Dr. Ruth and the Importance of Kindness

Without a doubt, the single biggest thrill of my career was being invited by Arnold Schwarzenegger to be the speaker and emcee of the Great American Workout on the White House lawn, where the President and many celebrities were in the audience.

I was very fortunate—the day was successful beyond description. The audience of the world's leading politicians and stars was hugely responsive, and even the President repeatedly told me that I had “knocked it out of the park.”

After the event, there was a reception in one of the Congressional Office Buildings. If you’ve ever been there, you know they have marble hallways where any sound will echo for quite a distance. As I was walking to meet my wife at the reception, I heard the unmistakable voice of Dr. Ruth Westheimer telling someone, “He has done very well today. That’s why you must humble him tonight!”

I rounded the corner to see that Dr. Ruth was engaged in a conversation with my wife! Laughing, Sheri asked, “Humble him? What did you have in mind?” Dr. Ruth laughed uproariously, saying, “I mean, keep his feet on the ground – nothing sexual!” Then both looked up and saw me standing there, and they burst into laughter again. Dr. Ruth gave me a huge hug and was extraordinarily kind in her comments, even sitting with us at the reception.

Fast-forward about three months. I was a movie reviewer attending my first film junket in New York City at the prestigious Regency Hotel on Park Avenue. Wanting to grab a bite of breakfast after working out in the hotel gym and attired as I would be on a film junket in LA, I put on my best jogging suit and headed to the restaurant.

I wasn’t thinking. This was a spot for the power breakfasts of Manhattan. Everyone but me was wearing business attire worth thousands of dollars. When I walked to the hostess stand, it was as if everyone turned in unison in disgust at some idiot breaking the rules of upper-crust decorum at the Regency.

Until a short woman with a pronounced accent dining alone stood and shouted across the restaurant, “My friend! I’m here! Join me for breakfast!” It was Dr. Ruth.

Sheepishly, I walked toward her. She hugged me and whispered, “Act like you own the place.”

Instantly – because of her – I went from a rube who didn’t know how to dress to some confident maverick who didn’t follow the rules. Three executives even strolled over during breakfast because they wanted to say hello to Dr. Ruth – and trying to figure out who she was enthusiastically dining with that morning.

That was the last time I saw her in person. We corresponded a few times over the years, but another time to get together was always postponed until the next trip.

I wanted to share this on the day of her passing because Dr. Ruth was known for many things – but to me, she will always be a wonderful woman who didn’t have to be kind or show me such grace…but did. She was universally known, remarkably famous, and incredibly down-to-earth.

She proved to me that success, fame, or anything else provides an excuse for failing to be a nice person.

Maybe after today’s events, it’s a reminder we all need. Life is better when we are kinder.