Not To Be Dramatic, But This Practice Will Make You Richer And Healthier And Make Life Easier And?Better

Last Saturday, I spoke to a group of women about four common themes most women, especially working moms, struggle with. I described the life challenges and encouraged the women in the room to pick the one that resonated the most.

Surprisingly, most women at the event self-selected into the least popular category. I’ve never had that happen before.

Then, we broke into four like-minded groups to connect over a few coaching exercises meant to spark new insights, reveal deep truths, break old barriers, and challenge limiting beliefs.

But let me back up for a?minute.

I’m always curious when a client wants to work on “just this one thing” because it’s never one thing, is it? When you zero in on a singular topic, it can actually limit growth because, while there may be something overarching or urgent, most challenges aren’t isolated.?

Most are interrelated, and how we see that connection and respond to that interrelationship affects our ability to move beyond them. That’s why scoring each of the four categories and ranking them in priority order is so valuable.

When you know if one area is dominant or you think you have only one issue but are shocked to find it’s more complex or even something else entirely, you can create a plan specifically tailored to your needs.

Further, in almost all cases, when the most monumental challenges are addressed, nearly all women report a better quality of life and dramatic progress toward their goals. So, the improvement across the board happens, but next-level advancement follows as well.

Think about your toughest challenges and everyday struggles. Have you ever found yourself intensely focused on one area of life, only to notice others unraveling? Conversely, progress in one direction might highlight a need for improvement elsewhere.

Deciding where to start and what to focus on can be overwhelming. Take this quiz to pinpoint and prioritize the areas where support and guidance could make a world of difference for you. Then, rank your challenges to discover what type of transformation could change your life.

Finding the courage to be imperfect.

One of the common misconceptions about struggling is that you have to look like a hot mess or be floundering to need help. In fact, I see women all the time who are utterly put together and thriving in so many ways, but perfectionism is killing them, and they don’t even recognize their lives anymore.

Or, they might share a version of a socially acceptable hot mess?—?messy bun, wine in a to-go cup, athleisure all day?—?but they would never cry in front of others or trust someone enough to say what’s really going on behind closed doors.

For those of you who assume you know what’s working well and what isn’t in your life, you’re invited to confirm your instincts . The purpose of the quiz is to identify your number one life struggle. It’s 40 questions, but it only takes about 5–10 minutes, depending on how fast you read and decide. Every question is either YES or NO. You might be surprised what it adds up to about your life!

What you do with the results is the bigger question. As you contemplate what the big reveal reveals, I’d like to offer you one strategy you can use now, no matter your struggles, to experience a breakthrough.

A change in perspective is worth 80 IQ points.?—?Alan?Kay

Thanks is the highest form of?thought.

Gratitude is the top strategy that creates breakthroughs. Was there ever a November that I didn’t champion it? Uh, no, not for years?—?Tis the season!

Today, for illustration, we’re going to the dark side for a minute, and I want you to try to catch yourself when you feel a pessimistic thought creeping in or a heavy emotion dragging you down over the next few days. Please write it down or send yourself a voice memo when you do.

Then, try this: Ask yourself what is already true about the situation that you can celebrate and give thanks for. It might be hard. We are predisposed to worrying about the future and ruminating about the past, so gratitude is an effective way to disrupt those inclinations.

I’ll share three examples.

Example One: Let’s say you hate your job and want a new one. It might be difficult to see the upside. Things you could potentially be grateful for include:

• being able to make your mortgage payment consistently
• a project you completed that made you feel like a rockstar
• the billion other jobs out there and the odds that some of them are perfect for you
• knowing in explicit detail what you don’t want.

Example Two: Imagine you regret how you handled a conversation with a friend and the distance it created in your relationship. Some things you could appreciate about the situation include:

• the fun times you shared
• the success and happiness you’ve both experienced independently
• that funny thing your friend used to say that pops to mind sometimes
• the song that always makes you think of the trip you took together.

Example Three: Let’s say you want to start a small business or freelance consultancy but don’t know if you can truly make a go of it. The process still works (even for anticipated challenges), and you could focus on celebrating what lessens the fear:

• your existing talents and expertise
• this time in history when launching a business has never been easier
• other (specific) examples in your life when you didn’t know how something would turn out, but you found your way and are better for taking calculated risks
• your spouse, friend, or colleague who believes in you.

When we focus on the good, we have a positive, receptive mindset, and whether we consciously know it or not, we invite more good into our lives.

By turning hate, anxiety, or regret into gratitude, we are rewriting our script for the future, an alchemist turning disadvantages into advantages, downsides into upsides, and misfortunes into fortunes.

Shifting your perspective to lighten up opens the door to new opportunities, insights, or outcomes that make a solution more likely and likely more favorable.

We didn’t “solve” our challenges with gratitude in any examples because you can’t measure happiness by the absence of challenges in your life. But your ability to remain happy (or at least optimistic) despite them is essential, and gratitude is the way.

Throw out the rule?book.

So much good can come from flipping the script. When you put your struggles on the table, you not only see them in a different light, unburden and neutralize them to some degree, but you also permit yourself to reframe how you think (and feel) about them.

In turn, you create more satisfaction and freedom with just a change in perspective. So, it’s the same situation and the same cast of characters, but it just went from a sad story to a happy ending, and you rewrote that for yourself using gratitude.

When you make gratitude a habit, you create a brighter future. As you become more consistent, you’ll see more evidence that it works, deepening your belief. Before you know it, everything changes:

• You not only experience less lack, but more abundance comes to you.
• You not only experience less unhealthiness but exude more vibrancy.
• You not only experience less struggle but become more resilient.
• And you not only experience less negativity but are more discerning and can recognize and more easily access the positivity that surrounds you.

This process builds trust in yourself, others, and the Universe. And that’s how gratitude makes you richer and healthier and makes life easier and better.

Take the quiz to identify and address your primary struggle and see how it compares to many women’s everyday struggles. Your well-being, relationships, success, and overall happiness depend on this self-discovery.

I’m super excited about helping you with this! Here’s the link to that quiz one more time .