DREADING THE HOLIDAYS - Part 12

It is all about choice.?Remember, everything you do is a choice.?What you do and say, how you do or say them.?Whether you say or do nothing.?Even not choosing is a choice.?

You can choose how you think, whilst most of the time most of us are driven by habitual thinking it is actually your choice whether you continue to do that or whether you choose to be mindful.?You’ll find more information about being mindful on another video.

This is as tue at the holidays as it is on the other days in the year.?There is no doubt that expectations become incredibly heightened around holidays.?For some reason we expect far more out of our vacations or traditional holidays such as Christmas, Hanukka, Ramadan, Ede and so on.?I’ve worked with so many clients who have family challenges who are more upset by their families behaviour during the holiday period.?The paradox is that families and friends are thrown together for longer periods than normal, with no distractions of work, school and individual interests.?

The combinations of personalities becomes more complex with in-laws and out-laws, grandparents etc.?Many people have very little in the way of a filter before they speak so are likely to say something which upsets someone else if you add alcohol to the mix there is the potential for disaster.?Be mindful about how much you and your guests drink, if possible intersperse the alcohol with non- alcoholic drinks and make sure people eat too.

Teenagers don’t stop being teenager –y simple because it is the holidays and young children often find it impossible to deal with the huge levels of excitement in the lead up to the occasion.. By the time it arrives they are so hyped up and over tired they become fractious and over tired.. Add the change or lack of routine, too much sugar and you have a recipe for disaster.

Very often the few are trying to do the work whilst the many sit round being ‘guests” so the slaves become exhausted, resentful and far more sensitive to actual or perceived slights offered by family, relations or friends whose filter is turned off.

It is no wonder that many people dread the holidays.

It doesn’t need to be like that.

Have realistic expectations of your friends and families.?More importantly have realistic expectations of yourself!!

You can offer the opportunity for people to have a great time but you cannot make them achieve that for them.?Their emotional state is up to them.

Take a step back and consider how you can minimise the opportunities for difficulty.?Be as prepared as you can in advance.?It doesn’t have to be perfect, where possible take the pressure off yourself so you have the energy to enjoy it too.

You can’t change how other people are but you can change the way you deal with them. If you change the way you react it has the potential to give you a different result.?There is much more information about this in my book, Thriving Not Surviving.

If you approach the holidays with dread your brain will be looking for what is horrid.?When you are realistic but positive about spending time together, you will have a more balanced approach.?Even the most difficult days pass.?

Remember the holidays don’t last for ever and if you employ the strategies I’ve shared with you here you can minimise the stress and upset and maximise your enjoyment.?

If you have any specific questions or you would like help with particular issues please contact me via the website (https://genuinely-you.com ) and I’ll do my best to help.?

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