Drawing your own boundaries

Hi there,

I believe the flexible, trust-based working world of the future is full of exciting possibilities. But I haven’t lost sight of why we worked the way we did for so long. Along with the all-important human connection it enabled, the 9 - 5 office-based working world brought us structure, stability and boundaries. And, inflexible as they were, those boundaries sometimes came in handy – giving us time and space to transition between our work and home roles, not to mention the safety and security of a familiar routine.

Many of us are facing into a future of hybrid or even fully flexible work – where the boundaries between work and home are no more. Of course, we all know the upside to this. Those hard boundaries were unrelenting when it came to managing the realities of our work and home demands. But we still need ways to find structure and certainty in our routine. So, what’s the solution? It’s going to take time to work it out. But, as a starting point, I’m all for using this opportunity to draw our own boundaries and build a working routine that actually fits our needs.

Sound like a good idea but need help knowing where to start? Here are some steps I’m working through…

1)??Set your vision

I know your daily routine isn’t usually something you’d think about in visionary terms. But when you add the days up, this becomes about the experience you have in work and in life. So, it’s up there with pretty much any other lofty goal you might have your sights on. Think through the little things you want in your day. Do you want to be around to drop your kids to school? To make sure you’re in the office on certain days to meet the team??To take a little time every day to focus on?your wellbeing? Think it all through – and even if it doesn’t seem possible to fit it all together right now – you’ll have it as an aim to work towards as you make changes to your routine, big and small.

2)??Reflect on your preferences

Everyone?has different preferences for the way they like to segment or integrate their work and home lives. This is explained nicely in Boundary Theory in psychology. It says that there are people who don’t mind keeping these boundaries totally fluid (integrators) – they’re the ones with one hand in the laundry basket while dialling into Zoom. And others who really like to keep those boundaries nice and solid (segmenters) – when they’re at work, they’re at work and when they’re at home, they’re at home.

If you have a preference for one way, and your work routine matches that preference, you are more likely to thrive than if your work routine is mismatched to that preference (it’s been tested with outcomes like performance, wellbeing and engagement).

Imagine this on a scale: completely integrated on one side and separated on the other, do you have any sense of where you might sit??

Because if you’re ok with a bit of integration, a routine of home-working is probably suiting you down to the ground. If not, you’re probably lamenting the boundaries of yore and will need to test out ways to put some back in place (good news: the next step’s got you covered).

3)??Test out what works

Think through a typical week and ask yourself: are there tweaks you can make to your routine that would allow you to better draw the boundaries between your work and home life? Here are a few examples:

• Rituals:?Is there a ritual you could use to signal the transition from home to work and work to home? Like walking to the local coffee shop to serve as your commute; changing from home clothes to work clothes or spending a few minutes listening to your favourite music. Anything that will help you transition between the two modes.
• Time & energy:?Is there a way of putting boundaries on blocks of your time? Can you tune in to when you have your best energy for certain tasks and map out times in the diary when there's a particular work or home demand that needs your full attention? This may seem obvious but it’s also a hard one to get right – so, do use trial and error to find what works for you.??
• Focus:?This is about working out your move from ‘always on’ to ‘on within reasonable limits’. This goes for work related disruptions when you’re in home mode – like turning off those pesky email alerts. And it goes for personal distractions when you’re in work mode. If you’re a segmenter, you may well find that a simple step like this could help you clear your mind enough to focus on whatever task is at hand.?

4)??Set expectations.?

Once you are clear on the boundaries that work for you, the next step is to make sure others are aware of them too. Recently, I’ve been coaching teams working through this together – so they all understand each other’s preferences and are better equipped to respect them (e.g. not calling at certain times, prefacing emails with a note to clarify a response is not expected immediately).?This is a really healthy way to foster mutual respect for each other’s working preferences.?But even if you can’t manage a team discussion, simply setting the expectation through consistency in your behaviour could be enough.?For example, if it’s outside of hours and you see an email you *could* reply to, do your best to hold off. The more people know that you’re not likely to reply at certain times, the more they’ll respect those boundaries.

Needless to say, this also goes for the people in your home and personal life.?Let your friends and family know that you’re blocking certain times out for work-only focus. And don’t?forget that sign that tells your kids you’re not available for making snacks at their beck and call.?(Shout out to Caroline Bowen - @speechwoman - who posted this sign on Twitter in March 2020 - showing parents everywhere how it's done)

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What next?

My advice is to spend some time reflecting on all of this over the coming weeks and months. Take note, particularly of those moments when you feel you are at your best – these are likely to be the times when you’re managing those boundaries to your advantage. And don't be too hard on yourself if you can't always get it right. The demands from work and home will always collide. It's just about knowing your own limits when they do, and finding a way through it as best you can.

It might mean starting with small changes to see how you go. But with each tweak you’ll be moving closer towards knowing what routine works for you. And as you equip yourself for the uncertain working world of the future, this will be a really valuable insight.

I'd love to hear what tricks you have up your sleeve for managing your routine in the new world of work. Comment below to join the conversation.

Bye for now,

Erin

?PS: If you’re interested in this topic, I talk about it a bit more in this video from my Linkedin Learning course all about preparing for change

This newsletter is a part of a series to help you find ways to change your experience of work for the better. Subscribe and you'll find it in your inbox every other week.