Dr. Lara’s advice on how to deal with option paralysis in online dating

WHAT IS THIS PHENOMENON ABOUT?

It is a common problem faced by many people: when presented with a plethora of potential matches on a dating app, they find themselves unable to make a decision or take any action at all. It is almost as if having so many options makes it impossible to make a choice. This paradox is quite interesting—having too many options can actually make it harder to come to a decision!

HOW DOES THE DESIGN OF ONLINE DATING APPS CONTRIBUTE TO OPTION PARALYSIS?

The design and concept of online dating apps can contribute to this phenomenon in a few ways. With an overwhelming number of profiles to sift through to find a suitable match, the process can quickly turn into endless scrolling. It can put pressure on users to quickly evaluate a large number of profiles instead of taking the time to consider each profile carefully. Additionally, extensive filtering options such as age, location, interests, and more can cause users to spend too much time trying to find the “perfect” match, even if such a match does not exist.

HOW DO I KNOW I AM AFFECTED BY OPTION PARALYSIS?

Several signs can indicate that you have option paralysis:

1. You feel overwhelmed and anxious when faced with too many choices.
2. You cannot make a decision, even after you have narrowed down your preferences.
3. You spend an unnecessarily long time researching and analyzing potential matches, but never take the next step of messaging them.
4. You find yourself constantly second-guessing the decisions you do make on dating sites.
5. You feel like even if you do make a decision, it is the wrong one, so you end up not messaging anyone.

WHAT IS THE IMPACT OF TOO MANY CHOICES ON ONLINE DATING SATISFACTION?

When it comes to online dating, option paralysis can often result in dissatisfaction. Individuals become trapped in a cycle of endlessly searching, comparing, and evaluating potential partners, rather than actively engaging in meaningful relationships. This can lead to a sense of frustration and a feeling of being stuck, which can ultimately hinder the development of fulfilling connections.

WHAT STEPS CAN ONLINE DATERS TAKE TO COMBAT OPTION PARALYSIS?

Here are some steps you can take to make the best decisions for your dating life:

1. Set clear rules and criteria. This could include age range, location, and other characteristics you find important in a partner.
2. Do not rush. Take your time to review profiles and do your research so that you are not rushed into making a decision.
3. Do not overanalyze. Try to focus on yourself and what is important to you, rather than worrying too much about minor distinctions between potential matches while comparing them in your head.
4. Go with your gut. If you feel like someone is a good fit for you, chances are you are probably right. If something feels off, listen to your intuition and move on.