The Drama Triangle - It’s Likely Playing Out In Your Workplace Right Now!

The Drama Triangle - It’s Likely Playing Out In Your Workplace Right Now!

You’ve seen the love triangle in movie after movie, and you know EXACTLY what it looks and feels like.

But what about the Workplace Drama Triangle? Maybe you’ve never heard of it, but I can bet that there are probably a few playing out in your workplace!

A Drama Triangle consists of 3 different roles —the Victim, the Persecutor, and the Rescuer.? These roles often create misunderstanding, resentment and conflict on a team. In other words, they create Drama!

Here’s how these roles play out in the workplace:

The Victim: This worker feels oppressed and helpless. They don’t use their voice to speak up, share their perspective, or try to resolve conflict because they hold the belief that life is unfair and people are out to get them.

The Persecutor: When people are playing this role they blame and criticize others for any and all problems they see. You will rarely find this person taking their share of responsibility.

Rescuer: This individual tries to save others and “better the work environment.” However, the rescuer often jumps to the rescue to make THEMSELVES feel better. This stirs up more drama when people resent the help and when the rescuer feels unappreciated and overwhelmed which leads to burn out.

The interesting thing about this dynamic is that you can switch roles within the triangle. It’s even possible to end up playing all three roles during one conversation!

Here are some questions to determine if you're in the triangle yourself:

  1. Am I quietly judging those around me, even if I see helpful solutions?
  2. Do I feel like everyone in my workplace is different than me, or I’m all alone??
  3. Do I create issues for petty reasons (or blame others for doing this)?
  4. Do I try to justify myself? Saying things like,? “I was right for _____ reason”
  5. Am I imposing my will or opinions on others, when they didn’t ask for it??

The Burning Question: What are you to do when you find yourself cast in a Drama Triangle?

STEP OUTSIDE THE BOX! (Or the triangle, I suppose!)

Try to keep an eye out with this newfound awareness. Recognize when you or your employees are actively in the triangle and pause.?

Take a breath and ask yourself these questions.

When you find yourself playing:

The Victim:

  • ?…and what else is true?
  • What are my other choices?
  • What’s the story I’m telling myself?

The Persecutor:

  • What do I really want from this person?
  • What do I want to be different?

The Rescuer:

  • Is this about my ego??
  • Do I know what the REAL problem is?

When in doubt, the best thing you can do is call it out.?

“I feel like we're falling into a pattern of blame here. Let’s get curious about what specifically is needed so we can move forward”

By understanding and addressing the Drama Triangle, you can create a more constructive, open, and supportive work environment.

P.S. If you found this helpful, share it with a friend. And if you’re planning an event or know someone who is, consider booking me to speak. Check out my speaking demo video ? I’d love to talk about other ways to lessen the drama in your life.

Karen McCullough, CSP

Keynote Speaker- Generations Expert and founder of The Keynote Academy: Change Management Speaker | Employee Engagement |Workplace Culture | AKA The Millennial Evangelist | Keynote Coach, Association and Corporate Events

2 个月

I hate to admit this but...In my past life as a fashion retailer, Drama was part of the game...boy did we hear the stories. Talk about drama...The things that are said behind those dressing room doors. I learned quickly not to get involved. It was a lesson I had to teach my staff because those drama stories are very inviting and sometimes dangerous when they involve other customers and friends. When we got involved, we became the rescuers; let me tell you, it was not a good place to be. Especially when you were conducting business. We learned to listen, detach, smile, and move on. Thanks for this @robyn, great advice

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