Dream a Little Dream of Me.

I have a goal. I have been working hard towards that goal for just over a year and I am yet to reap what I have been consciously and sub consciously (action boards, Affirmations, hypnosis) sowing. I know this is the nature of business. This is not my first endeavour into creating something new. The last time, though, I was younger. I was able to carry kit the equivalent of my body weight deep into the woods and spend all day in the rain with overexcited young people or emotionally exhausted women. It was down to me and my business partner and our drive and enthusiasm to keep the show on the road – or in the forest, in the mud!

Until now, I have been reading business books, learned the teachings of the stoics, undertaken miracle mornings where I get up at 5 and make sure I visualise, exercise, and journal. I have been networking, to conferences and followed up on every idea or lead that comes my way. I have been consistent and generous in my marketing and optimistic in my conversations. I have made sure I keep my creativity alive by spending time in nature, mostly alone, sometimes running up hills as the sun rises winter or summer. I have facilitated in my home life to the nth degree and not sought out any extra events so I can be present to work or to move wet washing around the house at home. I have cancelled days out with old friends because I so very much want to and need to meet my goal. I have kept my vibrations high, my mindset above the line. I haven’t had a day off work, thinking about it or doing it, paid or unpaid, since the three-day Swine Flu of 2009.

Until now, I have had the energy and the discipline to do all the above, thank goodness. I have always had above average levels of energy. Thankfully so, (those without abundant levels of energy who may have long term, life limiting conditions, are heroes/ warriors managing to keep their working and home life ticking over, while constantly feeling below par.) I have always been disciplined, uncomfortable early years led to bomb proof resilience and independence. Now though, I am slow.

I have slowed down when I can’t really afford to and don’t want to. The deadline to my timed goal is moving closer. September 2025. The business books are starting to get repetitive; the time alone is starting to get too enjoyable; the workload is still huge and the to do list, shifting into time boxing, is not shorter or smaller, just rearranged.

Why have I slowed down? Because as Mark Manson so eloquently puts in his book “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F..k” – you only have so many f..ks to give until you run out! Use them wisely! I must play the long game. I am also injured. I have a hip flexor or hip joint issue that is forcing me to rest, physically. Recently for the first time ever, I have had to take myself out of long, waiting queue to sit with my head lower than my heart, feeling dizzy. These are signs, whispers that are getting louder, so I am listening and resting. ?Respecting my own resources and finding new boundaries of self and care.

The great thing though, about having a business that is not yet where I would like it to be, is I have the capacity to mould it to how I want to live. I might, very likely, only get slower; I might, very likely, also get ill. This period of enforced rest has led to reflection. I don’t want to die from overworking, and be of no use to anyone, that was not the Sept 2025 goal. I need my business to be able to care for me if I need time off. I want to be able to serve my clients by showing them work and business is only worth it if they themselves are at optimum levels of health and wellbeing. I can’t coach people to abundance if I, myself, have no energy. That would be like telling my children about the dangers of smoking while lighting up my 15th cigarette of the morning, or the importance of wearing a helmet on their bikes while letting my longish, greyish hair flow in the wind as I cycle, hitting every pothole at speed. Less wholesome Mary Poppins more sweary, Wicked Witch of the West.

So, while I sit here on my sofa resting but still working a bit, hoping to heal, trying to be patient, while not getting too annoyed with myself, I am grateful that I have managed 52 years at full tilt, hoping to preserve my many more F..ks to enable me to serve and succeed. I have a mission and a goal and while I must rest now, I will not quit.

I am a Financial Adviser Qualified Coach and Educator available for Financial Wellbeing Corporate workshops and one to one or couples money coaching. My purpose is to empower more people to financial wellness through education and awareness. My expertise is personal finance. Contact me directly if you think I can help you find funds to live a generous and adventurous life.