, in my worlds of imagination. I always had a book with me at school and I always went for it as fast as class was over. Science, naah, I could not care less to be honest. It was annoying to be forced to study, to learn, why should I? I learned everything I could from my imaginary worlds after all.

So where did my dreams take me to? Honestly, most of the time to far away mystical lands through the books of fantasy and Sci-fi I gulped down as a crazed monk munching on magical mushrooms. At the age of nine I read Bilbo and the first book of trilogy of the ring, the year after that I had gulped down the two other ones, this time around in English, while learning the language at school. Honestly I had to go back to the books later on in my teenager times to reread them only to notice that my English at age of ten...well it sucked.

One type of dreams stuck with me though, no matter the books I read, no matter the worlds I saw and visited, the dreams of flying high above the clouds, leaving our planet and head for the stars. Those dreams where so strong that it caused me pain from inside out from time to time. Pain that I could not go there, to the darkness and coldness of space, flying among the stars, visiting real worlds beyond our own. They subsided with time, at least the worst wanting and something else replaced the need to go forward.

As a teenager, I was introduced to the art of Karate by a Sensei my father happened to know about in our hometown in southern Sweden. This specific Sensei came to be like a second father to me in many senses much later in life when his teachings finally started to trickle down in my mind and understanding of values. Sensei Jumrukovski was back then as he still today is a very strict, fair and hardworking person who is extremely humble. To him Karate, and specifically the Dojo is a second family, a life above anything else and this is what he managed to get through to me, even though it took half a lifetime for me to finally, realize where it came from.

Everyone who studies the Sutras should read them not only with the eyes that are in his head but also with those of his soul. - Bhudist Saint Nichiren

Why math is like the notes of life itself

Why does science grab me so hard, drag me along its path and makes me completely entranced? Mathematics was not a strong subject of mine back in my school days and yet...it calls out to me the older I get. For me science has but one single goal, one single importance in my own life, to try to understand why the stars pull on my soul so hard when I look up at them, be it dark or be it full day.

Numbers, measurements, constraints, and laws setting up a canvas of reality, and yet that perceived reality is as thick as one's imagination. Just as a symphony, the notes of each instrument is a composition, creating a beautiful melody, math explains nature, piece by piece that together creates a world that gave us humans a planet to call our own. Math is like notes of life itself. 

Mathematics is a hidden "parallel universe," full of elegance and beauty, intricately intertwined with our world. -  Edward Frenkel

I will always be a person with three major parts all intertwined into one single mind and longing for understanding, of human nature, where life comes from and where are the bloody aliens?

Dreams of fantastical worlds with magic in them, a need to sharpen my body and mind so that I can stand on the side of justice whenever needed but first and foremost a dream of truly flying between the worlds, among the stars, up there, where nothingness finally soothes our mind and let us dream like we did as children.