To drastically improve my leadership skills, I decided to become a referee! Here is why...

When I joined Capgemini, I went through a rigorous and intense assessment track, which resulted in a very strong report which I was very proud of. But there was one key element in my leadership profile addressed as improvement point. This was directive / hierarchical leadership. It does not fit well with the servant leadership style which comes from my heart. And therefore, always eager to grow and improve, I decided to push the boundaries of my comfort zone, and let myself become familiar with something I always seem to dislike. And I did so not in a working environment, making use of the many training facilities Capgemini is providing, but I did so becoming an official sports referee! From all my certifications and diplomas I got the last year, this one is the one that took me the most, maybe even learned the most from, and which I am most proud of!

There come these certain points in life, where all ingredients come together to cook this fabulous meal of crowth. When I received my assessment report at Capgemini I was extremely happy with the strong results in it, but also intrigued on my improvement point of Directive and Hierarchical leadership. I have known this for many years as a leadership style I like to avoid, but always left it at that. Being a chairman of multiple organizations, I experienced first hand that sometimes this type of leadership is really needed, but I always seemed to find a way to avoid adopting it and still getting results.

Half a year ago I retook my Managing Drives DISC color assessment with the team I was at, and again a big red minus showed up. And they even indicated they needed more redness. But since I was not convinced this leadership theme could come to me outside-in, I started opening up to find a way to start learning this inside-out.

In some arbitrary weekend, when I was watching a sporting match of one of my kids being very badly refereed, it hit me. Becoming a referee would be the ideal way for me to learn to embrace this new type of leadership! A referee combines all the aspects needed to start exercising directive leadership.

First of all, there is no “real” hierarchy. Implicit hierarchy is of course derived from the fact that we all agree to the rules of the game, that the referee has the say on the field. Hierarchy because of holding a whistle, so to say. But with hierarchy you still have no leadership. You need to be respected and exercise authority at the same time. Something that at first glance do not go together naturally. Second, since the leadership style and being (or becoming) a referee were completely uncharted territory to me, it was going to be a very daunting and scary journey to say the least. And third, referees have a tough job these days. Rude comments and even physical abuse seems to be a worrisome trend these days. In the corporate environment, we are (hopefully) always behaving in a (semi) polite and sophisticated manner. But not always so during a sporting match. Gloves come off, and sweet boring innocent Dad can become the Hulk in a matter of seconds. If there is one place where you would be able to learn to truly Direct, it’s on the green field!

Last but not least, I always say to myself and others: if you think you can do a better job you shouldn't be whining about it, but actually do it. So instead of being one of the parents throwing crappy remarks at the Ref, I decided to take matters in my own hands, and make a change for the better.

So I went out, to learn, to grow, to push the boundaries of my comfort zone. To balance and embrace the concepts of respect, authority, directing leadership and confidence. And what a fulfilling journey it was. All building towards my exam-match where an official examiner from the sport association (KNKV) would judge on my referee leadership skills.

And this is where the Magnus Opus presented itself. My final match of my training program. It was going to be a rivalry match, where the away game resulted in an all-out quarrel. And in the weeks before the match, it was decided I would not lead this match as referee because of the risks involved. I also was doubting if my own experience and confidence level would be up to par for a match this potentially explosive. The match was assigned to an experienced high-level referee, to make sure there would be order and control during the game. One week before the match, the assigned referee became sick, and the examiner committee indicated that only that Saturdaya examinr could come (otherwise after 3 months, which would put but me completely outside my flow and tight string of refereed matches). And next to this, I was actually feeling very confident and I was in a very positive flow. I even had the strongest belief inside me, there would not be any problem with this match at all.

And so, the match was reassigned to me, and I would lead my masterpiece game that day, combining the stress of being my exam and being so potentially problematic. I talked to the examiner, to the players and to the coaches before the match. I “demanded” a fun game, to make my exam memorable and a true party to be celebrated. I refereed to the best of my abilities, and go the respect I needed. I was able to use directing leadership, maintaining respect and fun. It was a truly memorable experience! It was in the end, the most fun, respectfull and fairest match I had refereed in my (pretty short) carreer. Players amongst eachother, and towards me, were playing like the were friends for years.

I learned a lot of new skills, I became familiar with something I always avoided,and came to love and cherish it as one of the new tools in my toolbox. I reset the boundaries of my comfort zone, and trusted that I could do anything as long as I set my mind to it, and was able to draw from the Heart.  

Taking your next big steps of growth in your business career? You might want to think about taking a non-business route to get there. It can be truly inspiring and worthwhile!